Page 105 of Release Me

NADIA

Sebastian storms into my office and makes a beeline for me. Everything about his posture and expression suggests that his intention is to pull me into his arms and demand to know what happened, who did it and how he can fix it after he confirms for himself that I’m okay. I move around my desk, ready to assure him that everything is fine, but when his eyes drop to my hand on my stomach, we both stop short.

I’ve been doing it all day, rubbing my belly, trying to get a feel for the life growing inside of me. It’s like the moment I accepted that I was pregnant, I haven’t been able to keep my hands off of it. Last night, I went to sleep on my back—because I was scared sleeping on my stomach would hurt the baby—with my fingers splayed over the slight pudge I’m sure only exists in my mind, wishing that Sebastian was there to feel it, to tell me if it’s real or not. He knows my body so well. He has every inch of me memorized, so he’d be able to tell me for sure. I wish I could ask him now, but he’s too busy trying to force his eyes to stay on my face.

In an attempt to make it easier for him, I tuck both of my hands inside the pockets of my dress. That seems to do the trick. Sebastian crosses his arms, and I run appreciative eyes over his imposing frame and the black suit he’s wearing.

“Are you okay?” he asks, his voice strained because he wants to ask about the baby and he doesn’t know how. I hate that we’re in this weird position, that he doesn’t know what he’s allowed to ask, and I don’t know what to say. And while I meant what I said yesterday about not appreciating his dishonesty, I don’t like the spot we’re in right now.

“I’m fine, and so is the baby.”

His shoulders sag with relief, and he runs a hand over his hair, down to the nape of his neck, which he grips tightly. “Thank God.”

“I’m sorry for shutting you out yesterday,” I offer quietly, stepping towards him because I just want to be in his space. “That wasn’t fair. We were both still reeling from the news of the pregnancy, and emotions were high. You didn’t deserve that.”

“You don’t have to apologize for needing time, precious, but I do need to apologize for not being upfront with you about our living situation. You deserved to know the truth, so you could make an informed decision.”

“I forgive you. Can you forgive me?”

I’m right in front of him now, and when he reaches for me, fingers skating over my waist to come to rest at my back, I lean into him. He pulls me closer, but he doesn’t squeeze me as tight as he normally does.

“I’d forgive you anything, Nadia.”

The solemnity of his words makes my heart ache. I know what he’s trying to say. He said it in my apartment last night even though there was hope in his eyes when he uttered the words. I don’t have to be pregnant, and if I choose not to be, we’ll be fine. He’ll still love me and want me. We might not have a baby, but we’ll have each other. That knowledge makes it easy for me to lend my voice to thought that’s been running through my mind since Dr. Suffrant told me I was pregnant.

“I want to keep the baby.”

I speak the words into his chest, laying them over his heart, hoping they’ll seal whatever fracture our exchange last night caused. Sebastian pushes out a harsh breath, and his arms go slack as he sinks to his knees in front of me.

“Sebastian?” I take his face in my hands. “Is that okay with you?”

“Of course that’s okay with me, precious,” he murmurs, shaking his head to dislodge my hands so he can bury his face in my stomach. Reverent lips press soft kisses to my skin through the fabric of my dress, and I giggle because the hair from his beard makes it tickle. Sebastian looks up at me, love and adoration shining in his eyes. “We’re going to have a baby.”

“We are.”

There are tears in my eyes as I gaze down at him, at this man who has given me more than I could have ever hoped to have in this world. At this person who’s gone from being a stranger, to a friend, to a lover and now the father of my child in mere months. Everything good in my life, which now includes this baby, our baby, is possible because I decided to trust him, because he decided to love me, and that’s just so fucking beautiful I can’t help but cry.

Well, I guess it’s more of a sob really, but it doesn’t matter because it comes from this place deep down inside of me that’s filled with happiness. With joy. With love.

Sebastian rises to his feet, but he keeps his hands on my waist and both of his thumbs on my stomach rubbing small, comforting circles. I know now that he’ll be just as obsessed with my stomach as I am. That he’ll note every change, every stretch mark and centimeter of growth. Hell, he’ll probably be one of those men who want to make a cast of my belly before I give birth, and I’ll let him because I love him.

“Happy tears?” he asks, a grin curving his lips.

I nod, smiling through the tears in question. “The happiest.”

“I love you, precious. I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Sebastian. Thank you for the flowers.”

That’s originally what I called him up here to say, but the moment I laid eyes on him I forgot all about the bouquet I saw getting delivered through the doorbell camera app.

“What flowers?” The smile on his face falters, and mine does too.

“The ones you had delivered to my place.”

Sebastian shakes his head. “I didn’t send you flowers, Nadia.”

“Yes, you did,” I insist, stepping back and moving over to my desk where I left my phone. “I watched the guy deliver them just a few minutes ago.” As I’m talking, I open the app up again and find the bouquet still sitting in front of my door. Sebastian is at my side now, and I push the phone in his hand. “See? They’re white lilies. Like you sent me the first time.”

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