Page 48 of In Too Deep

“It was, but—”

“No,” she snaps. “You don’t get to change your mind now. I’ve had to sit back for the past year and watch as my best friend’s heart broke. She cried enough tears to flood this whole town, all while trying to figure out what she’d done to deserve you cutting her out of your life the way you did. She’s finally dating someone new, and she’s happy. But you could easily screw all that up for her. Once she finds out you’re coming back, we both know it won’t take long for her to forgive you and let you worm your way back into her life. If you really care about her, you’ll let her go. She won’t survive another heartbreak because of you.”

She doesn’t give me a chance to respond or defend myself before she storms away, leaving my head reeling from everything she said as the door slams behind her.

Catelyn

My chest aches as I get into my car, knowing I’m about to drive away from Lawrence and may never see him again. When I saw him standing there as I walked into the funeral home, I didn’t know what to do. Every emotion I’d felt over the past year came crashing down on me all at once. I wanted to cry, to run into his arms, to punch him in his handsome face. It was overwhelming, and I plucked the only emotion I could stomach out of the bunch: anger.

All day, I’ve lashed out at him, taken every opportunity to be unnecessarily rude and mean to him. When he asked if he could ride in my car with Caroline and Robbie to the cemetery, I said no, told him he could walk for all I cared. After a while, he started to avoid me.

It hurt, him ignoring me, but I couldn’t blame him. I think a part of me thought he would fight back. Instead, he let me push him away. I know it’s for the best, though. He will be gone again tomorrow, and I don’t need to go through the pain of losing him all over again.

Still, as I put my car into reverse, my eyes begin to fill with tears. Regardless of what happened between us, I love Lawrence. I always will. If I hadn’t been certain of that before today, I would be now. When he told me he loved me, I almost caved. Over the past year, I’ve questioned our relationship, wondered if any of it was real. Maybe it’s naive, but when he said those words to me, I believed him. I’m just not so sure he loved me the way I love him.

Checking my rearview mirror, I lift my foot off the brake and allow my car to move backward. As my gaze moves back to my front windshield, I see Lawrence hurdling toward me, his arms waving to get my attention. My foot stomps on the brake, my head swimming and stomach fluttering as I roll down my window.

I shouldn’t care, I shouldn’t want to hear what he has to say, but I do. A part of me prays he’s come to give me a proper goodbye—that he won’t let us part on bad terms.

“What do you want?” My sharp tone is only a ruse to hide the hope expanding in my chest, but his exasperated sigh tells me he bought my act.

“There’s something I want to tell you before you go.” His face is expressionless, his eyes almost vacant, giving me no indication of what he’s planning to say.

“Okay…” I croak as my heart skips a beat.

“I’m moving back here.” His tone is flat, holding no emotion, and my breath stills as I try to process his news. “We’ll be back in a couple weeks. But all day you’ve been pointing out that we’re not friends anymore, and I want you to know my return doesn’t change that. You were right, it’s better if I just leave you alone. Goodbye, Cat.”

Every part of me feels numb as I blink at him. My ears ring as he steps away from my car without another word.

28

Lawrence

9 Years Ago

My gaze wanders to the pew two rows back, an uncontrollable smile spreading across my face as my eyes land on Cat again. It’s been seven years, seven very long years since I’ve been in the same room as her. She looks incredible. Her baby face matured, her wild mane tamed into perfect curls, and the curves she once kept hidden are now on display.

She seems nervous, though, her eyes staying forward as she fidgets in her seat. I try again to get her attention without my date noticing, waving. Cat’s back straightens against the wooden pew as color fills her cheeks, but she acts as if she hasn’t seen me. Her mother looks at me with pity in her eyes and gives me a sad smile, leaning over to whisper to Cat. It isn’t hard to figure out what she’s telling her, especially when Cat shakes her head, but her mother gives me an apologetic shrug.

Cat’s been able to evade me all these years, and that isn’t easy to do in this small town, but I stupidly thought today would be different. I knew she wouldn’t miss Caroline’s wedding, not even to avoid me. What I hadn’t anticipated was her still being upset enough to ignore me, or that I would care so much.

It wasn’t easy to let Cat go and took me a long time, but I did move on. At least I thought I had, until I laid eyes on her again. When she walked into the room, I felt more alive than I had in years. It’s like everything in my life has been muted without her.

“Hey.” Robbie turns to me as I tap on his shoulder. “Did you see Cat’s here?”

He shrugs, putting his arm around his wife’s shoulders, who looks back at Cat with hatred in her eyes.

Cat and Robbie were still close friends when he started dating Jasmine in high school, and Jasmine wasn’t very happy about it. She’s always been extremely jealous and possessive of Robbie. If I were him, I would wonder if she was always worried about him cheating because she herself is a cheater.

“Who’s Cat?” Melissa asks.

Guilt knots in my stomach as I turn to my date and flash her a smile. “She’s an old friend.”

Robbie’s wife scoffs. “More like an old girlfriend.”

Melissa’s eyes narrow, and she crosses her arms. “Why are you so excited to see your old girlfriend?”

Robbie snickers beside me as I rub the back of my neck. I catch Cat watching me, but she quickly averts her eyes once she realizes she’s been caught.

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