Page 87 of Release Me

Gentle fingers move the hair in my face behind my ear, gentler eyes hold me hostage, and I surrender to their hold. Allowing myself to disappear in pools of champagne that promise me a life beyond my fear, an existence not dictated by my doubts. Knowing that this is what Sebastian meant on our first day together when he said our commitment was just the beginning.

A stepping stone we’d use to launch a future where running is a thing you do because you’re in a rush, not because you’re scared for your life.

Where pain is a possibility but not an expectation.

Where love is loud and grief is quiet but not lonely.

I leave my fear in the inky depths of his eyes and emerge clean and unafraid. Not fully healed, not quite whole, but together just enough to lend my voice to the emotions blooming in my chest.

“I love you too.”

30

NADIA

Two weeks of exchanging I love yous with Sebastian have me feeling like I’m living in a fairy tale. Every day there’s goodness beyond what I thought I’d find in this lifetime. Love with no boundaries and desire that doesn’t wane even when we’re in a room full of people at a charity event for a foundation I never heard of before tonight in a dress made by a designer whose name I can’t pronounce.

Sebastian had the caviar black halter dress covered in Swarovski crystals custom made to match the fabric used to make his tuxedo, and when we saw each other dressed to the nines, looking and smelling divine, we nearly tore each other apart. I’m glad we settled for a quick and steamy session in the back of the limo on the way to the event because it’s been such a lovely night I would have been sad to miss it, to lose out on a chance to watch Sebastian be honored by the New Haven Victim Assistance Network for the buildings he’s converted into shelters for women and children.

I cried when he gave his speech, when he spoke about the work he’s been doing long before he met me, and how he’s become more passionate about it because of me. The moment he stepped off the stage, I was in his arms, crying once again, which has become something of a norm for me these days. Now we’re dancing and I can still feel moisture lingering in my eyes, ready to fall at any given moment.

“Why do you look like you’re going to cry again?”

Sebastian’s hands are on my waist, and his lips are at my ear. We’re in a room full of people, surrounded by bodies and the sound of flowing conversation, but to me it feels like it’s just us. We’re in a moment again. We’ve been in a moment for the past two weeks, but I don’t run from them anymore. I let myself stay in it. I let myself stay with him, and he takes care of me.

“Because I keep getting reminded of how amazing you are, and it makes me love you a little more.”

“Just a little?” he asks, a teasing lilt to his tone as he spins me around the floor. “Because I thought you’d be head over heels by now.”

“I am, and every time I think I can’t fall any deeper, you go and prove me wrong.”

“What can I say? I’m good like that.”

“Don’t make me regret giving you a compliment, Mr. Adler.”

“I’ll do my best, Miss Hendrix.”

His hand goes to my back, and the dip he lowers me into pulls a surprise but delighted gasp from me. And when he comes down too, placing a hot, wet, open mouth kiss on my neck, I let out a breathless moan that has him lifting me back up and staring at me with heated eyes.

“Let’s go home, precious.”

I know why he wants to leave. I know what he wants. I want it too. I’ve wanted it all night. With him, I want it all the time, but I don’t want to cut this night short when he’s the honoree.

“Sebastian, we can’t go. Tonight is about you.”

“And I’ve already fulfilled all of my duties for the night, which means—” his hands skating down my sides and around to my ass to grab an inappropriately incendiary handful “—I can take you home, get you out of this dress and make you come so many times you forget your own name.”

“Which one?” I joke, hoping a shared laugh will keep us from ripping each other’s clothes off in the middle of the dance floor.

“ Any of them. All of them.” We’re chest to chest. His forehead resting on mine. Our eyes focused on nothing but each other. “Nadia Hendrix. Nyla Hawthorne. The future Mrs. Adler. Take your pick.”

My heart skips a beat. Since we started saying ‘I love you,’ Sebastian has been generous with the phrase and with words that communicate his promise to put a ring on my finger. And every time he does, my heart skips a beat and my brain short circuits and I panic a little before I remember that this man knows me. He knows all my secrets and my shame, and he still loves me. He still wants to share his life with me. He still wants to marry me.

Every reminder he gives me, every hint at our future, acts as a salve on a wound I didn’t think would ever heal. Quiets the voice in my head that still repeats Beau’s lies sometimes, that still believes I’m worthless and undeserving of a love as good as this. Of a man as good as him.

“I love you.” It’s all I can say, and all I need to say.

Sebastian’s eyes melt, going soft in that way they only do for me. “So you’ll come home with me then?”

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