Page 69 of Free Fall

With a light-hearted growl, I lifted him high, his limbs flailing as he balanced above us, grinning and dribbling and speaking fucking gibberish. “We’re flying now!” I yelled, hopping out of the bed and propelling him across the room, dick swinging free.

“Fuck, my eyes,” Avery grumbled, turning and leaning into the wall, mumbling something to himself before leaving. Ah, I’d forgotten about our audience. Zelda laughed louder, almost cackling as she slipped from the bed, maneuvering the sheet around herself.

She took Leo from me, kissed me on the cheek, then turned the boy away from the sight of my naked body, padding from the room with chats of breakfast. It felt like she was taking my heart with her, even though they were just down the hall. How had I managed three years without this?

But even as I had that thought, I knew it was a stupid one. The man who Zelda walked away from was not the man I’d worked hard to be now. He was a selfish bastard, cold and unfeeling, taking from whoever and not caring how it affected them. I was trying to shake him off, to breathe through the jealousy and possessiveness and not let it consume me. Most of the time, it worked.

I dressed fast, but took a minute for myself, sitting on the edge of the bed to consider my options. It was 6am; I had ninety minutes until I needed to leave to get to the club. Franco had sent me a barrage of irritated text messages about things I’d neglected or he had to cancel because of my ‘time with the grumpy chick’. Working without Henry fucking blew, but construction was what I was good at, what I had skill in. It’s how I made money I could give to Zelda and Leo. Make their lives perfect. Franco was a dickhead, but he meant well, keeping me on track. I’d lacked that in the absence of Henry. He was my guide, my steadying force. Hell, I missed that man.

Zelda and Leo whispered and giggled from down the hall, their voices carrying despite her attempts to hush him.

An almighty groan and the scraping of feet sounded from the hall, and I saw Seren shuffle past and into the bathroom, her hair stuck up like a scarecrow. She didn’t look at me, and I felt a spurt of amusement at how oblivious she was. No doubt when she realized I was still here, she’d have some choice words. Watching the house come to life warmed me, surrounded by people and busy lives, catching snippets of conversations or tripping over piles of laundry… I scratched my eyebrows and stood, shaking off the woe-is-me shit.

Seren and Avery had been fantastic to Zelda, to Luca. They’d given them a home, support and comfort. But it couldn’t work like this forever. They needed space, needed to be away from the child that wasn’t biologically theirs. What twenty-six-year-old wanted waking up by a toddler that wasn’t their son or daughter? I know Zelda saw it too. She loved them both, but the guilt was bothering her.

It was time for a change.

I took a moment to send some text messages out before leaving for the kitchen, sitting on the side of Zelda’s unmade bed with the chorus of life a low level hum. Three very important messages that I hoped would start the bridge building, kick off the next stage of our lives without the anger and pain.

“Pancakes good?” Zelda asked as I stepped into the kitchen. She handed me a coffee and directed me to sit at the breakfast bar. Leo was sitting on the counter, his preferred spot, shaking the container of pancake mix with a gleeful expression. Zelda remained patient as she pottered around him, turning on the stove, pulling out toppings. I couldn’t stop staring. Love for both of them washed through me, and, again, I had to take a breath to stop from just taking them for myself.

“Perfect,” I agreed with a nod, squashing down the deviant urge. I would have eaten dog shit covered snot if I could have it served up by these flawless beings.

Breakfast came and went, with two dragging side-eyes from two very protective friends, and a lot of mess and screeching from the kid. Seren and Avery remained in the kitchen, shoulder to shoulder, staring at me, just like last time. They’d seen the devastation where I hadn’t. They witnessed what I’d caused while Zelda hid from me. Their suspicion was understandable. I wanted it to fuck off, but I understood it.

“I’m going to need to hose you off before pre-school!” Zelda laughed at Leo, wiping the chocolate syrup from his chin. He grinned at her so wide, like he was proud of his mucky ways. He wouldn’t stop being sticky for at least three more years.

“I want my boots on!” he yelled in her face, and she didn’t even wince.

Zelda nodded. “They’re still in the yard from when we made that mini pond. If you wait a minute, I’ll go get ‘em. But you gotta say please, remember?”

“Polite words, little alien,” Seren interjected, patting him on the head when he bounced by.

“Please Mamma, can I get my boots from the yard?”

I watched them in fascination again, fucking needing this.

“I’ll help him,” I said, hopping up. The top of Luca’s little head was the only bit of him visible over the table, but I noted his movements slowed. “If that’s okay?”

Zelda’s eyes looked emotional when she nodded and mashed her lips together. Seren’s and Avery’s expressions remained stone cold. My girl needed a minute with her friends to vent, to blurt out everything that had happened last night and pick it apart in hushed whispers. I could keep Leo occupied out here for as long as they required.

He held his tiny hands up for me to scoop him into my arms, not waiting while I shoved my feet into my shoes. It was awkward, but I’d done it before with two boys climbing over me, so one was a breeze. He jabbered away as we stepped out into the yard, and I couldn’t help but squeeze him tight.

Thirty Eight

Zelda

“ZeldaSummers!”Serenscoldedme the second the boys were out in the yard, expression fierce and finger pointed. I winced and tried to plaster a smile on my face, but she saw right through it, her eyes narrowing until I dropped into a look of suitable shame.

Yeah, I’d fucked the man. Was it any surprise? Seren cared about me, so I couldn’t blame her. She’d had to put me back together last time, she shouldn’t have to do it again. Actual shame warred in my stomach, battling the contentment I felt there, too.

Seren and Avery looked at me with such a deep-rooted suspicion it almost hurt. The idea of upsetting them, of rocking our boat? I hated it.

I could see Luca and Leo in the yard, chattering away and bouncing around like they’d known each other forever. No way was I going to tell the two stern faces glaring at me for an explanation that Luca had been there since Leo’s birth. Looming in the shadows. Avery and Seren were struggling to forgive me for moving ahead with him, that was clear, and they had no intention of forgiving him at all. They never would if they understood how deceptive he’d been this entire time.

Not just absent, but like, actively absent. Watching rather than engaging. I really tried to make myself care about it, but I knew the bastard too well, sneaky was his love language at this point. I’d tell them… one day. When he’d healed all wounds. When I felt no more twinges of shame and guilt for falling into his embrace so fast.

“What?” I snapped back at my friends when they didn’t stop glaring, though there was no malice in my voice. Seren didn’t look angry with me, only shocked and maybe a little pissed. My mind scrambled for an answer, a way of talking myself out of it. But then I just… didn’t. I shrugged instead, pulled a face.

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