Page 59 of Queen of Misfortune (Shadows of Redemption)

I step closer, yet the distance between us still feels insurmountable.

She folds her arms across her chest and looks up at me defiantly. “I agreed to this, so let’s get on with it.”

“What I wanted to tell you,” I start, feeling like a teenage boy stumbling over my words. It’s not a feeling I like, and the urge to be an asshole again threatens me. I mean, I get it that she doesn’t like me, but I’m not an ogre. "Once Giovanni is no longer a threat… we can annul this marriage. You’ll be free to dowhatever you want, although anything with Elena will still have conditions set by Niko."

There's a flicker of something in her eyes, and I almost think it’s pain, but more likely, it’s annoyance. For a moment, she doesn’t say anything. I stand there, my hands clasped behind my back, the word 'annulled' echoing in the space between us. The taste is bitter in my mouth, and it’s another fucking sign of how much this woman has gotten into my soul.

"Only until Giovanni's threat is no more," I hear myself repeat to let her know this marriage is temporary, just a means to an end.

My gaze lingers on her, tracing the contours of her face, the determined set of her jaw, the way her hair cascades like dark silk. There's a beauty to her resilience, a magnetism to her strength that pulls at me, undeniable, unrelenting. It’s fucking torture.

The door to the room opens, and Niko steps in. “It’s time. We need to get this done and get out.”

“We’re coming,” I say even though I wonder if Lucy is about to change her mind. I turn back to her, and it hits me how vacant her expression appears. She’s a shell of the woman I’d come to admire and desire, and it guts me that I’m the cause of it.

I take her hand, wanting to believe she’s allowing it because she wants my touch, but I know that’s a lie. She’s going through the motions.

“I know you didn’t get to choose the first time you got married, and I’m so, so sorry you didn’t get a choice this time either.” Then I leave her there, under guard, as I go to prepare to marry a woman who doesn’t love or respect me.

20

LUCIA

Ithought I’d locked my heart up tight before I entered the church, but to hear Donovan tell me that this marriage didn't mean anything and it would be annulled as soon as my father was dead hurt. It's not like I didn't know that a divorce or annulment was a probability. I know exactly why this wedding is taking place. But hearing it from Donovan's mouth tapped into all the trauma I've been carrying since I was a child. It is a reminder that ultimately, I am nothing, I am no one.

Now I stand in the vestibule, waiting to walk down the aisle. Because men are everywhere, I can't make an escape. Would I run if I had the opportunity? Would I risk being caught by my father?

My life wouldn’t be much different. I’d still be at the whims of the men who have control over my life. A pawn in their stupid games. At the same time, I have to admit, I'm much less likely to experience violence against me if I stick with Donovan. Plus, I can be with Lena. All I have to do is follow through on this wedding. So no, I wouldn't run away.

The doors of the sanctuary open and Niko appears. "I thought I would walk you up the aisle. If you'd like."

I can't imagine why he'd want to do that except perhaps Elena asked him to. Or maybe it's symbolic. Niko is handing me over to Donovan for safekeeping.

Whatever the reason, I don't have the energy to argue so I simply nod. He holds out his arm, and I loop mine through it. The doors open and from somewhere, a wedding march plays. I find it odd how they’re pulling out all the stops for this. With Niko’s clout, he could have hired a justice of the peace to come to the penthouse. But of course, this wedding isn’t about me and Donovan. It’s about sticking a middle finger to my father.

As I start up the aisle, my gaze first goes to Elena who’s standing as my attendant. She is smiling, and I give her a wan smile back.

"Listen." Niko leans a little closer to me and murmurs, "I know that in your case, this is less than ideal, but Donovan really wants to do right by you. Maybe you can cut him a little bit of slack going forward."

I shake my head and let out a derisive laugh under my breath. I turn my head to look at him. "Is that in order, Don Leone?"

His brow furrows in confusion.

"You're the one who calls the shots. And in this marriage, Donovan will call the shots. I know how this works, so don't pretend that what I say or do really matters."

Niko looks surprised, and then his jaw tightens and he turns to look ahead. "But you had a choice, Lucia. You had the choice to leave. All I ask is that you flick that chip off your shoulder and act like you're a member of this Family."

Incensed that he acts like I'm the problem in all this, I look ahead to the altar where Donovan stands. His hands are clasped in front of him and he shifts from side to side as his dark eyes watch me approach. The intensity of his gaze hits me in the middle of the chest, causing my breath to hitch. I remind myself that he's a big goon, but it's hard when I take in the cut of hissuit. Good golly, he's handsome. I hadn't looked at him when we were in the office off the vestibule, so I hadn’t seen how shockingly stunning he is.

As we reach Donovan, he gives me a smile and holds his left arm out. I disentangle myself from Niko and step up next to Donovan, but I avoid putting my arm through his. It's petty, I know, but whenever I'm this close to Donovan, my brain short-circuits. It goes to places it shouldn't go, like thoughts of happiness. I remind myself of what he told me just moments before, that this wedding doesn’t mean anything and when my father is dead, it will be annulled.

The priest begins the ceremony and I focus on him. He's a wiry, older gentleman whose gaze keeps darting over to Niko, making me wonder if Niko had threatened him to perform the ceremony. If a marriage is performed in a Catholic church by a priest under duress, is it legit? Under those circumstances, a marriage is null and void, and we wouldn’t need to bother with an annulment. It's definitely something I could look up on the Internet. Assuming I’m allowed to have a phone or unsupervised access to a computer.

All of a sudden, I’m facing Donovan and he’s saying words to me. “I take you, Lucia Conti.”

I realize he’s left out my maiden name. For some reason, I’m glad.

“…take you to be my wife. I promise to protect you and care for you in sickness and health all the days of my life.” He slips a gorgeous diamond ring on my finger. The motions are real, but the vows have been changed. There’s no talk of love or ever after. But there wouldn't be, would there?

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