Page 27 of Free Fall

“No, I won’t do either of those things.” He paused, watching the grief wash over me. It wasn’t a surprise, but it still hurt. “Not yet, anyway. Give me time.”

That little burst of hope reignited, and I watched him close as he sat his ass up, leaning his spine against the dark blue headboard. It was a coarse fabric, fraying and patched up in places. In the light of day, this place appeared even more of a dump. The carpet was stained, the wallpaper peeling. It was no wonder Luca thought he’d be able to kick the door in. It looked like a high note would have it shattering.What had I been thinking?

“Sit on my lap,” he said, patting his thigh. I could see his erection growing through the sheet. I studied him for a moment. His hair was down, brushing against his shoulders. The tattoos on his arms and chest were visible. His beard was a little longer, like he’d missed a shave. It was usually a bit above stubble, thick but short.

I shouldn’t know how that stubble tickled across my thighs. He was huge, with a beefiness that was amazing to sink into. I shouldn’t know that. I shouldn’t know how his tongue rasped against mine, or how his cock stretched me, buried deep in my body. Shouldn’t know how he sounds when he comes or how he looks at me while I do.

I lost the brief war with myself, and when he patted his thigh again, I climbed on. Wrapping my legs around his hips, I sank right onto his waiting erection. No words. The stretch and warmth made us both groan, and as I lazily fucked myself on him, we welcomed in that immoral pleasure, free falling into its depths.

Later, after lying side by side in the buff to text those we needed to with a shared excuse about hiking for the morning, we checked out of the motel and went shopping. We both had to explain our overnight absence, too, but that was a personal problem, not a joint one. Luca could figure it the hell out with Alison later. My parents would have questions, but would let it go. Jules might linger until she was satisfied, but fuck it.

We both needed more time, Luca and I. We weren’t ready to go back to the real world of wives and fathers. It was risky, but it wasn’t unheard of for Luca and I to do things alone on vacation. We were the only ones interested in museums, for example, so often hunted them out by ourselves with no qualms from anyone.

Luca bought me a new pair of walking boots to save going to the resort for mine. Along with a bikini and some shorts to prevent the chub rub and replace the stretched-out dress I’d had to hold up. Then we left the small town, striding away from our problems for the morning, without so much as a backwards glance.

But we needed it. I needed it. So we existed in this state where we ignored our history, our families and how twisted everything was at our backs, and we walked along the quiet trail. Luca held my hand as we traversed the narrow paths, squeezing his warm palm to mine. I still sensed it. Attached to this man I shouldn’t be. I was sinking too deep, willing to look past too much. The indiscretion, the pain and impending doom when we got found out. There was a war coming for us, an explosion. We were toying with so many lives and emotions. Luca kissed my knuckle as we reached the waterfall, tugging me beside him to see the view, and I just didn’t care. About the lives we were ruining, about the ripple effect our actions would have.

The man beside me was attuned to me, and I felt like his. His puppet. His toy. His possession. Nothing and no one had ever made me want that, but with him, it was as easy as sinking.

He stepped toward the pool at the bottom of the waterfall, pulling his shirt over his head. And I wasn't concerned about anything else but him.

Fourteen

Luca

Thehousewascold.And not only because we were returning to it, unlived in for ten days with drawn curtains and dust settled, no, the inhabitants stepping foot over the threshold were just as sour, as distant and icy. Alison and I moved inside and both our moods plummeted further than they already had over the long journey home.

Flight delays, lost baggage, issues with transfers… everything that might have gone wrong, did. And Alison had remained shitty with me the entire time.

Bitching and shivering, she thundered down the hall toward the laundry room, dragging her suitcase wheels into the oak floors. She knew something was up, and she’d picked at me non-stop when I refused to confess to any wrongdoing. We were falling apart and having to act like we weren’t in front of our friends had solidified it for me. I wanted nothing to do with her beyond co-parenting our grown ass kids.

After spending the morning at the waterfall with Zelda, after waking up with her curled up in my arms… taking care of her in the shower, telling her I’d figure everything out… I couldn’t go back to pretending to be doting husband for the sake of Henry and Delilah’s eyes. Cole and Jesse knew we were done, and neither gave a shit. It was a show. A lie. One I was more than ready to be done with.

In all the times I messed about with other people, I never thought I was betraying Alison. There was no guilt. We’d struck a deal. Even though I stretched its limits, it didn’t feel like cheating. I just didn’t care enough. But now, touching Ali, portraying fake affection, even sleeping in the same fucking bed as her. Well, it made me feel unfaithful to Zelda. How fucking insane. I needed a whiskey. Or a lobotomy. Both, one at a time, then a dunk in an acid bath would sort me out.

After the waterfall, when we hiked back to the resort in time for lunch, we agreed to distance. To figure our shit out, to get any lingering suspicion off our backs. Neither of us had any good reason for being away overnight, so we gave a semi-truth. After the debacle at the club, I’d run into her and we stayed the night in town, in separate rooms, for me to cool off and so she could get the space she wanted from her sister. But she was safe with me. Henry trusted me with her, considered us family. Never once would have crossed his mind that I was having my way with her. He thanked me for keeping her safe and I felt like the worst asshole on the planet. But then I saw how Zelda’s cheeks flushed at the lie, and I didn’t care again.

The house was silent. I stood at the bottom of the stairs, looking around for the signs of a well lived in family home. Cole and Jesse were already in their dorms, not wanting another second in the presence of their high-tension parents, so it was only Ali and me to fill the space. She continued crashing about with her luggage, increasing the pressure in the atmosphere, like a balloon about to pop.

I wandered through to the kitchen and started up the coffee machine, listening to her crash around in the small room on the other side of the door, slamming everything and muttering to herself, loud enough that I heard every word. She wasn’t stupid. At one point, I thought she was the most amazing woman I’d ever met, full of intelligence, humor and spice… that had all faded away as the years dragged on. Now our marriage was a union filled with resentment and snide comments. She tried, we both had, to rekindle what we lost, forcing it like on vacation or having screaming matches about how much it was the other person’s fault. But nothing changed. Our marriage crumbled. And I didn't really give a damn anymore.

“What are you thinking about all furrowed brow like that?” Ali asked, coming into the room with an empty laundry detergent box and a glare. I softened my face with intention and shrugged, hiding the scowl I actually had for her. She scoffed. “One of your whores? You off to the next dirty club to fuck around outside our marriage already?”

My hackles rose, and I straightened up, eyes narrowing. “Don’t fucking start, Ali. We’ve been home all of five minutes.”

She dropped the detergent box into the trash and slammed her hands onto her hips, frowning at me with fire behind her pupils. It was impressive she could maintain this level of pissed off for an entire damn day of travel. I’d give up. “I know what you’re doing,” she accused, waggling a finger at me. From across the kitchen, it had minimal effect. “You were fucking someone on that island.”

My jaw tensed up, and I wanted to leave this conversation behind, it was just so damn exhausting. “We made an agreement, Al. Don’t act like I’ve stepped out without your consent.”

“Sex clubs only, Luca.”

“It was at a sex club, Alison,” I spat back, standing taller as I prepared to get the fuck out.

Her expression was stony as she pursed her lips and roamed her gaze over all of me. Looking over my body, narrowing her eyes at my hair, loose and messy, my beard, too long. My scowl, deep. “I don’t want to do this anymore,” she said after her perusal. “No more agreement.”

Nah.

Something in me snapped, and I strode around the small kitchen island, shoving her body in the wall beside the door, cupping her jaw and squeezing just a fraction. She squeaked, her eyes going wide. “So you’ll let me fuck you like this? Tie you up? Drive my cock into your ass while you beg for mercy?”

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