Page 110 of Release Me

“No,” she says, refusing to admit the truth we both know, leaving me no choice but to voice my own fears.

“Well, I am,” I admit, and Nadia’s eyes snap to my face. “I’m scared of losing you, of losing our baby. I’m scared of having to go back to navigating this world alone. I’m scared that the realest, deepest love I’ve ever known is going to be snatched away from me, and there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m scared, precious, and I need you with me because I don’t know how long I’m going to be gone, and I don’t know how to be without you.”

39

NADIA

Sebastian leaves me with no choice but to go with him.

I mean, how do you say no to a man who is as powerful as he is passionate, as handsome as he is kind, and as ruthless as he is vulnerable?

Don’t even waste your time trying to come up with a reasonable response because the answer is you don’t.

You put in a request to HR for time off that’s already been approved because your boss is in love with you.

You pack nothing but your anti-nausea medicine and prenatal vitamins because he’s already got clothes and everything else you could possibly need waiting for you in the penthouse he has in the heart of Los Angeles with views you never got to appreciate when you were a resident.

And you stay in that penthouse every day going stir crazy while he splits his time between his office in downtown LA, a construction site in Santa Monica, and you, which leaves you lonely, bored and more susceptible than usual to making bad decisions like going out to eat with your ex-best friend who may or may not have told the man hunting you like a dog where he could find you.

“You’re not meeting up with Bianca,” Sebastian growls into the phone. The unfortunate thing about pregnancy hormones is that everything this man does lately either infuriates me or turns me on. Both things make it hard for me to focus long enough to make a valid argument.

“Yes, I am, Sebastian.”

It’s all I’ve got, and it sounds as juvenile to my ears as it must sound to his, but the thing is I don’t care because I’m already dressed, and this outfit is too cute to be wasted on the four walls of this house.

“Look,” I say, sitting the phone down and putting him on speaker, so I can put on my shoes. “I’ve already let Russ know where we’re meeting. He sent Enzo and Tyler down to the restaurant to check it out beforehand, which means him and Josh? Jason? I can’t remember the other guy’s name, but you know who I’m talking about.”

“Jared,” Sebastian offers, a bit of humor coloring his tone. He thinks it’s cute that I’m suffering from pregnancy brain already.

“Jared,” I huff. “Jared and Russ will drive me to the restaurant, and I promise I won’t leave their sight. I just have to get out of this house. I feel like I’m going crazy sitting here alone all the time.”

“I’m sorry I’ve been so busy, precious. I’m going to be home early tonight.”

“Babe, I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad. I know you have to work. It’s fine. I just want to share a meal with someone that isn’t the demon spawn you put inside of me that wants to eat everything but doesn’t like anything.”

This kid isn’t even here yet, and they’re already running my life. Dictating what I eat and when I eat it. Revolting every five seconds by sending the food I just ate to satisfy a craving back up the way it came.

“Demon spawn, huh? Just this morning you were gushing about how cute they’re going to be and telling me you love them more than I ever could.”

I shrug even though he can’t see me. “All of those things can be true at once.”

“If you say so, precious.”

“I do.”

The line goes quiet, and I know that we’re both sitting in the quiet of the happiness talk of our child has infused into the conversation. Every time we talk about the baby this happens. We allow for a moment of silence to fully soak in the appreciation of the goodness that is coming our way in the form of a little person that, with any luck, will be the perfect blend of the two of us.

“Where are you and Bianca going for lunch?” Sebastian asks when the moment is done. I do a little victory dance, glad he’s on board because I was going either way, and give him the details he needs. Once he has the information he needs, we hang up, and I head out the door with Russ and Jared.

The restaurant Bianca chose is a family owned Italian spot twenty minutes away from Sebastian’s place. I use the ride to calm my nerves and gather my thoughts, so I can be fully prepared to discuss the real reason I reached out to Bianca in the first place. I was content to let our chance meeting in New Haven be the last time I saw my ex-best friend because in my mind there was no point in dragging old, and not so healthy, relationships from my past into my new life. But then the conversation with Vince at Thanksgiving happened, and I was forced to reconsider.

Bianca is the only semi-safe tie I have to my old life, and we worked every single party together, which means she’s the only person who can tell me if what Vince said is the truth.

When I arrive at the restaurant, she’s already seated at a table near the front. She waves me down when I enter, and I leave Russ and Jared at the hostess stand talking to Tyler and Enzo.

“You have a security team now?” Bianca asks, by way of greeting.

“Yeah, I do.”

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