“You’re not feeling sick, are you?” Saylor asked. “You look a little flushed.”
“Well, I did just get out of the shower, Mom. Actually, I’m going to bed as soon as I dry my hair so this is good night.” She started to leave the room then did a double take. “Curtis. I didn’t even see you sitting there.”
“Yeah, I’ve been here a while,” I said. I tried to catch her eye in order to gauge just how upset and/or furious she was. But she wouldn’t look right at me.
“Whatever,” she said with a little too much breezy attitude. “Good night to you too.”
“Good night, Cassie.”
That weird little exchange might have caught the attention of Cassie’s parents if they hadn’t been busy giggling and whispering to each other like high school kids.
After stowing my dessert in the freezer I grabbed a broom and went out front to sweep the porch area. I couldn’t really see what I was doing but I needed to perform some kind of activity to keep my mind off Cassie.
Her father found me out there, industriously sweeping the walkway to the front door. “Curtis, what the hell are you doing?”
I paused mid-sweep. “Nothing, just getting the dust off the concrete.”
“Right now?”
“Never mind. I’m done.”
Cord eyed me when I tried to pass him. “I know how you feel,” he said.
I couldn’t read the expression on his face. He didn’t sound angry. If he knew what I’d been doing in the backyard twenty minutes ago he would have been angry.
“It’s not easy,” Cord said.
No, it wasn’t easy. It wasn’t easy at all to push away a girl I couldn’t stop thinking about and agonize over whether I’d injured her in doing so.
“Brothers,” Cord said, crossing his arms and staring out toward the street. “They can really try your soul.”
I lowered my head. He was talking about Tristan. Cord had plenty of brothers of his own so of course he understood how their fates could weigh on you.
“I wish I knew where he was tonight,” I said. “If he was safe, if he needed my help. I don’t even have any leads on him.”
That was all true. I’d dug up some old contacts and made a few calls, even taking a drive down to Emblem to poke around and see if he’d turned up down there at all. Nothing. It was like my brother had evaporated into the hot desert night approximately two seconds after leaving the Empire Motel.
“Deck put the word out,” Cord said. “He still has connections and people tend to want to please him so if anyone has anything to share they won’t hesitate.”
“Thank you, Cord,” I said. “Especially for everything you guys are doing for Brecken. I can’t remember when I’ve seen him so happy.”
“He’s a great kid,” Cord said. “We like having him here. We also don’t mind having you hang around.”
The words were kindly meant but they made me feel like a piece of shit after the way I’d nearly fucked his daughter in his house. At least I’d stopped things before we reached the point of no return. Cassie would eventually realize that I did her a favor. We’d never have a thing in common. After the things I told her tonight she had to understand that. If this was a story then I’d be the damaged villain and she’d be the naive princess. Stories like that don’t end well in real life.
Cord followed his wife to bed and Brecken had already shut off his light so I was alone in the living with the old family dog. He’d trailed me into the house earlier as I chased Cassie to her room. Now he lounged on his bed in the corner and watched me with what seemed like disapproval.
There was something I had to do before I could sleep. I was still all keyed up from earlier and there was a pent up pressure inside of me because I hadn’t given my dick any kind of release. So I took a shower and jacked off like a madman while recalling the soft feel of Cassie’s tits in my hands and the way she moaned and shuddered when I hit the jackpot with my hand inside of her. I knew I was a first class hypocrite for beating my meat to the idea of ruthlessly fucking her when I’d already told her it wouldn’t happen. I couldn’t help myself. She was my fantasy, ripe and untouchable. That’s what she’d been since the day we met.
After I got cleaned up I was bone tired and had no trouble falling into a deep sleep on the pullout couch. I might have dreamed of her because she was the first thing I thought of when I woke up in the morning.
I found her in the kitchen, eating her container of frozen yogurt for breakfast. She kept spooning yogurt into her mouth, ignoring me when I got my own leftover frozen yogurt and sat in the chair beside her.
“Are you the only one awake?” I asked.
She ate another spoonful, taking her time about swallowing. I tried not to stare at her lips. I wondered if she’d answer me, if she ever planned to talk to me again. Last night I’d sworn to myself that I’d offer her friendship even if neither of us wanted it.
“Dad left for work early,” she said. “Mom’s sleeping I guess. Brecken’s getting ready in the bathroom.”