Page 46 of Atonement

“This is what saves us,” I whispered, breaking free of him long enough to pull my shirt over my head. His left hand found my breast again, squeezing tighter this time, but I leaned into his grip instead of pulling away.

“There’s blood,” he said, and I looked down to see he was right, his own blood smeared across my skin.

“Clean it.” I pulled at his shirt, desperate to feel his skin against mine. But the moment he was free he leaned me back, brought his mouth to my chest, and licked all around my breast before closing his lips around my nipple. Then I had to pull away as he bit, too hard, leaning back and pulling my skin.

“Fuck.” We both looked at my chest, at my nipple red as a cherry, but before either of us could say anything more he leaned down again, lapping gently this time. I moaned as he lowered me to the slick tile, hot water from the shower still raining on us.

“God, Meyer.” The blood didn’t bother me. The drops of hot water flecking over my skin lit up my nerve endings as much as his fingers, his mouth, the rough pad of his tongue traveling my body like it was the first time he’d tasted me.

“Not me. You. This is all you.” He bit at my belly, then kissed up my stomach between my breasts to my lips again. “You know this entire time, I thought I had to save you?”

I ran my fingers through his hair as he pulled at my soaked leggings, the only thing besides the shirt Joshua had packed for me in the go bag, and threw them to the side. Here we were again, in the shower on the verge of a breakdown, but this time I was pulling him closer instead of pushing him away, embracing him instead of fighting. He hoisted me to my feet the second I was naked, lifting me over the short step leading into the shower and following me in still half-dressed.

“You’re the one who gave me a reason to live. Even before we met. You were the one thing keeping me going.”

He pushed me against the far wall at the same time that I reached for his pants, yanking at the button as if it had offended me. One of his hands wrapped around my neck, but he didn’t tightened his fingers; he held me as if I were something fragile that he wanted to protect.

“And now you saved me. I don’t know how to ever give that back.”

His jeans fell to the floor and he kicked out of them without letting go of me, and when he stepped within my reach again I grabbed his cock, stroking it the rest of the way to fully erect as we stared at each other.

“You don’t have to.” I ran my hand over the tip, earning me a shudder as his eyes flickered closed for a minute.

“Give me that cunt,” he muttered, almost to himself, and stepped closer as he lifted my leg to prop on the bench sitting at the back of the shower. He ran his fingers over my pussy lips slowly, reverently, before spreading them and running his index finger down my slit.

“It’s yours,” I breathed, suddenly barely able to focus on him.

“Don’t worry about me,” he said, and slid a finger inside. His thumb rubbed my clit gently, barely touching it, but enough to wake up nerve endings all over my body. “You’ve done enough. Lay your head back for me.”

He pushed on my neck again. I let my head lay back against the tile, and a moment later his lips began gently suckling on the soft skin of my throat as his finger began to wiggle inside me. I tensed, hand clenching around his length, and a soft moan escaped me.

“That’s it.” He pulled out his finger and started to rub me with his whole hand, the ridges of his fingers running over my clit faster and faster. I tried to hold on to my sanity, tried to remember that this was about him, not me, but when I opened my mouth to protest he simply kissed me so sweetly I couldn’t bear to pull away. “Let me have your pleasure, Maddie.”

“Okay,” I whimpered, and he chuckled low in his throat. It wasn’t quite a happy sound, but it gave me hope as I sank into his grasp. “You can take it.”

“I will,” he promised, and then put two fingers inside me. I gasped and quivered, and then when he inserted a third and pressed on my clit with his finger, I fell apart. I wailed loudly as he kissed my neck, murmuring words I couldn’t hear against my pulse point, holding me secure while water fell around us and I came down from my high. I sighed as he dropped my leg to the ground, but I got no time to recover as he spun me around and yanked me back against him. I looked over my shoulder as he sat on the small bench where he’d set my foot before. His dick stuck up from between his legs, inviting me to sit on it, and began to back up even before he grabbed my lips and lifted me up slightly, steadying me as I swung my legs to the outside of his so that I rested on his thighs. And then, with him guiding me, I sank smoothly onto his cock.

“Fuck,” I gasped, and fell forward into the stream of water, but he caught me with one hand around my waist, the other on my hip to guide me back up. Like this, I felt stretched in a whole new way, like I was barely able to hold myself together with him inside. His lips pressed against my back, between my shoulder blades, and then he opened his mouth to run his teeth over the ridges of my spine.

“You taste so sweet,” he said.

I stiffened. It wasn’t his fault his words were so close to what his father had said, but they still hit too close to home. But he felt my apprehension as easily as if it were his own, and the hand on my hip moved around my front, between my legs, and began to stroke my clit.

“Forget about it, baby. We’re safe now. We’re together. It’s really over.”

“Meyer…” I twisted in his arms, bringing my head back toward his so our lips could touch. But I couldn’t focus on the kiss, not with his fingers strumming me as he bounced me up and down on his lap. Sensation came at me from every angle. I couldn’t process it all. I simply became a slave to his fingers and his dick, the wet sounds our bodies made as they slapped together.

“Do you like that?” He changed directions on my clit, sending me writhing even harder.

I opened my mouth to answer, but no sound came out.

“I asked you a question.” He bit my earlobe, tugging the skin between his teeth. “Does it feel good, Maddie?”

“Y-yes,” I managed to stutter.

“Are you going to come for me again?” He bit my shoulder, ran his tongue up my neck.

“I think…”

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