Page 68 of Heartless Monster

With the note in hand, I run back into the house, locking the door behind me. Creeping slowly, I go over to the bay window and peer out. The lights on my car flicker and I jump back before realizing it’s because the engine timed out from using my remote start.

I take a deep breath and back away while keeping my eyes glued to my car, afraid that if I stop looking, someone is going to appear and I’ll miss them.

Knowing I should call the cops, or even Brogan, or my parents, I hold back because of the note. I read it again…

What goes around for a snitch, comes back like a bitch.

If I tell anyone about this, what will they do next? Rome wouldn’t hurt anyone but me, but Winton, I have no doubt he would go after anyone in his path.

Maybe I should tell my mom to forget about looking into Rome’s case. He can finish out his probation and go to whatever school accepts him and live his life. Sure, he won’t have football, but at least the rest of us will be unscathed. He’ll resent me forever, but I’ll deal with it. This sexual thing between us needs to end anyways. He’s my stepbrother, for crying out loud.

But that’s not the kind of person I am. I can’t let what Rome did to save me ruin him. I just have to make sure I am more careful about how I go about all of this.

As for the feelings brewing inside me, they’ll go away eventually. I have no business feeling anything other than normal sibling emotions for Rome anyways.

Pulling my phone out of my purse, I go into the kitchen and sit down on a stool at the center island, the sensation of someone watching me still looming.

I send a text to Brogan, letting her know I’m staying home today so she doesn’t wonder where I am.

Me: Hey, Bro. I won’t be at school today. Not feeling great. See you when you get home from cheer practice.

She doesn’t respond and it’s likely because class has already started.

Then I text my mom because I know she’ll get a call from the school and immediately worry. I haven’t missed a day of school since the start of my junior year when I had a bad case of the flu, and even then, I begged her to let me go.

Me: Hi, Mom. I started getting bad cramps when I was getting ready for school. Think I’m going to stay home today.

Her response, however, is immediate.

Mom: Feel better, honey. Text if you need anything.

I can’t drive my car until I clean up the mess, but just the thought of going out there alone to face it has bile rising in my throat.And with it comes the memory of Rome hitting Winton last year. The sound of metal meeting bone rings heavily in my ears.

I jump off the stool, knowing I need to distract myself before I go crazy. Eventually I’ll have to go back out there and clean up the mess before anyone looks in my car. But not right now.

As I take the stairs up to my room, I allow the tears to fall. I should have been allowed to have one night where I went to a party and came home and nothing bad happened.

I go up to my room and curl into a ball under my blankets, wondering when this madness will end.

I think about that night, and everything in between. Digging up the memories of how it felt when Rome first touched me compared to the last time. In my heart, I feel like we’ve made progress and come so far. But in my head, I know it’s just an illusion of what I want to be real.

The truth is, Rome hasn’t forgiven me and he never will. He’s toying with me, just like he planned to. And I’m a fool for falling for his tricks.

I must have drifted off to sleep because my groggy eyes shoot open when my phone beeps with a text message.

Slapping my hand around on the mattress, I grab it and hold it over my head, seeing that it’s a message from Rome.

It’s the first time he’s initiated contact with me since we had sex, and I can’t pretend I’m not anxious to see what he has to say.

Evil Stepbrother: Why weren’t you in class today?

His first words to me since I gave him my virginity, and it’s a question asking me where I am.

Wow, Rome. You sure have a way with the ladies. No wonder he’s slept with so many—he treats them like complete trash after. I bet Abby was the only one to beg for seconds.

I sit up quickly when I see that it’s already after noon. I slept for over three hours! I must have needed the sleep. I wipe my groggy eyes, adjusting them to the light shining into my room.

Still certain Rome is the puppet master behind all this, I shoot him back an angry text.

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