Page 16 of Seize Me

“Tony…I…”

“Promise me, angel.”

“Okay, I promise.”I rolled my eyes.“Happy now?”

“Not even close.”He issued a low growl that sent a rush of heat straight south.

“Tony,” I exhaled on a deep sigh.“I’m not a child.I have a plan.I have money.I have a car.I definitely won’t be living under a bridge or digging through dumpsters.I’ll be fine.You’ve gone above and beyond the call of duty, and I thank you, but I need to go.”

“No, you’re not a child, and I have no doubt that eventually you’ll land on your feet.But I also know you’ve been through a hell of an emotional shock.You are going to crash, eventually.I don’t want you to be alone when you do.”

“If and when I crash, believe me, it will be much easier if I am alone.Honestly, I don’t want an audience when it comes time for me to bawl my eyes out.You’ve already seen enough of my tears.”

“You haven’t even tapped the surface yet, sweetheart,” Tony replied in a grim tone.

“Maybe not, but I’ll deal with it, okay?”He wore an expression of doubt.“Please, try to understand.It would be easy to use you…use all of my friends as crutches, but that would only prolong the inevitable.I want to deal with my grief in my own way.”

“I understand your need for independence, but before you go, we need to discuss what happened upstairs.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”I swallowed tightly, wishing he’d leave the whole sordid episode alone.There was no way I was going to stand there and dissect what had happened in the bathroom.“Like you said, it’s all normal stuff.”

“Yes, the need for comfort is, but I lost my head.”He scrubbed a hand over his face.“I’ve wanted you for so damn long, and there you were—in my house—naked and in my shower.I should have left you alone, but I couldn’t.It was either join you and try to give you the comfort you needed or put my fist through the wall.I never meant for my actions to add guilt to your grief.I’m sorry, angel.”

Stunned by his apology, I didn’t know what to say.Leaning in, I gave Tony an awkward hug before I tugged off his socks and tucked them into his hand.

“It’s okay.Look, I’ll call you when I’m settled,” I mumbled before dashing out the door and into the pouring rain.

He stood on the porch watching me.I heard him issue a curse as I slammed the driver’s side door.Thankful I had one piece of property Sloane and Hayden couldn’t take from me.George had registered the little red sports car in my name.Shoving my key into the ignition, the Mazda Miata purred to life, and I backed out of Tony’s driveway.

Headed toward George’s neighborhood, I intended to stop at the bank.He kept a healthy amount of cash available, and luckily, neither Sloane nor Hayden knew I had a debit card and full access to his account.That should have given me a sense of comfort, but unfortunately, I hadn’t relaxed a stitch since leaving Tony’s.

His masculine scent clung to the clothes he’d let me borrow.Images of his hard body and nimble fingers rolled in an endless loop through my brain.I needed to buy some new clothes… ones that didn’t induce 3-D color, Dolby surround sound visuals of Tony’s tantalizing dominance, his warm lips, insightful gaze, and thick, hard…dammit!I had to focus on something other than that man.

Pulling beneath the awning of the bank’s drive-thru, I waited for the automatic teller machine to process my transaction.My behavior with Tony had been appalling, yet I couldn’t erase one spectacular second I’d shared with him.Turning back to the teller machine, the simple withdraw was taking an unreasonably long time.I blinked at the message on the display.

Your transaction cannot be completed.The account is closed.Please select another option.

My heart thundered in my ears as my guts churned.“No!”I screamed.White hot rage surged.“I should have killed those fucking bitches when I had the chance.”

The ramifications of not having a dime to my name crashed through me like a

sledgehammer.With a piercing squeal of tires, I jettisoned from the bank, leaving a trail of smoking rubber in my wake.The road before me blurred as tears filled my eyes.Blinking, I eased off the accelerator and glanced at the parking lot of a strip mall, adjacent to the bank.Coming to a stop in a vacant corner of the lot, I shoved the gear shift into park as tears dripped from my cheeks.

Vacillating between rage, fear, and grief, a string of obscenities tore from my lips.And as my body shook with sobs, I leaned my head on the steering wheel and cried.

Misery over Sloane’s and Hayden’s cruel deeds morphed into anger at George for leaving me, that slid into guilt for my actions with Tony.It all eventually dipped into despair.I was destitute.

I sat in my car feeling sorry for myself and cried a long time.Spilling more tears than I imagined possible.The dark skies rolled overhead, matching my mood.Wiping my face on the sleeve of Tony’s shirt, it was pointless to sit there bawling like a child.I needed to get my shit together and figure out a plan of action.

Exiting the parking lot, I drove the city streets, unsure of a destination.Stubborn pride kept me from going back to Mika and Julianna’s house, and self-preservation stopped me from returning to Tony’s.Driving aimlessly for hours, I was lost in a daze of indecision.No money, no phone, no clothes, no home.Foolishly, I’d boasted to Tony I wouldn’t wind up under an overpass, scrounging through dumpsters.It seemed my words had come to bite me in the ass.

Sitting at a stop light, I glanced at my surroundings.Ironically, I was a few short blocks from Genesis, and I hadn’t a clue how I’d gotten there.Alarmed that I’d been so mentally out of it, I realized something must have drawn me to the club.Gazing down the street, the massive courthouse with its bronzed dome loomed in the distance.I wasn’t masochistic enough to drive past it, and when the light turned green, I pressed on the gas, ready to make my way into the turning lane and flee that part of town.Suddenly, my car began to chug and lurch.Looking down at the gas gauge, I cried out in panic.The tank was on empty.

“Can’t I get a break?Please?All I need is just one motherfucking break,” I screeched, limping my vehicle to the curb.Too pissed to cry, I wiggled my feet into the cold, damp heels I’d worn to George’s funeral.When I stepped out of the car and slammed the door, I snorted at my reflection in the window of a dry cleaner.Trevor would have a hay-day if he saw my current fashion statement: thermal shirt, baggy sweatpants, and black high heels.“Penthouse centerfold, here I come,” I hissed as I stomped down the sidewalk.

The cold rain burned my face, and the clothes Tony lent me were soaked in minutes.Tired, angry, cold, and numb, I made my way to the entrance of Genesis.When I tried turning the knob, I shook my head.It was locked.

“Of course, it’s fucking locked!Why would it be open?Oh, that would be too damn easy, wouldn’t it?Being locked out of my house, every fucking dime yanked from my fingertips, a car without any gas, ruined leather shoes, freezing my ass off in this son of a bitching rain!Why on earth did I even hope that the fucking door would be open?”Screaming at the portal, I gave it a swift kick that sent a ribbon of pain straight up my shin.

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