Page 62 of Release Me

“You’re managing a restaurant and planning events with little to no help from the people I literally pay to assist you, you are busy.”

Frustrated, mainly because he’s making a good point, I plop down in Zoe’s desk chair and set about digging out my shoes. I find them at the very bottom of my garment bag and drop them on the floor, eyeing the buckles at the end of the straps and cursing myself for choosing a pair that is so hard to get on by myself.

“That’s not the point, Sebastian.”

He steps into his sister’s office, stopping at the edge of her desk where he’s close enough for me to smell him, for me to look into his eyes and see my reflection staring back at me.

“Then what is the point, Nadia?”

“The point is you don’t want me there!”

And that truth hurts me, but I don’t know why.

“I never said I didn’t want you there”

“You never said that you did.”

“I didn’t say that I did because I didn’t want you to feel pressured to come, because I know how overwhelming it can be for you to be around people you don’t know or trust, because?—”

His jaw clenches, and the vein in his forehead starts to pulse. His eyes are trained on my face, pupils filled with some emotion I can’t name, and that’s all it takes for us to be swept up in another moment. In the push and pull of warring waves of emotion spilling out from pools we’re too afraid to dive in.

“Because what?” I ask, searching his face for answers before he has the chance to give them. When he speaks, his voice is hoarse, like he’s fighting to maintain control of something that refuses to be tamed.

“Because I know you’re not ready for the things I want from you, and I don’t want to be sitting in front of my parents and siblings when you shut me out again.”

My heart slams against my rib cage repeatedly, stealing my ability to breathe for a moment. I turn his words over in my head, hoping the repetition will help them make sense. It doesn’t. I can’t fathom Sebastian Adler wanting anything from me that would evoke the emotions sweeping across his features, softening the lines of his thick brows and filling his champagne eyes with earnest.

“You want—” I stop, clear my throat and try again. “You want things from me?”

This isn’t the conversation I should be having with my boss, with my friend, with the first man I’ve trusted in forever. It’s too risky. Because if things get fucked up—and based off of how things in my life usually go, they will—then I’ll lose all those things. I’ll lose him.

That’s why I’ve been shutting him down, why I’ve been cutting our moments short. Not because I’m not ready to have the things Sebastian wants to have with me, but because I’m not ready to lose them.

“Nadia,” he breathes, dropping to his haunches in front of me and placing a hand under my chin. His fingers are warm on my skin, and his grip is tight but firm. “You seem to be under the impression that you’re not the most precious thing in my life. There is no end to the list of things I want to have with you and give to you, chief among them is time. Time to heal. Time to trust. Time to prepare your heart for what mine wants to ask of it.” The pad of his thumb swipes over my bottom lip, and he drops my gaze to trace the motion with his eyes. “How could you ever think I don’t want you around after all the things I’ve done to keep you in my orbit?”

Every other moment we’ve shared before this, pales in comparison to this one. To the sincere emotion Sebastian has layered into every word and pressed into my flesh. To the heat in his eyes that matches the molten lava scorching my veins and giving me startling clarity. Suddenly, I can see everything. Not just Sebastian’s handsome face looming in front of me in a haze of tears, but also everything he’s done to demonstrate the truth he’s just laid bare.

I reach for him with tentative fingers that sift through the surprisingly soft hair covering the hard line of his jaw and force a laugh past the lump in my throat. “I thought you were just being nice.”

The smile he gives me is dazzling with razor sharp edges that cause desire to unfurl low in my belly. “I’m not nice, Nadia.”

“Yes, you are. Desiree told me what you did for her. You saved her from that guy, gave her a job at Ludus and helped her take control of her life again.”

His eyes search my face, seeing the hidden meaning between my words. “You know that’s different right? Even if what you’re saying is true and I did save Desiree’s life, I didn’t save yours, Nadia. You saved yourself. You didn’t need me then, and you don’t need me now, but I want you to want me.”

His hand moves from my chin down my throat, and I swallow against his palm when he grips my neck. I can’t breathe, but it’s not because of the way he’s holding me, it’s because of the way his touch makes me feel like there’s never been anything else in the world that’s mattered to me more than it.

Sebastian leans forward, planting a kiss on my jaw with warm breath and gentle lips. “Do you want me, Nadia?”

I nod, unable to lend my voice to this confession. Sebastian’s not having it though, he pulls back, leveling me with a demanding gaze. “Say it.”

“I want you.”

22

SEBASTIAN

Those words leave Nadia’s lips, and it’s all I can do to be gentle when I put my free hand on her waist and pull her to the edge of the seat. Her legs already had a small gap in them, but she opens them wider, surprising the fuck out of me when she locks her ankles at the base of my spine and urges me forward. I go willingly, shifting my weight from the balls of my feet to my knees so that I’m kneeling in front of her. It feels right, assuming this position of reverence, demonstrating my desire to worship her. It’s the only place I’ve wanted to be since the day I met her, since the moment the words ‘I’m all in’ left her lips on the rooftop the other night.

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