Page 28 of Atonement

“Why didn’t you run?” he repeated, fingers tight in my shirt and around the back of my neck. I buried my face his shoulder.

“I couldn’t leave you here again.”

“Maddie.” He kissed my neck. “I would have found you.”

My entire body shook as I laughed and sobbed at the same time. “He never would have let you leave.”

Conrad’s voice was too loud in the small room. “Meyer said you wouldn’t come back, but I never had a doubt. You’re so much like your mother, and I don’t mean that as a compliment. You couldn’t let Meyer take his punishment like he deserved. You had to try to free him.”

We both ignored him. “Hold on tight.” Meyer crushed me against his chest, making it hard for me to breathe, but I didn’t care. I needed to be as close to him as I could. “I’ll get us out. I promise.”

I wished I could share his optimism. “Meyer,” I whispered, “we’re going to die here.”

“That’s enough,” Conrad barked, sounding offended that I would cling to the man I loved knowing it was likely the last time we’d ever be together. “It’s time to go.”

“No,” I sobbed, and clenched my fingers tighter. He was going to take me, I knew that, but it wouldn’t be without a fight. “I won’t go with you.”

“That choice was taken from you long ago, my girl.” He grabbed my hair and yanked, but Meyer’s hand on my neck held me close. He tried to twist his body to protect me from his father, despite both of us knowing it was useless. Conrad slid his hands between our bodies and pried us apart. The moment he had space, he wrapped his arms around my middle and yanked me toward the door.

“I’ll figure something out,” Meyer promised, but there was no hope in his eyes.

I stared at him as long as I could, until I was pulled into the hallway, strange hands pressing too deeply into my belly, and the door slammed between us, severing our last connection.

“Let me go,” I growled, twisting in his grip, but he didn’t have to pull me too far down the hallway to the room where I’d seen his shadow moving only a few minutes ago. I grabbed the door frame at the last second, fingers slipping on the smooth wood as he yanked me into the room with a final effort.

“You played right into my hand,” he said, glee evident in his voice, as he threw me on the ground and landed a kick to my spine that shook the breath out of me. It was long enough for him to slam shut yet another door separating me from Meyer. “It couldn’t have gone more perfectly. And now I have you both.”

He grabbed at my shirt, yanking me to my feet by the collar, but I made myself dead weight and dug in my heels.

“You’ll never have me,” I growled. My hands slammed against his chest with a thud, having no discernible impact on him, and he jerked at me harder. I reached behind me to grab something, anything that I could use as a weapon or use as leverage to keep from being pulled toward him. But there was nothing to hold on to, and when I looked over my shoulder I quailed at the sight of the bed on the far end of the room.

“I already do, my dear.” He sneered as he pulled harder, the seams in my collar popping under the strain. “It’s just a matter of details now.”

My shirt tore down the center with a rip. As his hold on me loosened I fell backward onto the ground. I winced as my tailbone hit, then scrambled to get out of his reach before he could recover. But he was so fast.

His hand lashed out and grabbed my arm, pressing new bruises into the skin. I couldn’t just resist now, I had to fight. I tried to hit him again but he lifted me and walked us both across the room with two long steps, then turned me around and bent me over, pressing my cheek against the mattress with one hand, while he pulled the torn shirt from my back with the other.

“This skin is gorgeous,” he said, palm running down my spine until he hit my bra and undid the clasp. “Reminds me of your mother.” He let go of my arm only long enough to grab a fistful of my hair, and then he was pulling me back upright and reaching around to yank my bra off. I clapped an arm over my breasts, as if keeping him from seeing me could protect me, but my knees buckled at a sharp pain in my shoulder.

“What the fuck!” I drove my elbow into his stomach, freeing myself, but he only laughed.

“You taste like her, too.”

“Stop saying that.” I was crying, there was no helping it. He wrapped one hand around my top as he bit my neck, then pulled at my shorts. Determination was completely replaced by unadulterated fear. “Conrad, just let me go.”

“Not a chance. God, I’ve dreamed of this.”

I threw my elbow again but he was ready this time. He wrapped his hand around my bones and nerves and squeezed too tight for me to escape. Still, I twisted as much as I could with him holding me so tightly. “Please stop. I won’t try to escape again. Just don’t do this.”

He kissed my shoulder. I didn’t even try to stop my reaction, the way my body shuddered in disgust. If he noticed, he didn’t say anything. “You know, asking me to stop usually earned Meyer an open wound.”

My body moved before my head realized what was happening and I flew through the air, landing on my shoulder with a thud. I opened my mouth to cry out but there was no sound, not with the pain freezing my entire body. I couldn’t do anything, not even breathe, as I watched Conrad walk across the room before falling on top of me. He ripped off my shorts, the last bit of clothing I had, and finally there was absolutely nothing protecting me from him. In his eyes was a familiar predatory look, one I’d almost seen in Meyer the night he came for me. But Meyer had still been human. I couldn’t see any of that in his father. There would be no talking Conrad back from that edge. I knew that with unwavering certainty. This had been his plan all along.

I sucked in a gasp of air as my lungs finally unlocked, but the motion only brought my chest up to him faster as he locked his teeth onto my breast as if trying to rip off my skin. My hands pummeled against his head ineffectually; he punched my injured shoulder to send me reeling with pain once more while he moved down my stomach with more burning slices of his teeth.

“Your mother made those promises too. ‘I won’t try it again, Conrad. I’ll do whatever you want, Conrad. Please don’t hurt my baby.’” He sat up and reached behind him, and when his hand came back into view it held a knife identical to the one I’d watched Meyer injure himself with. I began to struggle harder, trying to free my hips from between his knees, but I had to freeze when he brought the blade against my skin. “She never did learn her lesson.”

I smarted and jerked away from the blade as he pushed it into me, but there was no escaping. He put one hand on my chest to hold me as he drew a line across my stomach, from navel to hip, then licked his lips as he admired his handiwork.

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