Page 56 of Spies Like Us

“What the fuck is going on down here?” Miller and Ryland both appear in the kitchen doorway. They are wearing sweats and look rumpled and flushed, and I guess the two of them were relieving their own frustration, and we interrupted them.

“Ask your fucking brother,” Lathan snaps, shaking off Anders’s hand and picking up his laptop. He grabs my hand and drags me out of the kitchen. “We’ll be in my room when you finish getting Max to pull his head out of his ass,” Lathan tells Dayton, who nods absently, still focused on his friend and teammate.

I allow Lathan to drag me out of the room. I don’t want to be involved in the conversation. I don’t want to have my heart stomped on repeatedly as they discuss the “situation.” Just when I thought I found something for myself, it gets snatched out of reach.

We head up the stairs and down a corridor. I don’t pay attention to my surroundings, my mind a whirling ball of self-loathing. He pushes a door open, and we enter a dark room. There must be shutters over the windows, because not a single drop of light gets in. He goes over and switches a lamp on next to his bed, placing his laptop on the desk against the wall.

I’m standing in the entrance, not really sure what to do with myself. He sighs and returns to my side, closing the door behind us before dragging me over to his bed. He gently pushes me, and I fall back against the mattress. It’s soft below me, and I don’t hesitate to crawl up and make myself comfortable, curling up in a ball. Even on my worst missions, I have never felt this kind of hurt or self-loathing.

He hesitates for a moment, but I seriously need some Lathan love, so I hold out a hand, and that’s all it takes. He toes off his shoes, crawls up the bed, and wraps his arms around me. I bury my head in his chest, and I can’t stop the sob that comes from my mouth as tears spill onto my cheeks.

“Shh, it’s okay.” He presses a kiss to the top of my head and rubs soothing circles on my back. “Ignore Max. To be honest, I think he feels guilty, like he’s cheating on you with Stella, and it’s making him grumpy. I know he tried to talk to you about it last night and you shut him down.”

“I can’t help it,” I stammer through my tears. “I get so freaking jealous every time I see them together. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, and I didn’t know how to explain it to him. We’ve only just met. I shouldn’t feel this way.”

“Oh, sweetie, it’s because it’s the first time you have ever had feelings for anyone. It has to be confusing and messing with your head.”

“More than just Max,” I tell him, worried he doesn’t understand that I mean all of them, but he chuckles and kisses me again before pulling back so he can look at my face.

“I know, baby. We all do, so don’t worry about us being jealous. We’re okay sharing amongst ourselves. We always knew it would be the best solution for us as a team, but no one has ever fit as well as you do. For you to suddenly be bombarded with all these emotions when you kept them cut off before has to be terrifying.”

Holy crap, how is this man so freaking intuitive? He perfectly described my state of mind with only a few words.

“You’re so confident in everything you do. You excel as a ghost operative, but let’s face it, it’s not a career that lends itself to any kind of emotional involvement. You have to be cold and unfeeling to do it.” I start to argue, but he puts a finger against my lips. “I’m not trying to make you feel bad, it’s just what it is. You couldn’t do your job effectively if you let emotions get involved, but now that you’re working with us, you’ve allowed your heart to feel probably for the first time, apart from your family and fellow ghosts. Am I right?”

I nod, but I don’t say anything.

“Well, Max is the same. You know he’s dominant, and that he likes to be in control all the time, but you make him feel out of control. He hates being dictated to, and the ring manipulating him is pushing all his buttons. It was bound to blow up. Your attitude isn’t helping. I think, deep down, he understands that your feelings are new to you, but he has daddy energy. He just wants to make it better for you, and he hates that it’s his behavior that is causing it.” He chuckles and shakes his head. “I know I’m probably not explaining this well, but try to forgive him. He doesn’t mean what he says, it’s just his way of trying to regain control.”

I take a moment to think about what Lathan just said. It makes sense. As much as I haven’t allowed my emotions to be involved before I met Max, all of them are probably the same way. There has to be a level of detachment to be a successful agent. I’m not giving them enough leeway, and they are all in the same boat. None of us expected to have feelings involved when Dad first told us we were going to be working together. Hell, it’s only been a little over a week, and I never knew feelings could develop so quickly.

I sigh and rest my head against his chest, snuggling in like a kitten. “Okay, you might be right, but I don’t want to talk about it anymore. There is some serious lack of snuggling in my life, and right now, all I want to do is feel your arms around me, breathe in your scent, and enjoy being here with you. Is that okay?”

His arms tighten as he pulls my body closer so he’s wrapped around me. “We will need to talk about it, but for now, I am fully on board with snuggling. I’ve been dreaming about it.” A smile stretches across my face at his confession, and I fall a little harder for this man.

Imust fall asleep, because the next thing I know, a hand is shaking me awake. “Mac, we need to go.” I raise my head and blink at Miller. He’s looking down at us with a gentle smile. Lathan’s body is wrapped around mine, and his leg is thrown over me like he’s holding me in place. His eyes are closed, and he looks younger than he is.

“It’s ten. You missed dinner and your date with Dayton, but he insisted we let you sleep. If we don’t go soon, though, Martha will blow up our phones.”

I wipe a hand across my mouth, worried that I was drooling in my sleep—the wet patch on Lathan’s shirt makes me suspicious. I cringe when my hand comes away wet, but Miller just snickers.

“Come on. As much as I want to leave you, we have to go.” He pulls at my hand, and I untangle myself from Lathan, who cracks an eye open.

“Love you, Mac,” he mutters sleepily, and I freeze, my brain stroking at his words.

“Don’t overthink it.” Miller tugs at my arm, and I look at him with panic in my eyes. “He’s half asleep.”

I allow him to pull me out of bed. “So you think he doesn’t mean it?” I ask, unable to hide the disappointment in my voice, and Miller chuckles.

“Oh, I don’t doubt he means it. I just doubt he meant to tell you yet. Lathan is a romantic at heart, and I’m pretty sure he fell the moment you opened those gorgeous eyes in the hospital room, despite looking like a domestic abuse victim.”

His words dampen my disappointment and fill me with hope until I think about the last part. “Ha, you’re the reason I looked like that,” I argue, and he grins like he succeeded in whatever he was trying to achieve.

He drags me downstairs. The house is quiet, and the rest of the guys are missing. “Where is everyone?” I ask him as he takes me into the kitchen where my shoes and tights are. My backpack is there as well. I think I must have dropped it in the closet, so someone must have retrieved it for me.

“Anders and Dayton took Max to poke around the shipping yard. He needed to work off some of his frustration because he was being a real asshole.” It’s Ryland who answers. He’s leaning against the doorframe leading to the conservatory. He says it casually, but I can tell he’s worried about his brother.

“Oh, okay. Well, hopefully they find something.” I don’t worry that they are doing something without me. In the past, I probably would have felt either guilty or annoyed that they hadn’t asked, but I can see the benefit of having a team to spread the jobs across. I don’t need to be involved in everything.

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