Page 35 of In Too Deep

I’m not feeling brave enough to look at her yet, but I hear her sharp intake of breath. “I really like you too,” she replies, her voice shaky.

My tense muscles relax a little, but the hardest hurdle is still ahead of me.

“Good. Then, how would you feel about maybe going on a real date with me?”

She stiffens next to me, and the crickets seem to become insanely loud. Each second that passes feels like a lifetime, but I’m too terrified to push her.

The defeated breath she releases doesn’t do anything to ease my worries. Letting go of my hand, she sits up and draws her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs.

“I don’t think that would be a good idea.”

“Why?” I demand, shooting up. “Caroline used me to make Andrew jealous, and Robbie is talking to that Angela girl now.”

Her head turns in my direction, her eyes sad as they meet mine. “They’re only part of my concern. If we date, it could ruin our friendship, and I don’t want to lose you.”

“I’ve already told you that isn’t going to happen.”

Her shoulders rise as she takes a deep breath, falling as she averts her gaze. “I’m sorry. I just can’t.”

My head swims as I try to figure out what’s going on in her mind. Maybe I’ve been reading our relationship all wrong. Perhaps she sees me the same way she does Robbie, as nothing more than a friend.

Before I can respond, my mother pulls into the driveway. Sighing, I come to my feet and offer her my hand. She looks at it before her surprised eyes meet mine, placing her palm in mine as I give her a tight smile.

She clears her throat as she stands. “You’ll call me when you get home?”

My heart clenches as I nod, fearing things are about to change between us. She launches herself at me, wrapping me into a tight hug. She’s never done this before, at least not like this. Cat usually isn’t the one to initiate contact. I’m concerned she’s doing it out of guilt or fear, but I return her embrace, and a peace washes over me as I hold her in my arms.

We’re going to be okay.

Catelyn

My stomach drops, and I feel sick. “You want me to do what?”

Lawrence sighs, blowing his exasperated breath into the receiver on the phone. “Please, KitKat. I know it’s a lot to ask, but Candice is insecure and she’s jealous of my relationship with you.”

After I told Lawrence I couldn’t date him, he started dating other girls, much to my dismay. And they’re always the worst. They’re all cheating, jealous, vapid girls. And extremely skinny, don’t let me forget that. Basically, they’re the total opposite of me. It makes me question if he ever really liked me in the first place. It’s been the worst kind of torture, having to listen to him talk about all these other girls. But it’s my job as his buddy.

When he asked me to go on a date with him, I panicked. Negative thoughts flooded my mind. Caroline and Robbie hating me. Robbie not being friends with Lawrence anymore. Lawrence and I breaking up and him never speaking to me again. Then there were the thoughts of not being good enough for him, that I’m not pretty enough or thin enough. In a manner of seconds, I managed to let my fear talk me out of something I really wanted.

Now, it’s too late. I’ve been permanently placed in the friendzone.

My only saving grace through all this is Lawrence doesn’t bring his girlfriends around me. I don’t think I could stomach seeing him with these girls. Though, Robbie and Caroline both seem to delight in telling me all about them.

“And you think having me tell this girl we’re just friends is going to change that?” I mock.

What she probably wants is for him to stop calling me every night. I’m still the last call he makes, and he often hangs up with her to call me. She’s tried crying, screaming, and even calling him while he’s on the phone with me. But he won’t budge.

“It can’t hurt. I mean, she doesn’t believe me. She thinks we used to date.”

I grind my teeth, punching the pillow in my lap. “Even if we did, what does it matter? She’s your girlfriend now, why is she worried about me?”

“Well…” He sucks in a breath through his teeth, “It’s probably my fault.”

“What do you mean?”

“I might’ve said something that upset her.”

“You might have?” I jeer. “Like what?”

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