Page 56 of Free Fall

Luca kissed my lips and stepped away, freeing me from his embrace. Moving backwards, he bit his lip, taking me all in as I stared after him, feeling like he was stealing away another piece of my heart. That broken, cracked chunk he’d stamped on before.

“Tonight, Zelda,” he said. “Give me until tonight.”

Seren looked up as I walked into the kitchen and slumped onto a stool with a frown and a dramatic sigh. “That bad, huh? He finish in record time, or did I miss a kink?” She glanced at the wall clock, frowning.

“Lucashowed up,” I said, and she gasped, dropping the glass she’d been drying with a dish towel. It shattered all over the floor, right near her feet, so I had her climb onto the counter while I tidied, still in my shoes. The silence between us was filled with anticipation, as she had a million questions ready to burst from her. She waited until she could see I was ready, let me get to cleaning the glass for a moment to let my three simple words settle into the room. I could still barely believe it. His audacity.

Seren was aghast, staring down at me with wide eyes, her legs tucked underneath her body as she watched me, her ass resting beside the fruit bowl. “I cannot even comprehend that, babe. Tell me everything.”

“Well,” I said, sweeping up the shards. “I was down to my undies with Brendan when the demon from my past barged in and beat the shit out of the poor man!”

“Holy shit.”

“Holy shit what?” Avery asked, strolling in with Leo on his hip. He took one glance at the chaos and moved to help, but I stopped him with a hand gesture. He had the baby, after all. I could handle a bit of broken glass.

“Luca showed up. They fucked,” Seren said, pointing like she was accusing me of a crime.

My head flew up, locking with her wide gaze. Avery remained at the edge of the room, eyes darting between the two of us while Leo played with the zip on his hoodie. “How do you know we fucked?” I blurted, shocked.

She cackled. “Even though you’re about to explode with stress, you still look chilled. You either had an insane orgasm or you got high. And you don’t have red eyes, so…”

“My eyesarered. From crying…”

Avery blew out a breath and sank onto the stool I’d just been on, plonking Leo on the counter with Seren, who scooped him up on instinct, settling him onto her thigh. “When Cole dropped Leo off a bit ago, he looked all… worked up. He wouldn’t say why, though.”

“I’m surprised he didn’t blab everything to you,” Seren snorted. Cole and Avery had a… strange relationship. Cole stared at Avery a lot.

Avery’s cheeks were pink when I stood up from the floor and dumped the shattered glass in the trash. “He for sure didn’t tell me his dad was in town,” Avery said, brushing off our jibes like he always did.

“What are you going to do?” Seren asked as I moved to the cupboard to grab the vacuum cleaner.

I snorted, turning to face her. “I was hoping you could tell me that. I, for one, am stumped.” My brain couldn’t figure out any correct course with him. We didn’t have the sneaking around to hide behind anymore. There was no risk of being caught and having our lives ruined, we’d already managed that. My dad loved Leo, but he never looked at me the same. Not really. My actions had taken a lot from him. His best friend, his business partner. The traditions and vacations they shared. All gone because I’d been incapable of keeping it in my pants. Because Luca couldn’t stay away.

“Fucked really, you’re fucked. You fucked,” Seren said, smiling, her eyes softening as she saw my anguish leaking through. Her hatred for Luca ran deeper than Avery’s, but she still knew he made something in me settle, she’d once called us inevitable, said we must stay apart because as soon as we were in each other’s orbits, it would be over for anyone else.

“Alright, Seren,” I joked. “Hammer it home, why don’t you? There is a child present.”

Seren pretended to cover Leo’s ears, making him laugh and try to do the same back at her. “Like you care,” she responded as she chuckled and dodged his chubby fingers. I watched them, happy Leo had so many amazing adults in his life. We’d done all this without Luca. Where did he fit in now? We didn’t need him to.

“I didn’t sleep with him, there was just some… digit action,” I told Seren and Avery, who waited for more, faces encouraging, a mix of curiosity and resignation. “In the car. After we got kicked out of the club.” Embarrassment rippled through me at that confession, so I pushed the vacuum cleaner at Avery and fled, turning on my heel and running to the bathroom.

They were both laughing as I did, not pushing me for anything else, just shouting light-hearted jibes. There was so much to think about, not least the insane orgasm he’d wrestled out of me with one hard-working hand. I was always done for that man.

“You’re going to get in so much trouble!” Seren yelled after me, chuckling when I slammed the door to the bathroom. I needed a fucking shower.

Luca knocked on the front door a few hours later, as we were wrapping up an easy dinner. Leo was already in bed. We’d shared a bath then snuggled with a book until his little eyes wouldn’t stay open anymore. He told me about all the pebbles he found on his walk with Cole, telling me he sprinkled them on our lawn before coming into the house. Something to remember for the next time I mowed the lawn, so they didn’t kick up and shatter a window.

Leo and I had created a good life for ourselves, with Seren and Avery at our sides, propping us up. They loved him so much, I saw it in every interaction. I couldn’t help the guilt, though, the responsibility they had for a child that wasn’t even their own. It was harder than we’d imagined, and they took their time away whenever it got too much — let me do the same — but it wouldn’t last, couldn’t. They deserved their own lives away from us.

It was with this thought that I opened the door to Luca, stepping aside to welcome him into my home. The surrounding air sucked away into some random fucking abyss, and he was all I could see. Consuming.

He dipped his head in hello, brushed his fingertips down my arm, before looking around, studying our space. Signs of Leo’s life were everywhere. In the dinky sneakers by the door, the pile of toys at the bottom of the stairs and the pictures of his aging, from pink faced baby on my chest a few hours old, to a more recent one with him and Seren on a paddle boat at the park.

Luca studied everything, soaking in Leo’s home. I sighed and walked to the living room, assuming he’d follow.

“Speak, then, Luca,” I said, sinking onto the sofa, not offering him a drink as he sat beside me, keeping a distance that surprised me. I half expected him to use his weight on me again, squash me against his body.

He leaned forward instead, resting his elbows on his thighs as he looked at me sideways, his hair falling in strands around his face, making it difficult to see all of him. That draw to him tugged on me, made me want to close the space between us. But he needed to speak. And I had to resist what I didn’t want to happen.

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