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CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Well, fuck me sideways, I could not have fucked that up better if I tried.

I didn’t wake up this morning with a plan to make Cassie Gentry come on my hand in the backyard of her parents’ house. But then I found her outside and alone and wearing this short white gown that reminded me how outrageously hot she was. She shook her long hair loose while one thin dress strap fell slightly to the side and what happened next hit with the speed of a freight train.

It wasn’t her fault. It was mine. She was the first to reach out and shyly touch my hand but that didn’t have to turn into more. For a minute I fooled myself into thinking I had a right to put my hands all over her, inside of her, almost losing my mind when she rode my hand with abandon before she shuddered and came. Then Cassie turned to me, so sexy and so sweetly eager, offering admission to her childhood bedroom to let me do whatever I wanted.

And I almost did.

I almost ripped off that flimsy dress and roughly fucked her on her frilly bedspread right in that very room with all the cat posters and shit looking on.

If I had I would have hated myself five minutes after it was over. I would have hated myself even more than I did right now.

Damn, the way she’d looked at me in that room. Like I’d stomped all over her heart. It wasn’t the first time I’d ever been on the receiving end of a look like that but it was the first time my reaction was like a punch in the gut. I’d never intentionally hurt Cassie. Sweet, beautiful Cassie who was used to being sheltered and loved and would be better off finding some button down grad student to worship her.

And then there was the rest of the family. It would be the height of disrespect to abuse the trust Cord and Saylor had placed in me by messing with their precious daughter right under their roof. Sure, Cassie was no little girl but she still lived in her parents’ home and she’d never struck me as worldly. She was lucky to be that way, lucky that life hadn’t bruised her up at all. I desperately hoped it would never would. The world was already too crowded with shattered people.

Somewhere in the house one door opened and another one closed. I knew the sounds in here well enough by now to recognize that Cassie’s door had been the one to open and the secondary bathroom was the one to close. A moment later I heard the shower start.

There was no doubt in my mind that I ought to leave. I’d still see Cassie at work for the rest of the summer but spending my nights here on the couch while she slept just down the hall would be nearly intolerable for me and for her.

The sound of voices startled me. I quickly switched on a lamp so it wouldn’t appear I was sitting here on the living couch in the dark like a weirdo.

Brecken bounded into the room first. “You’re back!” he said happily.

I tried to smile. “Of course I’m back. I just went to the store.”

My brother tossed a small brown sack into my lap. “We got you some frozen yogurt. Vanilla. I couldn’t remember what you liked.”

“Thanks, vanilla’s great.” My voice sounded hollow even to me. Brecken tilted his head and looked at me strangely. I fought my bleak mood away and smiled at him and he relaxed.

I couldn’t leave tonight.

There’d be no way to explain that, especially not to Brecken. He’d grown really attached to the Gentrys. Being here in this house was the first good thing that had happened to the kid since his mother was hauled off in handcuffs. There wasn’t all that much time left until he and I would be moving into our own apartment. My hopes that Tristan would come back to us by the time that happened were starting to fade but I wasn’t giving up on the idea. Things were about to turn around for the Mulligan boys. I could stick it out here a little longer for Brecken’s sake. Tomorrow I’d speak to Cassie. I’d even extend the hand of friendship.

I don’t want to be just her damn friend.

Saylor and Cord were laughing about something when they joined us in the living room. By nature I didn’t tend to be a sentimental guy but they fascinated me. I’d never known a couple who’d been married for as long as they were and yet were still so clearly head over heels in love.

“Where’s Cassie?” Saylor asked as Cord’s arm lingered around her waist.

“She’s around here somewhere,” I said, trying to sound like it had never occurred to me to be aware of Cassie’s location.

“I think I hear the shower running,” Saylor said. She had a paper bag in her hand like the one that Brecken had tossed to me. “I’ll put her yogurt in the freezer.” She pointed to Brecken. “You need to go get ready for bed, young man.”

As a newly minted teenager, Brecken might have grumbled about being ordered to bed at nine p.m. on a summer night. But he always seemed content to obey Saylor, happy that a maternal figure was looking out for him.

Before Brecken ran off he frowned and pointed to the bag in my lap. “You’re not going to eat your yogurt?”

I looked down at the bag. I’d never been less hungry in my life. “Maybe I’ll put it in the freezer and save it for tomorrow.”

He shrugged and ran off to his room. Well, Cadence’s room. The third Gentry daughter, the only one I hadn’t met at this point. I wondered how she’d really feel about a thirteen-year-old boy taking up temporary residence in her room while she was away but Cord had told me Cadence would be glad that her room was getting some use. I didn’t know about that but I was grateful for the sacrifice anyway.

“You’re home,” Cassie said, entering the room wearing a thick fuzzy red bathrobe that ended at her ankles and would probably be better suited as post-shower attire in North Dakota in the winter. Her hair was bound up in a towel atop her head. She smiled and tousled Brecken’s hair before he darted past her. Then she smiled at her parents. She didn’t acknowledge me at all.

“Hi, sweetie,” Saylor said. “I got you some butterscotch frozen yogurt. I know you told your dad you didn’t want any but I said that was nonsense. No daughter of mine would turn down frozen yogurt.”

Cassie laughed. “Thanks, Mom. I’m still stuffed from dinner right now but if you stick it in the freezer I promise I’ll get around to eating it.” She yawned. “I’m super tired right now anyway.”

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