Page 35 of Letting You Go

He drifted off to sleep quickly, but I lay there wide awake, worrying about what had just happened.

Jackson

I lay in bed, my arms crossed behind my head. Last night had been the best sex and the best sleep I’d had in five years, and I regretted absolutely nothing.

Staring up at the ceiling, I wondered what sort of complications I would face in the morning when Bailey woke up. I’d woken in the middle of the night, thinking it had all been a dream, and when I found her in my arms, I silently thanked God.

Almost as if someone commanded it, my cock instantly hardened, just like it used to when we were together. I couldn’t help myself. She was gorgeous as she lay there, her body wrapped around me just like before. I lay there, watching her sleep until I could no longer take it. My body was on fire as I woke her, and we’d made love for the second time that night, the third not falling far behind at just a little after five this morning. With her I was completely insatiable, and I had woken a bit ago with my hard cock pressed firmly against her ass.

I’d pulled her tighter to me, kissing the spot where her neck and shoulder met. The soft moan she let out was my undoing. In a matter of minutes, I’d slid myself into her once again and fucked her until she had screamed out my name again. Now she lay beside me, totally spent, drifting in and out of sleep while I lay here, wide awake, fearing what would happen once she realized what we’d done.

Would she be full of regret and want to leave immediately? Would she be angry at me for putting her in this position? I did not know how she was going to handle this, but I was trying to prepare myself for the worst. I was afraid that her reaction would shatter my heart once again into a million little pieces, just like she’d done before.

I closed my eyes and relaxed on the mattress, trying to calm myself. Without knowing, there was no use in getting worked up over how I was feeling. I’d just closed my eyes when I felt the bed move, and I looked over to see Bailey roll over and press herself up against me. Her warm body fit perfectly against mine and she rested her arm across my chest. A couple minutes later she looked up at me with sleep-filled eyes. I could see the want in them, and I slid my arm under her neck, pulling her against me.

“Morning,” she murmured as she rested her head on my shoulder, her fingers drawing circles on my chest.

“Good morning.” I adjusted myself, pulling her closer still, wrapping her in my arms, and bringing a kiss to her forehead.

She was quiet. I looked down at her fingers as she traced over the sensitive scar on my chest.

“Where did you get this?” she asked as she ran her finger over the raised skin. “You never had that before.” She whispered.

I looked down into those big blue eyes of hers, unsure if I should tell her or not. I knew exactly how she felt about my job, especially after Connor had died. I could remember the nights when she’d begged me to do something else, anything else after he’d been killed. The anxiety she’d felt was almost paralyzing for her and it killed me to know she was in that state every time I left the house. I cleared my throat. There was no way I was going to hide it, I thought, because being a cop was in my blood. It was who I was. Just like it had been in her brother’s blood. No matter what she said, I would never change.

“It happened during an arrest a couple of years ago. We took down a couple of guys. Even though we’d searched them both, we missed the knife the one guy had. My partner was busy loading the other into the car and while I went to cuff the other, he pulled a knife on me. We struggled, and he ended up hitting me in the vest. The knife went right through the plate. Thankfully, that was when backup arrived.”

I prepared myself for the backlash, but she didn’t say anything. She was quiet and continued to run her finger over the raised scar. I pulled her closer to me, placing another kiss on her forehead.

“It looks worse than what it was.” I said, trying to ease her anxiety. Something I was so used to doing. It was second nature. “It took about ten stitches, that was it. No major damage was done, but it left this nice little reminder.”

“Did it hurt?” She questioned.

“Maybe a little. I think the stitches hurt more.” I chuckled, pressing my lips to her forehead.

“You lie.”

“I don’t lie. They really did hurt more. I barely even felt the knife. My adrenaline was so high.”

We lay there quietly for a few moments. She continued to run her fingers over that scare while I looked into her eyes. When she stopped, I propped myself up on my elbow and rolled her onto her back and slowly brought my lips to hers. I could feel myself already growing harder the slower and deeper I kissed her.

When our lips parted, she looked up at me, worry in her eyes despite the smile on her lips. “Jackson, as fun as last night was, I really should get back to my room.”

I felt as if I’d run into a cement wall. These were not the words I wanted to hear. I calmed my beating heart and cleared my throat. “Why?” I questioned.

“Come on, Jackson. We have brunch in a couple of hours. I need to get ready. Plus, the girls will come to meet me, and I showed up here alone. I really should be in my room when they do.”

I couldn’t help but feel a little crushed that she would be embarrassed about being with me. Instead of letting her words get to me, I decided I was going to fight for this. “So? What would be so wrong with you not being in your room when they came to get you? Instead of going with them, would it be so bad if we went to brunch together?”

Bailey let out a breath and looked away from me. “Jackson, we can’t do this.”

“We can’t do what?”

“This, we can’t do this. We can’t show up together.” She said, sitting up and pulling the blankets around her to cover her naked body.

“Are you embarrassed to be with me?” I questioned, getting up from the bed.

“No, it’s not that.” She answered, her voice weak.

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