Page 93 of Arouse Me

“But all those people have jobs. Dylan and Nick can’t be away from their company for an indefinite amount of time, and I’m dying to know what Ian does for a living, but they’re not going to be able to stay forever, and neither are we.”

“Well, unfortunately until Davis is caught, you’re going to have to turn down any jobs that require you to travel.”

“I can’t do that,” I gasped.

Joshua raised his hands. “Think about it for a minute before you lose your cool. Okay?”

Dammit, why did he have to use that calm, soothing tone? Why did he always have to stay in such irritating control all the time? ‘I’m not a two-sided coin, little one. What you see is what you get.’ His words echoed in my brain. That was why.

“Yes, I understand. It wouldn’t be safe for me to go prancing all over the world with some deranged dipshitiot after me.”

Joshua laughed. “Exactly. But getting back to your original question, Dylan and Nick can work from the cabin, and if they have to go back to Chicago, then they’ll go. No one is being forced to stay at the cabin, Mellie, not even you. But they’re there because they want to be. They want to keep you safe.”

After taking a drink of water, he continued. “As for your curiosity about Ian, he used to be a cop, but now he does private investigations and bodyguards a few musicians, actors, and an occasional political candidate or two.”

“Seriously?” I blinked. “He looks like a banker or a stockbroker.”

Joshua laughed. “His unassuming guise is what makes him so successful. But don’t let him fool you. He can take a man three times his size down in seconds. Let’s just say you definitely want Ian on your side.”

“So, we’re all just going to hang out at the cabin until Davis is arrested? That’s the plan?”

“Yes, unless you have a better one?”

“No.” I frowned. “It just seems way over the top. I mean, I know he threatened to kill us, but don’t you think this is all a bit…excessive?”

Joshua sobered. “We’ve only known each other a short time, Mellie, but you mean a whole lot to me. I don’t want to lose another woman who’s touched my heart.”

His confession would normally have sent me zinging out the door like a supersonic jet, but there was no way to deny it; he’d touched my heart, too.

I heard my sister’s voice in my head. “It’s okay to let someone in. It’s okay to take a chance, because it’s so worth it. I could keel over and die tomorrow, but I’d go happy. I have these two incredible, wonderful men in my life who fill me full of all the things I’d been missing. The joy outweighs the risk by so much, it’s incomprehensible.”

The joy, completeness, and unconditional acceptance I’d found with Joshua in the short time I’d known him brought new meaning to Sanna’s words. I didn’t know what the crazy connection we shared meant, but it meant something. Maybe not love, but definitely something.

“You mean a lot to me too, Joshua.”

A contented smile settled over his face. “Look, I know things are a mess right now, but later when it’s all straightened out, do you think you might ever consider moving to Chicago?”

“To Chicago, or in with you?” I asked, watching his expression closely.

“To Chicago, first. The rest, we’ll take one day at a time and see what happens,” he clarified with a slight smile.

Four weeks ago, I would have responded adamantly, ‘No’. Although I was swimming in uncharted waters, Joshua suddenly didn’t seem an imposing shark—at least not at the moment. It was flattering, and a wee bit scary, he’d given conscious thought to a relationship with me. Sanna was dying for me to be closer to her. If I lived in the same city, we wouldn’t miss out on so much of each other’s lives. Besides, if I lived closer, maybe I could make up for running away from her like I did.

“Yes, I’ve thought about it a time or two. Sanna wants me to move. She’s made that crystal clear. After my last visit, I realize how much time I stole from the two of us.”

“Don’t. Don’t live with regrets.” He shook his head. “Learn the lessons life has to teach and do your best to move on.”

“Is that what you’ve done? After Veronica and Camille were taken from you?”

Joshua’s expression turned stony. I’d never brought up his wife or daughter before. I wasn’t sure if he was going to shut me out or open up. Honesty and communication had to be a two-way street if he wanted me to consider pulling up roots and moving to Chicago.

Joshua didn’t answer my question. He simply looked down at our empty plates, plucked up the check, then pulled out his wallet. Tossing some money on the table, he stood and extended his hand.

“We’ll talk in the car.”

Back on the road, he wrapped his hand in mine. The air felt heavy, and I swallowed tightly, worried I’d touched on a topic too painful for him to discuss.

“Veronica and I were high school sweethearts. She was an amazing woman, wife, sub, and mother. Aside from my parents, there wasn’t another person on the planet who encouraged me to follow my dreams the way she did. I won’t lie and say we had a perfect marriage—there is no such thing. Everyone has their ups and downs, but our ups surpassed our downs ninety percent of the time.”

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