Page 8 of In Too Deep

My gaze stays focused on Leah as Lawrence steps up next to me. “Hey, baby girl, what’s up?”

“Well, I’m hanging out with Aunt Cat because she was standing out here all alone.” Her hand lands on her hips as she twists her mouth, and I bite down on my lip to keep from laughing. She doesn’t hold punches. I love that about her.

“Oh yeah? You better be careful hanging out with this one…” He places a hand on my shoulder, lightly squeezing it as he playfully shoves me. A wave of heat crashes over me from the unexpected contact, coloring my cheeks as I turn to look at him. “She’s trouble.”

Unable to keep the smile off my face, I scoff. “Whatever, don’t listen to him.” I pull my gaze away from Lawrence to focus on Leah again, who’s watching us with curiosity. “He used to love hanging out with me.”

Lawrence removes his hand from my shoulder as Leah laughs. When I allow my gaze to slide back over to him, he doesn’t look amused. Instead, he’s staring at me as if I’d said something upsetting.

“Yep, that’s true, I did. That’s how I know she’s trouble.” There’s no humor in his tone, and the scowl on his face is full of blame, as if the way things ended between us had been my fault.

He walks away without another word, and my jaw drops, anger swirling in my gut. Falling in love with Lawrence was never part of the plan, but he made me feel like no one ever had, and I truly believed he loved me too. I thought what we had was special, that I was important to him. Then he cut me out of his life as if I never mattered to him at all. If either of us should be walking away all moody, it’s me.

5

Mia’s tiny arms squeeze tightly around my waist, though it’s my heart that feels it. “I miss him so much,” she cries.

Dave passed away about thirty minutes ago. You could’ve heard a pin drop in that room as we all waited and listened for him to take that final breath. It was agonizing to watch, his three kids holding each other on one side while his wife and brother sat on the other.

Sarah was a picture of strength during those last moments, but once it was over, she broke down. She kept repeating how she didn’t want them to take him away. Heartbreaking doesn’t even come close to describing how it felt to witness her pain.

After that, it felt like the entire house collapsed down around me. I had to get out of there. As I headed toward my car, Mia came chasing after me, begging me not to leave. Caroline’s middle child has always been the most emotional of the three, and today has been no exception. I promised her I wasn’t going anywhere, and I’ve spent the last five minutes consoling her as she cried.

She releases her hold and takes a step back to meet my gaze, her deep brown eyes filled with agony. “What if he didn’t know how much I love him, or what if he wasn’t proud of me?”

Swallowing the golf ball sized lump in my throat, I shake my head. “Your pop loved you very much, and he knew you loved him just as much in return. As far as being proud, I don’t think it would be possible for anyone not to be proud of the incredible young woman you are. You’re smart, beautiful, and have a kind heart. I’m extremely proud of you, and I don’t have any claim on you.”

She nods as I hand her another Kleenex, drying her face before giving me one more tight hug. I notice Lawrence standing a few feet away staring at us. This isn’t the first time I’ve caught him watching me today, a thoughtful expression on his face, like I’m a puzzle he’s trying to solve.

Mia pulls out of my embrace, and I turn my attention back to her. “Whenever you’re missing your pop, I want you to remember one thing: he’ll always be with you. He’ll always be right here,” I say, pointing to her heart. “He’ll always be a part of who you are.”

She gives me a sad smile as her cousin, Robbie’s oldest, Hannah, calls for her. Mia begins to walk over to Hannah, but quickly stops and rushes back over to me. “You promise you aren’t going to leave?” she asks, sounding panicked again.

I give her a warm smile and draw an X over my heart. “Cross my heart.”

Satisfied, Mia runs across the yard, and my eyes wander in search of Lawrence. He’s still rooted in the front yard, arms crossed. My feet begin to move in his direction, and he continues to watch me with an unapologetically probing gaze. It isn’t until I come to a stop next to him that he moves his glare to the house.

We awkwardly stand on the front lawn, both of us silent as the kids play around us, and I wonder what I’d been thinking coming over here in the first place.

I’m tempted to go back inside where it’s air conditioned. It feels like a hundred degrees out here, and what’s left of my makeup is slowly melting off my face. August heat and humidity in the south is absolute hell. It would probably help if I were dressed for summer instead of fall. My jeans, plaid button down, and black Converse aren’t exactly helping to keep me cool. When you’re a body conscious freak like me, hot weather is not your friend.

Going back inside isn’t an option, though. I just can’t. Not yet.

“I was good until Sarah lost it.” Lawrence’s voice rips into the silence.

Clearing my throat, I turn my head to meet his gaze and tuck my hair behind my ear.

“Yeah...” I nod. “Same here. I can’t even imagine what she must be going through. Meeting and falling in love with your soulmate when you’re only thirteen just to end up losing them like this.”

My emotion begins choking me, and I pull my eyes away from him.

He whistles. “Have they really been together that long?” Still unable to speak, I keep my eyes on the front of the house and nod. “Wow, that’s crazy. Who falls in love at thirteen?”

My head whips in his direction, my cheeks heating with anger, and he chuckles as he rubs the back of his neck. I’d fallen in love when I was only thirteen, with Lawrence. A fact he knows very well.

I take a deep breath, trying to keep my swirling emotions off my face, but his bunching forehead tells me I’m failing.

“It’s a lot more common than you might think,” I clip.

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