Page 11 of His Alone

Chapter 5

Unfortunately, since the holiday party marked the start of the actual holidays, I didn’t see James for two weeks after our not-a-date. He was quick to assure me that he didn’t have plans with someone else or anything like that, but he did have to go out of town on business. His absence didn’t take him out of my thoughts though. I was thrilled when I realized the same was true in reverse.

We started texting the day after our kiss. After two days of messaging back and forth sporadically, we started having long conversations over the phone. It wasn’t exactly dating, but I did get to know him pretty well during the hours of conversations we had.

The further into the night we talked, the more intimate the conversations became. Neither of us ever outright brought up sex, but I couldn’t help but think about it. His voice got lower when he was tired and it made me wonder how he’d sound in bed together. It made me wonder where exactly he was as we spoke—what he was wearing.

It made me wonder a lot of things I was too scared to bring up.

Mostly though, I was hung up about the kiss. It was all I thought about during working hours, at least while I was doing the simple, mindless tasks I didn’t need to worry about screwing up. James brought it up a few times and it felt good to know I wasn’t the only one whose thoughts were plagued by it.

The new year couldn’t come fast enough.

When it finally did, it didn’t happen with a bang. I didn’t hear from him at all on the first, despite sending him several messages. There was no response on the morning of the second either. I went into work with a general feeling of unease, unable to stop myself from imagining a range of worst-case scenarios.

I couldn’t begin to describe the feeling of sheer relief when I found him waiting for me in the break room during my lunch.

“You’re back.”

“I am.”

I shuffled awkwardly on my feet, torn between the urges to question him and kiss him. Was either option appropriate? I knew kissing wasn’t—we were at work, after all.

James took the lead and stepped forward, wrapping his arms loosely around me for a gentle hug. I hugged him back, blushing when a few nurses came in and gave us a curious look. He released me with a sigh, then gestured for me to follow him into the hall.

Once we were in relative privacy, he said, “I’m sorry I didn’t respond to you yesterday. I had a few meetings in the morning and spent the rest of the day driving. I got back late.”

“That’s okay. I get it.”

His pager buzzed and he cursed, glancing down at it with a scowl before looking back up to me.

“Duty calls. But first… Will you go out with me this Friday?”

Part of me wanted to tease him and ask if this would be a real date, but I knew he needed to get back to work.

Instead of dragging it out, I smiled shyly and said, “I’d love to.”

“Good. Text me your address and I’ll pick you up at eight.”

“Sounds great.”

James smiled and I fought the urge to swoon. I watched him walk away until he disappeared from my view, smiling like an idiot for the next few hours.

* * *

The rest of the week felt like it moved at a glacial pace. James and I continued to talk in the evenings, but he seemed even more distracted than he had during his business trip. I was still glad to talk to him, though I wished he would have confided in me.

It was probably for the best that he didn’t. I was busy dealing with my own dilemma about our impending date and it continued all the way up to when I was waiting for him in the lobby of my apartment building.

After the company party, I told him I wasn’t ready to go home with him yet. At some point in the time we spent talking, my feelings had changed. I spent day and night running multiple ideas through my head of how to subtly tell him without making an ass out of myself like last time.

So, yeah. I was a little distracted myself.

As I waited for him to pick me up, I decided that I’d do my best to hide my nervousness and broach the subject closer to the end of the night. There was no point worrying about it through our first official date. I’d just play it by ear and try to chill in the meantime.

* * *

It worked in theory. In actuality? Not so much.

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