Page 43 of Buttercup and the Beard

“Well, shit.” He blows out a breath. “How did this happen?”

“Went home this weekend. Talked with my dad a little bit. Decided it’s time.”

“I feel like there’s more of a story there.”

“There is.” I tell him about Jem and the snowstorm. About us, about her pushing me to reconcile with my family. I tell him about going home with her this weekend and talking with my dad and how badly the station needs help. When I’m done, I suck in a deep breath.

Jackson, Connor, and the other guys here at the station… they’ve become like family to me. All of us work together to take care of the land, and I hate that I’m leaving them, but I’m also resolved to head home and to help Dad. To reconnect with my brothers again.

Jackson stands from behind his desk and comes around to wrap me in a brotherly hug. “I’m happy for you. Sucks that you’re going to live so far away, but I’m happy for you.”

I laugh. “Yeah, well, don’t fill my position too fast. I’ll probably be back.”

He pulls back. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. Jem and I are gonna try the long-distance thing. If it works out—if we go anywhere—I’ll probably move back.”

“What am I missing?” he asks.

“She wants to open an upscale coffee shop. I can’t just ask her to move businesses when it’s easier for me to transfer stations,” I say.

He nods. “Makes sense. How often are you going to be in town until then?”

“As often as I can be.” It’s the only true worry that I have about Jem and me—well one of them. What if I move back home and we do get serious? Leaving home and staying away so long broke something in me. Something that I’m putting back together. What’s leaving a second time going to do to me?

I shove the thought aside, leaving it for another day to think about. Jem and I agreed to try to make this work. Everything else is details that we can figure out later—together.

“When are you thinking of leaving?” Jackson asks.

I give him a look.

“Aw shit.” He winces.

“I’m gonna pack up my apartment and head home as soon as you can put the transfer through.”

“Well, fuck.” Jackson drags a hand through his hair. “I’m still happy for you, but this sucks.”

“I know.”

“Here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to put you on loan to the Everette station. This way you can head home as soon as you’re packed. If it’s as bad as I think it is, the sooner you get there the better. You’ll be on loan to them until the paperwork goes through, which can take a month. So prepare yourself for that.” He skirts back around his desk and wiggles his mouse to wake the monitor. “This fucking blows, man. Who’s gonna be my cornhole tourney buddy and make ridiculous bets with me?”

I laugh. “I know. I’ll still be here to visit as much as I can.”

He wags a finger at me. “Yeah, but we both know that you won’t be coming back to town for us. It’ll be for a specific brunette barista.”

My brunette barista.

“You’ve got me there.”

* * *

Less than a week later, the moving truck is packed, and my own truck is hitched to the back to tow. I didn’t have a lot of stuff that I wanted to bring with me, but more than I could reasonably fit in my truck.

“You’re going to call me when you get to your dad’s place, right?” Jem asks for the hundredth time. Her hands are clasped in front of her and she’s wringing the shit out of them. Ally already made the schedule for the month, and Jem couldn’t find anyone to cover the bakery for her to make the trip with me, so she’s here to see me off.

The whole group of my Felt friends is here to say goodbye. Arik and Kate with their son, Ben. Connor, Ally, and the twins, Elle and Emma, Jackson and a heavily pregnant Liv. Even Hedy and her husband, Ben—who Arik and Kate’s son is named after—give me huge hugs to say goodbye. The guys from the ranger station are working right now, but we had a poker night at the station the day after I gave Jackson the news and got to say our goodbyes then.

Earlier this week, the gang hosted a big going away party where we played games, drank, and ate good food. I took Jem home and practically tied her to my bed for a solid twenty-four hours, only leaving for food and to use the bathroom. After that, I almost called my dad and told him to call it off. It’s hard to think of going back home equaling leaving Felt—leaving Jem.

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