Page 9 of In Too Deep

“Seems like a good way to get your heart broken. I’ll bet it’s less common for those people to stay together. What do we even really know about love when we’re that young?”

I gape at him, wishing I could shoot daggers from my eyes. My blood feels like it’s on fire, my heart squeezed by my tightening chest. I’d almost forgotten about his uncanny ability to hurt me with such little effort.

“Actually,” I grit, “young love is the purest kind of love. It’s sincere and raw. When you’re young and in love, the only thing that matters is how they make you feel. You love simply and completely, no strings or expectations.”

He hums and scratches at the slight stubble on his chin, his eyes averting to the ground where he’s kicking at the dirt. When they lift to meet mine again, there’s an intensity that wasn’t there before.

“Are you speaking from personal experience?”

My stomach drops as my tongue dries, and I shrug.

He lips curve into a frown as if he’d been hoping I’d say out loud what he already knows to be true. “Well, you certainly seem to have a good thing going for you now.”

My ears ring as I blink at him, the shock of his statement taking a toll on my senses. I should be more thrilled for a chance to rub my relationship with Spencer in his face, especially now, but I was not prepared for this topic. I had no clue Lawrence even knew about him.

My mouth opens, then promptly shuts again. A part of me wants to deny it, to downplay my relationship with Spencer, but he’s right. Spencer and I do have a good thing. We have a great thing. He’s amazing, far too good for me. I think knowing that is why it’s so hard to admit what we have.

I shift on my feet and nod. “Yeah. I guess I do.”

His jaw tics as he averts his eyes, and a blanket of stillness falls over us again.

Dave and Sarah’s neighbor walks over to where we’re standing, or at least I’m assuming she’s their neighbor. I’ve never seen the woman before. She wasn’t one of the many faces to come and go throughout the day. The woman is crying and offering her condolences as if she knows us and the family well, but when I glance over at Lawrence, he’s wearing the same clueless expression.

Without warning, the woman opens her arms and pulls us both into a hug. Although I don’t have an issue with hugging like Lori, I do have a serious aversion to strangers touching me. But given the circumstances of the day, I decide to suck it up and return her embrace. Only, I’m not expecting or prepared for Lawrence’s hand to land on top of mine. Especially not for it to travel up my arm, his fingers caressing me as he goes. Most of all, I’m not ready for the electric shockwave his touch sends through my body. It’s so powerful it causes me to gasp as I scurry back away from them.

The vibrations from his touch wreak havoc on my body. Every part of me is buzzing, making me feel like I can’t catch my breath.

The emotions he stirred in me when he walked through the door today were one thing, but this…this is something else entirely. This is my body having a physical reaction to him. This, the feeling deep in the pit of my stomach, at my very core, is bad.

The woman excuses herself, and Lawrence’s gaze turns to me, his expression mirroring the panic in mine.

He felt it too. That connection we had once shared is still there, the one we hadn’t been able to deny despite our efforts.

Lizzy once told me about an ancient Chinese proverb that says there’s an invisible red thread connecting those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. Apparently, this thread can stretch and tangle, but it will never break. She believes it’s what caused her to feel drawn to Brenden the instant they met, like they had always been connected and fated to be together.

I’m not sure I believe in such nonsense, but if that’s what’s happening here, it ends now. Just because a thread won’t break on its own doesn’t mean you can’t take some scissors and cut that bitch.

6

The vibration of my phone startles me, my heart racing even faster when I see Spencer’s name flashing across the screen. Even though I hadn’t technically done anything wrong outside, it still felt like I had.

I step out of the kitchen into the empty hall to answer his call. “Hey.”

“Hey, I’m sorry I missed your text earlier.” He sounds tired, or like maybe something is bothering him. “Are you on the way home?”

Several people make their way past me, forcing me to move into the entryway to the living room where Lawrence is sitting, and I lower my voice as I respond. “No. I’ll probably be here for a little while longer.”

“Wow. That’s a long day. How are things going?”

My eyes flicker to Lawrence then back down to my shoes. “Well…Dave passed away about an hour ago, but they haven’t come to get the body yet. I don’t want to leave Caroline until it’s all over.”

“How are you holding up?” His voice drips with apprehension and concern.

A few months ago, Spencer witnessed first-hand how overly sensitive I can be after my elderly neighbor from up the street passed away. He couldn’t understand how I could be so upset over someone I’d never even met. But I observed her for years as she worked in her yard and took walks around the neighborhood, waving as I passed by and wondering about the stories behind her tattoos. It was heartbreaking the way she just wasn’t there anymore. So, the day we drove by and I saw someone had thrown all her possessions out on her lawn as if there was no one who loved her, I broke down in tears.

“Oh, you know…I’ve had better days, but I know a few people who are having a much worst day than me.”

“Please tell me you’ve at least eaten something.”

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