Page 58 of Free Fall

I waggled the bag of cooling burritos again, and her eyes dropped to the greasy paper in suspicion. “I won’t come in,” I assured the women. “There’s three burritos in here and a mini kid’s one for Leo.”

Zelda leaned over from behind Seren and snagged the bag, thrusting it into her friend’s chest. “Give me a minute,” she implored, and I watched them have a silent conversation with their eyes and the odd twitch of their mouths.

“Zel, you’re asking for trouble.”

Zelda looked pained. “Please. Leo’s nearly finished failing to get himself dressed… could you help him?”

Seren nodded, glared at me one last time, then disappeared into the house, cursing the ground on which I walked. I saw Avery dart between rooms, clad in only a pair of tiny purple briefs and black socks pulled up to his knees. Blinking that image away, I refocused on Zelda, who was staring at me with a guarded expression, hugging her body as she waited.

“What do you want? I asked fortime, Luca.” She leaned on the doorframe, huddled up from the early morning chill. Her feet were bare, her hair wet and her makeup half finished. “You can see Leo whenever, but it needs to be like, planned. You can’t bombard your way into his life like you do mine. He’s too special, precious.”

Her words threatened to hurt, a pain I needed to hold in until later, when I could drown in whiskey or find something to punch. “Can I walk him to pre-school today?”

Zelda took a deep breath, a slow, steadying suck of air as she contemplated my request. “It took a long time for me to trust Cole.”

“Cole isn’t his dad.” Though he’d lied for about five minutes that he was. It did nothing but fuck things up more.

“But he was there Luca, he proved himself.” Her arms uncrossed and her hand snaked up the door, like she was going to slam it in my face.

“Because of me, because I made him.”

Zelda’s expression fell a fraction. “Don’t do that.” She shook her head. “Don’t try to belittle what he did. Even if it was because of you. He still did it. And well. Leo loves him. He loves Leo.”

Anger boiled in me, but I squashed it down. She didn’t need that side of me, the side that wanted to force her into the house and fuck her refusal from her throat. But I was learning. The submissive woman I held underneath me when we fucked wasn’t the same as the mother, the secure woman working her ass off to provide for her family. They were two different sides of Zelda, and they deserved equal respect.

So I clenched my fists and resisted the urge. She watched my face close, her expression knowing. She saw right through me.

“Tell me something,” she said, voice softer as she stepped closer. “Answer a question and you can take Leo to school tomorrow. With Cole. But you have to talk to him, too. Heal, Luca.”

I nodded. “Okay.” Despite it making me want to hurt someone. Her, even. I could squash this defiance from her with a few choice words and touches. She smirked, no doubt seeing where my mind had gone again. For her to use Cole against me? She needed a spanking. “What’s the question?”

“When you saw me in that haunted maze, when you decided to have me, how long did it take?” She paused, ran her tongue over her teeth. “How long between realizing you could ruin your best friend’s daughter, and actually doing it? Between that first flicker of an idea to heaving me over your shoulder and carrying me to that room? I’ve always wondered if it was something that had been brewing, growing well beyond appropriate, or if it was spur-of-the-moment deviance on your part.”

That night was unplanned. Even when I’d seen her slipping into the building hosting the maze, I’d almost told her dad we needed to go somewhere else. But then yeah, fuck it, the idea had sparked. She was never supposed to know. Masks and darkness and overwhelmed senses were in my favor. Hell for honesty.

“About five seconds,” I admitted. “I saw you, recognized you when Henry failed to, and there it was. I never planned it. It just was.” Without thinking, I stepped close to her, crowding my body into hers, forcing her to look up as my warmth enveloped her. I didn’t touch her, though, and she didn’t back away. “From the second we both made up our minds to go to the same event, it was inevitable.” I breathed in her scent, the floral of her shampoo, the musk of her perfume. “I was never going to leave there without burrowing inside you first.”

We glared at each other, too close to be respectful. A conversation passed between us. Was it acceptance? I wasn’t wrong about the inevitability. Even now, the pull was like waves in the ocean, persistent and powerful. We remained quiet for long minutes, our bodies brushing together as we breathed, her tits grazing my torso. Her eyes didn’t waver. I saw no submission, only resilience, intelligence.

“Tomorrow. Cole.” Then she was gone, slamming the door in my face. I pulled my phone out as I started back down the street toward my car. Cole was still in the city, and Jesse was here now, too.

“You know you’re using us to get to your son, right?” Cole commented as we watched Leo bounce into the playroom of his pre-school, immediately surrounded by piles of other little kids as they swarmed the space. I winced when one of them shrieked, the sound piercing an eardrum, but turned to my eldest. Zelda had set me to thinking, and a fresh wave of guilt had developed in my gut.

I was a shitty father.

“You are my son,” I commented, a game we’d played before when he pushed my boundaries and I pretended I didn’t care.

Cole snorted. “Treat me like it then, motherfucker.” He gestured to Leo before turning to leave. “Important package deposited. I’m going.”

Fucking hell. Zelda’s disapproving face lingered in my mind. She’d made it clear fixing things with her wasn’t enough.

“Cole,” I called after him as he stalked his way down the street. He was a creepy-looking fucker, all dark clothes and brooding movements — I supposed it boded well for me that Leo liked him so much.

“Look, we’re both fuck ups—”

“Who’s fault is that?” Cole interrupted, spinning around to glare at me, his face red with rage. This was all so shit, the emotions, the relationship I’d got wrong time and time again. Cole had seen the worst of me, had lived with it as his father figure.

I wanted to shout, to punch him, to jump in front of a fucking car or break down on the cold sidewalk so he’d listen. Leo was safe at daycare. Jesse was busy advancing in his life. But Cole? He was still doing my bidding, paused to creep about for me.

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