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CHAPTER THIRTEEN

I totally lost track of time and flinched when my phone rang. My heart starting beating overtime when I saw an unfamiliar local number.

“Tristan?” I said into the phone.

“Curtis,” a voice answered. “It’s me.”

I exhaled, trying not to feel disappointed. One of my brothers was waiting for a response on the other end. It just wasn’t the brother I was so worried about.

“What’s up, Brecken?” I asked, keeping my voice light as I held up one finger and exited Cord’s office. Cord glanced at me and then resumed talking to Deck.

“Uh, you’re half an hour late to pick me up. I had to borrow a phone from one of the counselors.”

“Shit,” I swore, checking my wrist and then swearing again when I remembered I’d left my watch beside the sink in our motel room. Ever since Tristan stormed out the other night I’d been badly distracted but I’d have to get it together for Brecken’s sake. I checked out the time on the wall clock and winced.

“I’m sorry, man,” I said. “Can you hang in there? I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“Why don’t I just take the bus back to the hotel?”

“No,” I said firmly. Brecken looked really young and I didn’t want him alone at that place for five minutes. “Wait for me. I’ll be there soon.”

Cord and Deck stopped talking when I returned to the room.

“Hey, you guys mind if I take off now?” I said. “I’ve got to pick up my brother.”

The men glanced at each other.

Deck looked concerned when he asked, “Everything okay, Curtis? The boys doing well?”

I thought about telling him. About Tristan leaving. About how much I hated subjecting Brecken to even one more night at the motel. But the words wouldn’t come out.

“Sure, everything’s fine,” I said, surprising even myself with how cheerful I sounded. “We’re excited to move to the new apartment in a few weeks.”

“And where’d you say you were staying now?” Deck asked.

I’d never mentioned the Empire Motel at all. “Just a short term rental place. It’s not bad.”

Deck kept staring at me. I wasn’t sure what he was thinking. I stared back and tried to appear unconcerned, as if my biggest problem on earth was that I was late to pick up my little brother.

“It’s no problem if you need to go,” Cord said. “We’ve kept you past your quitting time anyway.”

Deck wasn’t willing to let me escape so fast. “Why don’t you bring the boys here for a visit one day?” he said. “Maybe they’d get a kick out of seeing the place. Shit, they were little kids the last time I saw them. Now Tristan’s nearly grown and Brecken must be hitting his teens.”

“Yeah, I’ll do that. Thanks.” I felt an almost painful urge to escape from their watchful eyes before they saw right through me. I’d never been a good liar and sooner or later I was bound to crack. Hell, I’d almost done it in the break room right in front of Cassie Gentry. I hadn’t had the urge to cry since I don’t even know when, yet I’d almost broken down when I sat in a chair at that flimsy table. All at once I felt like everything was catching up with me. I was no parent and I didn’t know what to do. If anything happened to Tristan I wasn’t sure how I could live with that.

When Cassie set that cup of coffee down on the table it shouldn’t have meant as much to me as it did. But in that moment, receiving a kind gesture from another human being was everything. I stammered out a thank you and wondered what she would think if she’d known what was going through my head. I didn’t get a chance to bring it up again because we didn’t see each other for the rest of the day. Not that it mattered. Even if we were working side by side all afternoon I knew damn well I wouldn’t have said one honest word about my problems.

She was gone when I walked through the lobby again. The other receptionist was there, Mary or Mercedes or whatever her name was. She was busy on the phone so I didn’t have to say hello. I had no grudge against the Mary person but I found myself wishing I’d gotten one more glimpse of Cassie today.

The afternoon had been a busy one. After I returned with the samples Cord wanted we spent the day getting the production space ready. The machinery would be delivered next week and Cord was thinking it wouldn’t be long before merchandise sales could begin. Deck joined us mid afternoon and I had enjoyed spending the day among the easy camaraderie shared by the two Gentry men.

But no matter what I was doing, Tristan was never very far from my thoughts. Yesterday I’d wasted hours willing the phone to ring. It didn’t. Finally I drove Brecken to the mall and we wandered around, drinking sodas and watching people. It was a good way to escape the grim motel room for a little while. My youngest brother was quieter than usual and I could have sworn the reason he kept craning his neck around as we strolled through the busy mall was because he was kept searching for Tristan in the crowd. After all, that’s what I’d been doing.

I stayed just within the speed limit on the drive to get Brecken. When I got there he was standing outside, kicking pebbles off the curb.

“What are you doing out here?” I asked him when he climbed in the car. “It’s hot as fire outside. You should’ve waited indoors. I would have come inside to get you. ”

The kid shrugged and pushed his hair out of his eyes. He needed a haircut. He needed a lot of things. New sneakers. T-shirts without food stains. A math tutor. A real home.

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