Page 125 of Falling for my Brother's Best Friend

Forty

Savannah

“I’m here to listen. Denver home?”

Liam looks horrible. His jacket’s long gone, his tie in his hand.

“No. We looked everywhere for you, and I decided to wait here. You’re lucky you’re alone.” I can’t lie and say I wasn’t worried he’d be drunk with some girl in his arms when he stumbled in. Maybe I’ve watched way too many movies.

“I almost wasn’t.”

I narrow my eyes at him. “Nice.”

“No.” He throws his keys on his table. “Dori. She was riding with the sheriff when they pulled me over. We were at your house looking for you. Nice wallpaper by the way.”

I smile. He might be the only person who appreciates that wallpaper, and it took me way too long to realize it’s because he misses my parents too. He’s more to my family than just my brothers’ best friend. “I have an extra roll if you want it.”

“That depends.” He sits on the far side of the couch from me. I wish he’d sat beside me.

“On what?”

“Whose house are we moving into?”

I laugh. I wish it was as easy as brushing our spat under the rug, but I need him to be certain of my feelings. “Maybe we can talk first?”

He releases a breath, but his eyes stay steady with mine. “I’m sorry. I overreacted.”

I climb over to him on my knees. “No, you didn’t. I shouldn’t have done what I did, and you wouldn’t have drawn the conclusion that I was doing it to try and make you something you aren’t if I hadn’t kept insisting our relationship be kept a secret. It was all so stupid to keep waiting. In my head, I just thought…” I stop because I was trying to make everyone happy rather than making the most important person in my life happy. How shitty is that?

“First of all, get up.” He pats his lap, which I’m really hoping means this isn’t a break-up conversation but a make-up conversation. I want it to be, but I’d never seen him so mad.

I climb into his lap and wrap my arms around his neck.

“I’ve been a selfish prick. I have to admit something before we even get into all that ‘I’m not good enough’ stuff. I tricked you into thinking I could pull out an old version of yourself just so I could spend five weeks with you.”

I smile. “It helped. I’m cured.”

“I think you just allowed yourself to come out.”

I straddle his legs because I need to look into his eyes so he believes me. “I had a lot of time to think in the dark because you must have been driving around all of Alaska before returning home. But I think the only reason I was happier was because you gave me a safe place to be myself. Sure, the bet was like permission to show sides of myself I had kept hidden for way too long. When we were within these walls, I felt safe and secure that I wouldn’t be judged. That’s because of you.” I point at his chest. “I think when you wanted to come out, I was scared. Scared that I’d disappoint you because when I walk around Lake Starlight, sometimes I feel like there’s this huge microscope above me and everyone’s examining everything I do.”

His face softens. “You can’t live like that.”

“I know. I know that now. When you drove off and I thought I’d lost you, I didn’t think of anything but how to get you back. It’s then that I realized the entire world wouldn’t fall apart if I started living for myself rather than everyone else.”

He smiles and leans forward, but I put my finger to his lips, and he shoots me a look to say touché. How many times has he done that exact move to me?

“I have more fear I want to put out there so you can refute it,” I say.

“Yeah?”

“I was scared you’d hurt me, but I know now you won’t. Someone who does what you did—take time to meditate and research ways to help someone find themselves again—isn’t going to disappoint me. You’re in this for the long haul, and I’m sorry for doubting you.”

He grips the sides of my head. “I feel the same. I’m sorry for doubting you. I should never have thought you were embarrassed of me. I guess I have to work on myself a little bit too.”

“I think it’ll help if we show one another how much the other means to us.”

“Can I show you right now?” He leans forward, but I put my finger to his lips again.

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