Page 15 of In Too Deep

My head tilts and lips purse, as if giving his statement some serious consideration. “Fair enough.”

I consider myself to be an even-tempered person, but he always had a way of easily getting me hot under the collar. Maybe I had the same effect on him. Every emotion I felt with him seemed to be more heightened.

Lawrence’s gaze is intense as he pushes off the desk, his eyes holding mine hostage as he takes a seat next to me again. Our closeness fills me with nervousness, and my back straightens as I scoot to the edge of the couch, allowing me to get up quickly if needed.

“I wasn’t all bad, right? I mean, we had some good times together. Didn’t we?”

The sorrow in his tone causes my chest to tighten, and my eyes fall to my lap where I’m wringing my hands. “Yeah, we did.”

He places a hand over mine, stilling me. “I’m really sorry, you know. For the way things ended with us. If I could—”

He stops as I shake my head, icy panic shooting through my veins as my gaze lifts to meet his. “We don’t need to go there, Lawrence. It was so many years ago. We were just kids back then. I moved on a long time ago.”

His mouth quirks into a crooked smile as he studies me. “Did you?”

His arrogant question causes anger to bubble inside me, and I rush to my feet. “I think you should take me back to my car now.”

He sighs, his shoulders sagging and head dropping as he shakes it. For a moment, I think he’s going to try to keep me here. But he stands, gesturing for me to go ahead without a word or glance in my direction. Feeling freaked and desperate to get away from him now, I hurry toward the exit with Lawrence right behind me. As soon as we reach the door, Lawrence stretches past me and places his hand on it, keeping me from opening it.

“Lawrence?” I caution.

He lets out a long breath that brushes through my hair. “Please, just give me one more minute.”

I whirl around, crossing my arms as I face him. “Why are you doing this?”

His eyes search mine as his arm falls back to his side, but he continues to invade my space. “I can’t let you go without knowing.”

“Knowing what?” The lump growing in my throat from my suppressed emotions causes my question to come out as a whisper.

All the air leaves my lungs as he reaches up to sweep the hair away from my face, his fingers twirling through the ringlet at the end. “Do you ever think of me? Do you ever think about us? Don’t you wonder what things would be like if we’d fought for each other?”

My eyes narrow at him as I bat his hand away. “What kind of questions are those?”

“Pretty simple ones, KitKat. I can easily say I’ve thought about you. I’ve wondered how you were, if you were happy. It’s kept me up at night speculating if there’s someone in your life. It haunts me thinking you’re out there giving your love to someone else.”

“So, what?” I sneer, my hand landing on my hip. “You’ve been hoping I was miserable and alone all these years? Well, sorry to disappoint you. My answer is no, I don’t think about you. And this is not an appropriate conversation because I do have someone who loves me.”

“You see,” he drawls, his face looking smug as he scratches his head, “what I find interesting is you didn’t say someone you love.” My heart beats frantically on my chest as he leans in closer, his eyes seemingly peering inside my head. “And…I don’t believe you. I think you’ve thought about me. The truth is in your eyes, it’s in the tremble rocking through your body right now.”

My chest heaves as I try to catch my breath, fury building in me like a volcano getting ready to rupture. I hate that he’s right and can see through my falsehoods.

“You’re wrong,” I shout, shoving his shoulder. “I couldn’t stand the thought of you. You broke my heart and made me feel as if I never meant anything to you. I didn’t think about you because I couldn’t. It hurt too damn much.”

His face falls, his shoulders slumping as he sighs. “God, Cat…I’m so sorry.” I gasp as he captures my hands with his and closes the space between us, pulling them to his chest. “I was an idiot, but you know that isn’t true. You meant the world to me. I never cared for anyone the way I did you. I loved you. I still love you.”

“No, don’t say that. Don’t you dare say that.” Yanking my hands free, I push him back again. “It’s not true. Your comments earlier about falling in love when you’re young proved that.”

He rolls his eyes, his nostrils flaring with his deep breath. “Come on, Cat. You knew I was lying. I just wanted to gage your reaction, and I saw the hurt and anger on your face. You still care. Those feelings are still very much there.”

“Bullshit,” I spit. “I don’t believe that for a second, but even if it were true, it doesn’t matter because you’re mistaken. I don’t feel that way about you anymore. You took care of that years ago.”

“You sure about that, KitKat?” He pins me with his eyes as he closes in on me again, and I press my back into the door.

“Yes…” I hiss.

“You really think what happened between us didn’t hurt me too? You weren’t completely innocent in everything.” My shoulders square, and he lets out a defeated moan, taking a step back. “Why can’t you just be honest with me?”

“Fine, you want to know the truth? I think about you all the time. I’ve wondered what being in a real relationship with you would be like, imagining we’d be explosive in the best possible way. I’ve dreamed of your touch and envisioned what it would be like to make love to you. Is that what you want to hear?”

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