Page 63 of Atonement

“Don’t worry too much,” Meyer said. “I talked to him.”

“Really?”

“Of course. In spite of everything that’s happened, I think he’s a good person.” He let me go slowly, unpeeling his fingers one by one, then took off his scarf and shirt. I walked alongside him as he returned them to the closet. “He got caught up in Conrad’s mess just like I did.”

“You’re sounding rather forgiving.”

“He’s my brother.Ourbrother.” He wrinkled his nose. “That sounds weird.”

“Yeah, let’s not say that any more.”

Meyer laughed as he took my hand.

Over the past few weeks, as we worked our way through Conrad’s possessions, the house grew emptier and I watched Meyer transform before my very eyes. He narrowed down the area of the property he wanted to build our new home on, and his eyes started to sparkle again as everything about him became more relaxed. He lost the frown that permanently marked his face as he slept; when he held my hand, his grip was looser and less likely to cut off my circulation. He even seemed to be getting along better with my dad. I caught them in one of the guest rooms one time, loading books into two boxes marked “Keep” and “Donate,” arguing good naturedly about who would play in the Super Bowl in a few months.

“Mom talked to the architect,” I said, changing topics. “She wants a sauna shower.” I’d been working on helping design the house Meyer was building. He was paying through the nose to get it done quickly, and the builders were ready to clear the trees and brush as soon as he decided where to put it. Dad hadn’t been interested in staying in the same time zone as Meyer, but I wasn’t going to leave him, and Mom wouldn’t leave the two of us, so he compromised and said he would stay as long as Meyer paid for his living expenses. I don’t think he expected him to do it, but instead, Meyer did him one better and offered to build a house for him and Mom to stay in on the property.

“I can’t see why that would be a problem.”

“Dad wants to test you. See where your generosity will cut off.”

“I might put my foot down at a litter of puppies, but honestly, I’ll build them a house as big as this one if they want.” He kissed my forehead and released me as we reached the staircase. “I need to take care of a few things for tonight, but I’ll be around. Just call me if you can’t find me.”

“Okay.” I grinned at the reminder. Meyer wouldn’t tell me what he had planned for this evening, only that it was going to be a chance for us to reconnect away from the stress we’d been under for so long. We hadn’t done anything remotely resembling normal relationship activities since we’d met, and it was wearing down both of us. “I can’t wait.”

He bent over and kissed me on the lips one more time before walking away.

I wandered to the kitchen, feeling less anxious now I knew he was back in the house. The stress melted from my shoulders and I let out a tiny sigh. Mom and Dad were around here somewhere too; the entire family was in one place. Even…

I stopped short as I crossed onto the linoleum of the kitchen, confronted with Joshua’s presence taking up the entire room. He sat on the island in the middle of the room, pounding a beer. He must have snuck back downstairs at some point. When he finally drained the can, he set it down with a sigh, but seized up as he saw me. We stared at each other for a few seconds, my hands in fists at my side, until he picked up one of the fresh beer cans beside him and held it out to me.

“Want one?”

“Suuuuure.” I stepped forward tentatively, grasping the cold metal with my fingertips. Condensation made it slippery, and I had to grab it with more of my hand, causing our skin to brush. “Thanks.”

He let go and wiped his hand against his pants. “Don’t mention it.”

I tapped the top of the can twice and popped it open before taking a large gulp. Then I spit half of it back into the can.

“What the fuck is this?”

“It’s a sour.”

I looked at the can more closely.Natural blueberries and blackberries with a tangy twist. With a better understanding of what exactly I was drinking, I took another, smaller sip.

“Hm. Actually not bad.”

“I should have warned you it wasn’t Bud Light.”

“I’m not really a beer drinker,” I confessed, leaning against the counter next to where he sat. “It’s just…wheat tea.”

He snorted. “Exactly. Once I discovered these existed, it was like a whole new world opened up for me. They’re expensive, but I guess I can afford them now.”

“Can you brew your own?”

He frowned as he thought. “Probably. Maybe I should look into that.”

We stood in silence and drank, watching through the window as flurries began to filter down from the sky. The clouds were a matte gray, an impenetrable wall blocking the sun. It would snow heavier soon.

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