Page 11 of Free Fall

Avoiding Luca had been hard enough through Christmas. I dodged him as best I could since the incident at the office when I’d lost my mind for a moment. I was never alone with him, only in large groups on purpose. But it was catching up with me, it was exhausting, and my mother knew something was up. I was jumpy, skittish, tense. In a weird version of hell.

Mom and Dad suspected Cole was the cause of my mood since the barbeque pool incident, but I denied it. They let it go, but only just. I laughed at the fact that they were probably talking about it behind my back, conferring with their besties, one of whom was the actual cause of all my pain.

Luca was across the lobby, at a vending machine with Cole and Jesse, stacking cheap cardboard cups of coffee into their hands while he worked the machine. We all needed the caffeinated fuel after Dad had us up and at the airport hours before we had to be. Jules kept dozing off beside me, and we were all in competition for the biggest yawn.

The gate lounge was getting busier as take off crept closer, but there were still plenty of empty seats around us.

“Talk to me, Zel,” Mom said, leaning over to yank my earbud from my ear. Alison sat next to her, in the chair opposite me, facing away from the Diaz men. “What’s with the angry glaring all the time?”

I looked between her and Ali, unsure how to answer. A singer kept on raging in one ear, but with great reluctance, I paused the song.

“No angry glare,” I grumbled.

“What’s wrong?”

Rapid fire, I spat back, “I’m fine.”

Mom frowned, a look I was so familiar with it was almost a comfort. Even at twenty-two, she could push me back into that teenage mindset. “More than that, and you know it. Don’t play like that.”

“Mom, I’m fine,” I repeated, trying not to roll my eyes like a petulant child. “Tired.” Truth was, she was seeing right through my discomfort. A huge part of me was still tempted to bow out, to act sick or like I had explosive diarrhea or something. But every time I came close, I thought of Luca ruining another thing for me and I stopped.

“Weeks of tired,” she retorted, though her eyebrows stayed drawn together in worry. She was a good mom, a little distant since I became an adult, but I knew she cared.

“Yeah, weeks of tired. I’ve been working harder at school, not sleeping so well, it’s fine.”

“Why haven’t you slept at home? Used your pills?” Mom’s querying all came with a side of Ali’s gaze jumping between us. Nosy bitch. With a wince, I chastised myself for being a dick. Ali was doing nothing wrong. Shit, I was twisted.

I hadn’t been able to face my childhood bedroom, the bed Luca had fucked me in. I’d slept in it last night on my dad’s insistence, but ended up making a nest on the floor halfway through my restless sleep because I couldn’t get Luca out of my head. The view of the ceiling above, with its familiar pattern, took me back to the night he’d had his way with me again, it was useless.

“I’ve just been working late. At the library. At the studio. It’s nothing, Mom, I promise.” My eyes darted to Luca again, who was on his way over, most of the coffees balanced in his son’s hands as he sipped his own. He winced at the bitterness and frowned, turning around. I watched him grab a fistful of sugar packets before I looked back at my mother and her bestie, who were both watching me with open worry.

“I don’t believe you,” Mom said, pursing her lips.

“Neither do I,” Alison added.

“Well, it’s none of your business, is it?” I snapped, feeling a self-hatred settle over me. I’d fucked her husband, after all. The consent had been dubious, but it had been there. I wonder if he was still having sex with her? If he owned her body like he did mine? Did he stretch her, cover her in his cum, and lick it off? I hated the thought of that. The wash of guilt turned into jealousy. Rage.

“Zel!” Mom almost shouted, returning me to the conversation with a snap. Shit. She looked like she’d just tried to tell me off.

“Sorry,” I murmured to both of them, giving my head a shake. “I’ll be right back.” I stood up, making Jules snort and wake up with a grumble when I jostled her.

Mom handed me my earbud when I thrust my hand out to her, but her look told me this wasn’t over.

“We will be talking again when we’re in Hawaii, Zelda,” she said with a raised voice as I marched away. Screw this.

After a quick piss and splash of water on my face, I gave myself a shake and headed to the gate. Our flight had been called a few minutes ago, and I just knew my dad would be fussing about me not being there in the very front of the line with them.

Reaching for my phone to let him know I’d only be seconds, I didn’t notice the oaf of a man in my way until I smashed into his chest. With a squeak, I bounced off of him and tried to dodge his massive form, but he shoved me into the disabled toilets next to us and locked the door.

“What the hell, Luca!” I shouted, smacking him in that boarish chest when he threw me against the wall.

“What do you think you're doing?” he snarled, his eyes darting over my face like he could read my mind through my fucking nostrils. “You look like shit.”

I whacked him again, not as hard now that I knew it was him — how fucked was that — and replied, “Just trying to live and ignore the poltergeist messing with my head at night.”

He grinned. “You talking about me? Give me more credit. It’s not just at night I’m willing to mess with you.”

“I’ve been avoiding my entire family because of you,” I told him, wriggling against his hold.

---