Page 15 of Atonement

My hands froze and I stared at myself in the mirror as my heart soared for one desperate moment before I remembered there was no way Meyer would be here to see me. And besides, he saidmeet, notsee.

“That’s very nice, but I’m not accepting visitors at this time. Perhaps he can come back after the holiday sea—”

I jumped and spun as the door slammed open, Conrad filling the already small space with his bulk and grabbing my shirt by the collar.

“Not optional,” he growled, and pulled me out of the bathroom, through my prison cell, and into the main house. I blinked in the light, surprised by how bright it was compared to my little room with its one flickering bulb. I didn’t have any time to orient myself at all as he dragged me down the stairs Joshua had carried me up the day before. We passed through three more rooms before he threw me to my knees on a marble floor. My hands flew out to catch me as I kept falling forward, the shock traveling up my bones to my elbows and causing me to grit my teeth. I dared to glance up as Conrad strode past me toward a man standing near the window, texting on his phone with one hand.

“This is her, Alexander.” Conrad said, and the man turned to look as if he hadn’t heard us struggling down the hall, or the clack of my bones on the hard floor. He didn’t smile, didn’t show any expression at all as he turned his head slightly to the left and strode toward us.

“Her? You’re sure?”

I looked between the two men as I climbed to my feet, testing my muscles for the first time in days. The stupidity of my hunger strike hit me hard as my legs shook no matter how tightly I tensed my muscles. I should have been eating, should have tried to keep active while I was locked up. The only strength I had was from a bowl of plain oatmeal eaten hours ago. If I got the opportunity to run, I would have to use my energy judiciously.

“I’m sure. I tested her blood to be sure. She’s a genetic match.”

My eyes were roaming the room, searching for the closest item I could use as a weapon if need be, but I froze as the final two words leave Conrad’s mouth. I looked between him, then the man before me, as he closes the final steps between us and comes to stop in front of me. He looks nothing like Conrad; his hair was graying, but I could still see the dark strands showing through, and the hazel eyes that turn darker near the outside.

Like mine.

“No,” I screamed, but it only came out as a whisper since I hadn’t taken a breath in several seconds. I didn’t want this. Had never wanted this, not even once since I found out the truth. He opened his mouth to speak but I was already moving, backpedaling only to fall to my ass. My wrists screamed as they hit the floor for the second time in only a few minutes.

I tried to get up and run to the door but Conrad grabbed my arm, hauling me back to my feet as the man stared down at me.

“Hello, daughter,” he said with no trace of emotion in his voice.

“I’m not your daughter,” I choke out, fighting back the fresh tears in my voice. I shouldn’t have eaten; I was going to throw up all over the floor and embarrass myself in front of these two men. “My father’s name is Joseph.”

He grabbed my hand and held it against his, lining up our fingers. Line mine, his pinky finger bowed out further than any of the others. When I was younger, I always assumed I’d broken it as a baby. “My children have this same defect. It’s a rather persistent hereditary trait.” I twisted my wrist until he dropped me. My skin crawled where we’d made contact. “Joseph is only the father on your birth certificate.”

“And in practice.” I wrenched my arm away from Conrad but he held fast. The world was going dark, but I couldn’t lose consciousness here. Not when two powerful and dangerous men were both looking at me with such obvious malice, as if they would like to see the inside of my skull. I focused on the wall over Alexander’s shoulder rather than look him in the eye. At the same time, I stepped toward the door, determined to run at the first chance if I could ever free myself from Conrad. “If you’re insinuating you have some claim over me just because we share DNA, think again. You’re a rapist, and a criminal, and I want nothing to do with you.”

“Hmmm.” He looked me up and down, taking a lock of my hair briefly in his fingers before I slapped it away with my free hand. He chuckled. “Feisty little thing, aren’t you, for being so battered.”

“You’ll remember Eva was the same way.” Conrad’s voice was a strange mixture of proud and resentful, as if he simultaneously took credit for my mother’s fight and also hated her for it.

Alexander snorted. “I do. Worth it, though. Best birthday party I’ve ever been to.”

I couldn’t handle this. They were laughing about assaulting and abusing my mother, all while planning the same thing for me. Conrad let go of me and they both leaped back suddenly as I bent over and lost the battle with my stomach, half-digested oatmeal and hot bile burning my throat on the way up. I dropped to my knees again, voluntarily this time, and wiped my mouth with one hand. My opposite elbow shook, the only thing keeping me from falling face first into my own sick.

Get up. Run.But without the barest hint of energy for my body to hold on to, I couldn’t do anything besides stare at the floor.

“You’re lucky I don’t make you eat that,” Conrad snarled, and I closed my eyes. How could even a threat make me miss Meyer this much? My heart was already in two, but I could suture it together if only I could stop hearing and thinking his name.

“Well,” Alexander said with distaste, “you’ve made your point.” His footsteps retreated to the far end of the room, distancing himself from my mess “How much do you want for her?”

I clapped a hand over my mouth to prevent anything further from coming up. I backed toward the door on hands and knees, needing every inch of distance I could get. I couldn’t go with him. Meyer would never find me if left.

He’s not coming anyway!

“Oh, I’m not selling her to you.” I stared at Conrad’s shoes as he joined Alexander at the far end of the room. Their voices carried back across the open space.

“Well, what are you going to do then? I don’t need my wife finding out about this. She was home alone with a one-month old that night, if you recall.”

“Yeah, the baby photos were really killing the mood.” Conrad settled into a large chair, leaning back and crossing one ankle over his knee. “I think we can figure out a way to keep Emily from learning about this.”

Alexander sighed and reached into his jacket, producing a checkbook and pen. “So it still comes down to money.”

“No.”

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