Page 71 of In Too Deep

Since Cat showed up at my door a couple weeks ago, we’ve been living in our little bubble of bliss. We haven’t talked about what happened or the consequences of it in her life. Cat said she wanted to focus on moving forward and not looking back. But perhaps I should’ve pushed her to talk about it. Maybe if I’d asked more questions, I would have known this stuff with Lori was weighing on her heart.

She shrugs, her eyes focusing on her lap. “I guess I didn’t bring it up because I didn’t want to deal with it.”

I wrap my arm around her shoulders, placing my other hand under her chin and gently guiding her head up until she meets my gaze. “You can’t avoid it forever. Talk to me. What’s going on?”

She sighs. “Apparently Lori and Spencer have fallen in love.”

My eyebrows lift as I release her chin. I thought I’d overheard Spencer say he was in love with Lori, but I told myself I couldn’t have heard him right. “Oh, wow… when did this happen?”

“While we were dating.” The bitterness in her tone gives me pause, unease squeezing my chest. “Though, I guess it started before. They just never told me they already knew each other.”

My eyes study her for any sign of jealousy, and though I only see hurt in her eyes, I decide to ask her point blank. “I can understand why that might upset you, but are you sure it’s not because you still have feelings for Spencer?”

She snickers, as if my question is ridiculous, and the tightness in my chest eases. “No, it’s nothing like that. I’ll always care for Spencer, but my heart lies with you. Still, it’s a little weird, the thought of them dating. And I hate that they kept something so big from me. It makes me feel like such a fool because I sensed their connection all along.”

“You’re not a fool,” I reassure her. She gives me a loving smile as I tuck her hair behind her ear, kissing her temple. “And I’m sure they didn’t set out for any of this to happen any more than we did when we fell in love. Some people are just meant to be. Either way, Spencer’s right. She’s your best friend, you should talk to her.”

Her eyes widen as she gasps, playfully smacking my chest. “Geez, did you have your ear pressed to the door?”

“No… your walls are thin.” I grab the hand she slapped me with, suggestively wiggling my eyebrows as I kiss her knuckles. “Stop trying to deflect. I know how much you care about Lori. You won’t be happy until you make up with her.”

Her lips purse, her eyes twinkling with mischief as she shifts to straddle my lap. “I’ll go talk to her first thing tomorrow morning. Promise. Right now, there’s something else I want to do.”

45

Catelyn

A shiver rocks through me as I stand outside Lori’s door, the morning air seemingly cooler than it should be this time of year. A shadow passes over the peephole, the silence on the other side of the door deafening as I hold up my peace offering from the coffee shop with a nervous smile on my face. Showing up here wasn’t easy. I’m not sure if she’ll even be willing to speak to me, but I had to try to make things right.

“Lori, I can hear you. Will you please open the door?” The lock clicks, and I loosen a breath as she pulls her front door open. Once we’re face to face, my heart races as she stares unblinking at me, her expressionless face ashen. “I come in peace,” I say. “Can I come inside so we can talk?”

With a quick nod, she steps to the side and gestures for me to enter. Normally, I would walk right in and make myself at home. But I feel like I lost that right after my behavior. So, I wait by the door as she closes it, and follow behind her.

“I’m sorry for showing up without calling first. I was worried you wouldn’t want to see me,” I admit as we enter the kitchen.

She turns to face me as she crosses her arms. “You’re the one who ended our communication, not me. I’ve hated not being able to talk to or see you.”

Placing the bag of pastries and coffee on the counter, I take a deep breath, trying to muster my courage. “I know. I’ve been an awful friend. I can never tell you how sorry I am.”

I offer one of the coffees to Lori, and she puckers her lips before reaching to retrieve it.

“So, you don’t hate me?”

Her question hits me right in the heart.

My chin quivers as I shake my head. “No, I could never hate you. It’s me I hate. I’ve been so appalled by my behavior. Those things I said to you that night, the way I treated you and Spencer... it was all so awful, and I was embarrassed. That’s the real reason I haven’t called or come by before now. I’m ashamed, and I was too much of a coward to face you.”

She sighs, her face unreadable as she takes a sip of her coffee. “So, what’s changed?”

I shrug. “Spencer helped me realize it was time to put my big girl panties on and push my pride aside. You mean too much for me to let something so stupid ruin our friendship. I only hope you can forgive me.”

Stepping up to the counter, she peeks inside the bag and pulls out a blueberry muffin, carrying it over to the table. “Forgive you?”

Nodding, I take a seat. “My reaction to you and Spencer was totally unfair. The truth is, I was projecting. I felt so guilty for what happened with Lawrence, and I’d always been a little jealous of your relationship with Spencer. From that first night we had dinner together, I could see the connection you two had. As your friendship grew, I felt more and more like the outsider, like it was the two of you who belonged together.”

“Cat…” She shakes her head. “That’s not…”

“It’s okay, Lori. I didn’t say that to make you feel bad. I’m the one who’s done something wrong. I’ve been selfishly standing in the way of your happiness. I’m the worst friend on the planet.”

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