Page 32 of Letting You Go

I walked through the park, finally taking a seat on a bench. A half hour had passed when I finally saw her walking toward me. She walked slowly, her head down as if she were deep in thought. My heart rate sped up as she came toward me. God, she was gorgeous. I just wanted to stare at her, without her knowing for a little while longer, but she glanced up in time to meet my eyes.

Surprise lined her face. “What are you doing out here?” she questioned as she approached. “I figured you’d be knee deep in the scotch about now.” She let out the cutest giggle and glanced at her watch.

God, that giggle. The same one that I fell in love with so long ago had returned for the first time since she had. It was so good to hear it again. I shook my head. “I just needed to let all that food settle. I told Ryan I’d be along after. Why don’t you take a seat?” I said, patting the bench beside me.

She walked over and sat down beside me, tucking her purse between us. She leaned back and looked up into the trees, then closed her eyes and took a deep breath. I couldn’t help but study her face. How I wished she would allow me to get close to her again.

We both sat there in silence, each looking off in the distance, unsure of what to say to one another.

“Are you okay?” she questioned, concern lining her voice. It was only a second before I felt her hand on the back of my head as she ran her fingers through my hair. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to enjoy the feeling of her touch for the first time in years.

“I am. Just a lot of memories surfacing,” I whispered. “What about you? Enjoy tonight?”

“Yeah, it was okay, I guess.” She avoided my eyes this time.

I sat back on the bench and stretched my arm across the back of it. It surprised me when she moved closer, leaned into me, and rested her head on my shoulder. At first, I didn’t know what to do, but then I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her closer to me.

“You know, I was thinking during dinner that I wouldn’t have gone with the chicken dish at our wedding.”

“Oh?”

“And what about that dessert? The one with the custard.”

“It was so gross,” we both said in unison.

Like music to my ears, Bailey giggled again. “What would you have gone with?” she questioned.

“I don’t know, probably steak, and some sort of cherry dessert, like that cheesecake your mom makes. I’ve been craving it for a while now.”

“Yes, god I haven’t had that in ages.” She whispered, then grew quiet. She interlaced her fingers with mine, snuggling into me a little closer. I closed my eyes and rested my head against hers, allowing the scent of her shampoo to surround me.

We both sat there, quiet, just holding one another for a while, and then she cleared her throat. “Whatever happened to us?” she whispered. “Why did we allow all of what happened to… split us apart?”

I sat there, running my thumb over the back of her hand, holding her against me. I didn’t have an answer. I didn’t even know if she wanted an answer. Truthfully, I was afraid to even move because I didn’t want to stop her from continuing with this conversation, especially if she had more to say.

“You know, Jackson, I’ve thought a lot about that over the last few years, more so over the last few weeks. From the second I first saw you again, I realized how much I’ve missed you.”

I swallowed hard. “I’ve missed you too, Bailey. So much,” I whispered, placing a gentle kiss on the top of her head. “I’ve missed this.”

I could have sat there all night with her in my arms. The second I closed my eyes was the moment she pushed away and sat up, looking down at her watch. “We should get back. Everyone’s going to be wondering where we are.”

I checked my watch. My escape to my room had turned into a two-hour escape. As much as I wanted to avoid the crowd of the wedding party, I nodded and stood, taking her hand in mine. We didn’t say another word between us while we walked back to the hotel. The walk I had wished would last forever seemed to go by so fast, and soon I held the door open as she ducked below my arm and went inside.

We’d walked into the lobby and stopped just outside the bank of elevators where she turned toward me. I looked down into those beautiful blue eyes. The way she looked at me told me she didn’t want to part ways anymore than I did. I wanted her.

“Why don’t you come with me up to my room?” I asked.

She tore her eyes from mine and bit her bottom lip. “I can’t, Jackson. I’m supposed to be spending the night in the bridal suite with Cara.”

The disappointment that shot through me hurt almost as bad as the morning she walked out on me, but I swallowed my pride and nodded. “Well, can’t blame me for trying. I guess this is good night then.”

She nodded. “I guess,” she said, lowering her eyes from mine.

As I stared into her eyes, I knew she didn’t want to part ways. It was more the answer she felt Cara would expect her to give. I didn’t want her to think I was looking for a booty call, because I wasn’t. She leaned forward and pressed the button for the elevator and stepped back. That was when I placed my finger under her chin, lifting those beautiful blue eyes back to mine, leaned in, and gently placed a kiss on her lips.

“Good night,” I whispered.

I heard a rumble of laughter and pulled away instantly, looking over my shoulder as the boys poured out of the lounge.

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