Page 90 of Love Lessons

“What, baby girl?”

She took a big, deep breath. “How come you’re not married?”

Well, shit. “Oh, uhhh…” That was a loaded question, and I didn’t know how to answer it. “Because you’re the number one girl in my life, Finley.”

“But you could still get married.”

“…Correct.”

“Then why don’t you?”

“Jeez, Fin. I don’t know. I probably will one day. But not for a long, long time. What made you—”

“Can we go to the gas station?”

Well, that was the end of that, then. Though confused, I was relieved to not have to answer any more questions about my lack of a wife. “What do you want to go to the gas station for?”

“Because I want to get Ms. Devin some chocolate donuts.”

I actually turned around to look at her instead of peeking at her in the mirror this time. “What?”

“One time I saw chocolate donuts in her desk, and I want to surprise her with some tomorrow.”

Rather than ask any further questions, I immediately pulled into the Circle K parking lot, much to Finley’s delight. She didn’t even complain about having to put her shoes back on to go inside. She found the chocolate donuts right away, assuring me she knew it was the exact kind Ms. Devin liked. She sweet-talked me into getting her a slushie, too.

“Hey Fin,” I said once we were back in the car. “Why don’t you let me give those to Ms. Devin tomorrow when I get there? Because I always bring her a coff—”

“No!”

“But she could eat them during her—”

“No, I want to give them to her.” She scowled at me from the backseat, holding her slushie with both hands. “It was my idea, not yours.”

“You’re right,” I said with a laugh, conceding to her like I usually did. Arguing over which one of us got to surprise Kendall with a treat gave me a glimpse of a life that didn’t feel as impossible as it once did.

I hoped this was the first of many arguments just like this.

chapter thirty-five

kendall

There wasn’t a single day that passed without a “good morning” text from Mason. He asked me what time I woke up, and I could count on a message from him within ten minutes after my alarm every morning. Sometimes he had something perverted to say, like, “my hands are cold” (knowing I’d understand exactly where he wanted to put them.) Other times, he’d say something that would take the breath right out of my lungs, like, “Hope you have a good day, pretty girl. Wish I were waking up beside you.”

And there was never a shortage of heart emojis.

I lay in my bed for a few extra minutes Monday morning, holding my blanket around me tight. Jamie and Daya hadn’t turned the furnace on yet for the season, making me wish Mason’s warm body was next to mine. My room was so cold, I was having trouble getting motivated to get up and get dressed, so I scrolled Facebook for a few minutes—a decision I regretted when I saw my dad’s latest post.

My step-mom, Angie, had tagged my dad in a photo. There he was with his new family, all of them in coordinating plaid and puffy vests amid a picturesque fall landscape. His two new daughters (I could hardly call them “new” considering they were in middle school now) were on either side of him, and all of their smiles were obnoxiously fake.

He had taken zero family portraits like this with us, so to see him like this was as hysterical as it was infuriating. I almost reacted to the photo with a laugh emoji, but that was a little too on-the-nose. So I opted for the heart reaction, wondering if he was smart enough to understand the sarcasm behind it. I wanted him to know that I’d seen it, and I hoped like hell there was some part of him that knew how much it hurt.

I showed the photo to Jamie that morning as she filled her water bottle at the sink. “Gross. I need to bleach my eyes now.” She walked over to the kitchen table and picked up a black jewelry box. “Hey, let me know what you think of this.”

She opened the box, revealing a circular starry constellation pendant dangling from a white-gold necklace chain. I gasped. “That’s gorgeous. Is it for Daya?”

“Yep,” Jamie said, snapping the box shut with one hand. “It’s our anniversary. That’s what the night sky looked like the day we met. Is that stupid or cool?”

“Are you kidding me? It’s the coolest thing I’ve ever seen. She’s going to flip over it. So are you guys doing okay, then?”

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