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“Okay.”

“I’m not a fucking alcoholic.”

I didn’t say anything.

Derek exhaled loudly. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t owe me an apology.”

He winced. “I owe more apologies than I’ll ever catch up with. But this one is for you.”

I was curious. “Why?”

His blue eyes were red now but he didn’t flinch. He looked at me directly while he said what was on his mind.

“I’m sorry I lied to you at the wedding when you caught me drinking. I really didn’t think I was drunk.” He took a deep breath. “You ought to know I have thought of that conversation in the hallway a hundred times since then and every time I ask myself, ‘Why the fuck didn’t I just listen to Curtis?’”

“Derek, you’re not the only who keeps thinking about that. I could have told your folks. I could have followed up to make sure you didn’t end up driving.”

“No,” he said sharply. “Don’t do that. This is all on me. Hale’s death. What I’ve done to Hale’s family, to my family. Whatever I fucking get I’ll deserve and it will never be enough.” He choked back a sob. “Goddamn. There’s no undoing this.”

“No,” I agreed. “There’s no undoing this.”

He crushed the water bottle in his hands and lowered his head. I wished Cassie were here. I was afraid I wouldn’t say the right thing and Derek desperately needed someone to say the right thing.

“You might have heard things about me,” I said. “About the kind of life I led up until a few years ago. They’re all true. I’ve made some really shitty choices in my past.”

He raised his head. “Did your choices ever kill anyone, Curtis?”

“No,” I admitted.

“That’s good.” He nodded. “It’s a hell of a thing to live with.”

“I’m sure it is. But destroying yourself won’t do any good. No one wants that. Not your family. Not Dalton. Your life isn’t over, Derek. You can recover from this.”

He sniffed and swiped at his eyes while I looked away to give him a moment to cry if he needed to.

“Curtis?” he finally said.

“Yeah?”

“Were you really a gang member down there in Emblem?”

“Sure. I got started early. I was a teenager, same age as your brother Thomas.”

“But you got out.”

“Eventually I realized I was wasting my life on bullshit. Plus I had to clean my act up because my family needed me.”

Derek thought about that. “Looks like it worked. Here you are making dinner omelets in my parents’ kitchen and giving out pep talks.”

“What can I say? I’ve been domesticated.”

He nodded. “I just have one question.”

“What’s that?”

“While you were out there cooking in the kitchen did you wear my mother’s pink apron?”

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