Page 70 of Free Fall

She leaned across the small space between us and jabbed my side. I tried to jump away and failed, my hip bumping into the counter with a sharp sting. Something I still struggled with was accountability in our little group. My actions affected them, like theirs did me. But they’d never done anything to rock any of our boats. Guilt ate at my stomach, but I squashed it. Deep.

“You fucked him!” Seren shrieked.

“Twice!” I shouted, then winced, an inappropriate giggle bubbling up in my throat.

Avery chuckled, resigned. “Caught them buck ass naked when Leo dived onto Zelda’s bed this morning.” He paused for dramatic effect. “Definitely saw the elephant trunk swinging between the man’s legs.”

“Avery!” I admonished, but I couldn’t hold in the laugh, especially when Seren snorted, the tension breaking just a touch. Shit. How I got myself back into this mess I’d never know.

“You are so screwed,” she told me, shaking her head and turning to load the dishwasher. I took the opportunity to grab another cup of coffee, positioning myself to watch as Leo led Luca around the yard. He was showing him the pond we’d made in the hopes some frogs would move in. Avery and I were this close to buying tadpoles online so he’d stop harping on about it. Though then it’d be a whole different bucket of chaos — I just knew I’d be finding little froggies all over the house when Leo brought them in for whatever reason.

“You are, aren’t you?” Avery asked, tucking me into his armpit for a side hug. “Absolutely fucked, I mean.”

“Yeah,” I whispered, not able to tear my gaze away from the father and son who looked so much alike. I always saw Cole and Jesse in Leo, but seeing him beside his dad, Luca’s genes were strong. Bastard. “I don’t know what’s going to happen now, but what’s holding us back now?”

“How will your dad feel?” Avery asked, kissing the top of my head and getting right to the crux of the thing I’d played great ignorance to. I hadn’t let my family enter into my mind since Luca had burst back into my life. I couldn’t. There was no way my dad would be able to get over it, and my mother would agree. Jules, I didn’t know. She was off at college having the time of her life, family drama wouldn’t affect her for the moment. She was safe in her college-haze. Like I’d been three years ago when this all kicked off.

“He’ll despise it, of course,” I said, trying to picture his expression if I told him Luca was back, that he was important to me and that we were giving it a real, healthy go. My dad had felt so damn betrayed, so hurt. It had taken a long time for him to move past it. He still ran their old company, but he’d reduced it in size and dropped all the projects they’d been working on, going for a fresh start that often made him seem sadder than just continuing on would have. He burned a lot of bridges and blamed Luca for every single ember. “I think he’ll hate me for it. I think he kind of always has. It’s not like I was a naïve teenager. I was as involved in the mess as Luca was.”

“You weren’t the married forty-something going after his best friend’s daughter, Zel,” Seren said, her voice growing serious. She chose to gaze out of the window at Luca, rather than at me, as she spoke. “You were both adults, but there was a power imbalance, babe. Probably still is. He’s wealthier, has grown-ass kids, twenty-some years of maturity on you… not that he knew how to use it three years ago.”

Three years ago I’d been just as desperate for it as he was. I’d relished in the sneaking around and the push and pull, the darkness of it all. It was unfair to pile all the blame on him.

There was a power imbalance, sure. But I was finding in this new iteration of us that it was only during sex, and it was something I wanted. I craved the exchange, the submission. He always kept me safe, reminded me to use my words. I never felt anything like I did when he was controlling me, guiding my strings, as it were. It took mere moments for me to sink back into him when he reappeared. I didn’t even realize I was doing it at the time, that sinking, but I had no intention of running from it anymore. Despite all the fuck ups and the pain we’d caused, nothing was ever more right than him beside me.

I nodded to my friends, letting them know I was taking everything they said in, but it wouldn’t change my mind. I leaned my entire body into Avery and let myself soak up his comforting warmth. Seren joined us once the dishes were loaded, squeezing us tight for just a second.

There was an air of change between us, that tension when something big was about to happen. I held onto my friends, my lifelines, and allowed myself to lean on their strength yet again.

Through the window, Luca scooped Leo onto his shoulders and charged toward the back of the yard, only to turn and run all the way to the top again, a wide smile on his face and his hair in chaos where Leo had tugged it. Leo was shrieking with enough joy that it would wake the neighborhood in this still early hour, but I didn’t care. The neighbors were young like us, but lacked a kid to stop them deciding a 3am EDM rave is a good idea.

We were going to make this work. We would figure it all out. If Dad never came round, it would be two halves of my life that never touched, but I couldn’t abandon either one. I had a lot of amends to make for my decisions back then, for not holding back and for letting myself get carried away. Not just to Dad, for ruining his life’s plans, but to my mother for taking away her best friend, to Jules for splitting up her family. Seren and Avery, too, for allowing them to plan their lives around me, for not stopping them stepping up and helping to raise my baby.

Cole and Jesse were something to tackle with Luca, and I had no idea how to fix it. When Luca turned his attention to me, their family was already broken.

All in, I had a lot of work to do.

It was three weeks later when Luca invited me beyond the front studio of the club again. I’d maintained the professional boundary at work, teaching the kids in the beautiful, modern building, not seeking Luca out.

We still saw each other every day, either at his hotel — soon-to-be apartment he’d bought and was waiting to finalize — or at my place, under the watchful eyes of my friends. We sometimes met at lunch or at Leo’s pick up to take him to the park or for ice cream, but we kept indoors for the most part as the cold weather drew in. Life was busy, we both had a lot on our plate, but we still found time in those quiet midnight hours or early mornings, before being interrupted by Leo with a shriek and a crash.

I wanted nothing to change. But it did, when Luca met me at the front doors of the studio as I was leaving, having just popped in from the smaller building to gather my things.

“It’s all finished,” he said, grinning. He looked so handsome in his work attire. Suit pants, a button down and fancy shoes, his hair pulled back in a messy bun at the nape of his neck. His tattoos peeked out from the fabric, and I found my gaze lingering on where his pants bulged a little at his crotch. Fuck, he was sexy.

I made sure we were alone before striding to him and falling into his open embrace. “Congratulations,” I muttered into his chest, sighing at his warmth as his hands ran up and down my back. Truth was, I wasn’t positive what beingfinishedentailed here. He’d kept things pretty secretive despite me spending three days a week here.

“You need to come see.”

He took my hand and guided me through the lobby, past the stairs. It didn’t seem much different to the last time I’d been here, but then I hadn’t seen this part. This was the main club he was keeping hidden from me, the area that would burst to life at night, and he’d told me it would be special. The studios at the front and upstairs were for practice, for learning, this was for showing off.

I grinned at the sight before me when he pushed us through the double doors. It was stunning. All moody and deep jewel tones, plush fabrics and heavy curtains, a bar that looked like it was glowing. When the lights were low and the space was full of people, it would be even more effective. I could just imagine all the flirting, dancing, and laughter that awaited the venue.

And best of all, a circular platform sat right in the center, with bars across the ceiling and hooks for ribbons and hoops. Another stage was against the furthest wall, with two poles reaching high. My chest squeezed. It was everything I imagined a club like this needed. Luca stayed back when I took a step forward, waiting for me to soak it all in.

Despite the seedy by nature theme, it was beautiful, classy, even. “You did all this? You built an aerial stripping club? That’s bonkers. Insane, Luca.”

“Mm,” he said with a nod, letting my hand drop when I started to walk toward the center stage. It was wild. The place I worked at had the ribbon at my request, but I had to fit it and maintain the setup myself, and I couldn’t do everything I wanted to on a platform with the pole. “I researched, hired experts, everyone I needed. It’s going to be a success.”

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