Page 4 of In Too Deep

The first time I ever laid eyes on him in Caroline’s backyard, I was completely mesmerized. He was so alluring. The beautiful tawny coloring of his skin complemented his stunning teal eyes. It was unlike anything I’d ever seen before, and it’s still true all these years later.

He hasn’t changed at all since the last time I saw him, which isn’t surprising, but it is oddly comforting. He’s kept his hair in the same faded hairstyle he’s had since we were kids because he hates his natural springy curls. He had grown it out for me once when we were fourteen, but it didn’t last long. When I see the Florida State University logo on his maroon polo, a smile tugs at my lips. I’ve never enjoyed sports, but Lawrence’s passion for the FSU football team was contagious. It’s still the only team I have any interest in. Perhaps that’s because it reminds me of him—of what we once had.

Robbie stands when Lawrence reaches him, and they greet each other with the cliché backslap-handshake-man-hug thing, while I shamelessly admire Lawrence’s backside. He’s always had a naturally fit body, the type of person who works out for fun instead of necessity. A fact that only made me feel more insecure about my natural portly state.

When he pulls away from Robbie, his head whips in my direction as if he’d known I was here all along. Or maybe he could feel my glare on him.

His eyes lock on mine, and a tingly feeling spreads through my body.

Never trust anyone with eyes reminiscent of the sea. They use them like weapons, keeping you distracted with their beauty, so you never see the danger coming.

My mind and body feel overloaded with thoughts and emotions, having a deer in headlights effect on me. Trying to hide the panic, I force a smile. I’m doing my best to feign a casual demeanor as he continues to blankly stare, but my cheeks get warmer with each passing second. Finally, his forehead creases as a smile plays on his lips. He moves to take a step in my direction, but Robbie places a hand on his shoulder, stopping him. Lawrence turns his attention back to Robbie and follows him out of the room, allowing me to release the breath I’d been holding.

2

Surprisingly, Lori answers my call after the first ring. I was sure she’d be pissed at me for not showing up this morning. My time has been occupied with my boyfriend lately, and she hasn’t been very happy about it. The plan was to make that up to her today, then I got the call from Caroline.

“I’m not sure if I’m speaking to you right now.”

Chuckling, I lean against the bumper of my car and allow my heavy eyelids to fall. After Lawrence followed Robbie into the kitchen, I snuck outside for some much-needed fresh air and distance. It was beginning to feel like I couldn’t catch my breath. If I’m going to make it through this day, I need something or someone to help me stay grounded.

I need my best friend.

“I know…I’m sorry. It was kind of an emergency.”

She huffs. “Well…you didn’t need to send prince charming in your place. I don’t need someone to babysit me.”

My eyes open, checking my surroundings as I kick at the gravel under my feet. Jealousy is an ugly trickster. It can make you question even your strongest relationships. As much as I hate to admit it to myself, I’m resentful of Spencer’s friendship with Lori. My best friend isn’t the easiest person to get along with; she’s that way by design. Trust doesn’t come easy for her. If you want to be in her life, you have to fight for it. Yet, my boyfriend seemed to have found a secret passageway. The two of them became fast friends shortly after we started dating. I’ve seen the way he watches her, with a caring protectiveness. And I’ve heard her witty banter with him, the kind of stuff she usually reserves only for those she cares for most. It’s hard sometimes to convince myself it doesn’t mean anything.

Today, when Spencer found out I was going to have to cancel on Lori again, he volunteered to go in my place. I wish I could say it didn’t bother me. Lori is my best friend, and Spencer is the best boyfriend in the world. It should make me happy they’re so close, instead of this unease. I know there’s nothing funny going on between them, neither of them would ever do anything to hurt me like that, but I can’t shake the way they looked at each other the first time I introduced them. Like they had intimate knowledge of each other and were longing for more.

“Do you really think that was my idea? Or that I could’ve kept him from showing up at your door?” My tone is a little snippier than I intended, but Lori doesn’t seem to notice.

“If he hadn’t showed up with Gram, I would’ve sent him away.”

I force a laugh through my gritted teeth. “How did that go?”

The fact that Spencer’s beloved grandmother loves Lori so much when she clearly doesn’t care for me is like salt in the wound. No matter how hard I’ve tried to get her to like me, she’s remained cold and indifferent. This isn’t something I’m used to. Being a people pleaser, you get good at learning how to be who everyone wants or expects you to be. If there’s anyone I need to like me right now, it’s Darla. Spencer’s parents died when he was just a kid, and she’s all he has in the world. But Gram is one nut I can’t seem to crack. Lori, on the other hand, hit it off with her no problem. Maybe that’s because they’re so much alike.

“Good. I adore that woman.” She chuckles. “We’re just dropping her off now.”

The little green monster tightens his hold on my gut, and I wince. “Oh, I didn’t realize you were still with him.”

Hours.

They’ve been together for hours. The two of them and Gram, like a family. Spencer has never invited me along on the days he spends with his grandmother, but he didn’t even blink about bringing Lori.

“Well…he’s inside getting Gram situated, but he should be out in a minute. Did you want to talk to him?”

“No,” I answer a little too quickly. “That’s okay. I’ll call him when I get home tonight. If it’s not too late.”

“How are things there? How’s Dave?”

“Not great.” My throat swells as a couple stray tears roll down my cheeks. I rush to wipe them away, clearing my windpipe.

“Spencer said it was bad. Are they really thinking he won’t make it through the night?”

“Yes…” I sigh, looking around to make sure I’m still alone before I continue. “It’s been awful. Hospice hasn’t shown up yet. Dave’s been crying out in pain, and Caroline has been glued to his side. She’s barely said two words to anyone and won’t eat. I don’t know how to help her.”

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