Page 52 of In Too Deep

A strange look crosses her features, almost as if she’s sad, and I wonder if something happened between her and Spencer.

Nodding, she draws an X over her heart with her finger. “You have my word.”

My stomach churns as I avert my eyes, and Lori follows close beside me as I push the cart farther down the aisle. “I think Spencer is planning to propose.”

When I look to Lori for her reaction, she’s like a deer in headlights, her eyes widening and posture straightening. “What makes you think that?” she asks, trying to deflect, but it’s too late.

My mouth drops open as I stop dead in my tracks. “Oh. My. God,” I screech. “He is, and you knew.”

She begins to shake her head, but quickly gives up her feign protest, huffing as she rolls her eyes. “What if he is?” She shrugs. “Isn’t that what you want? I mean, I’d think someone like you, someone who’s so in love with the idea of marriage and happily ever after, would jump at the chance to marry a guy like Spencer.”

The bite in her tone makes it clear to me where she stands. My cheeks heat as I begin moving down the aisle again. “Don’t you think it’s a little early for him to be talking marriage?”

Her laugh is condescending, and I’m half tempted to knock the Starbucks out of her hand as she takes a sip of it. “When is it an appropriate time to get married? You’ve technically been dating longer than Lizzy and Brenden and they’re already married. Hell, my sister married Eric, and she’s only been back in Tennessee for eight months. The ink on her divorce papers is barely even dry.”

“Both of those situations are different, and you know it,” I snap.

If Spencer were anyone else, she wouldn’t even be entertaining the idea of me marrying a man I’ve only known for nine months.

“Cut the bullshit, Cat. What’s really the problem here? If you don’t want to be with Spencer, you need to tell him. There’s no point in continuing—”

“It’s not that,” I say, cutting her off. She seemed almost hopeful, as if she wants me to break things off with him, but I push the thought away. “I want to be with Spencer. I’m just not sure he’ll still want to be with me if he ever finds out what I did.”

As soon as I admit that out loud, I want to take it back. She grabs the cart, forcing me to stop, and I look over at her through hooded eyes.

She searches my face, panic etched in her features. “What are you talking about? What happened?”

My throat swells, threatening to cut off my air supply. “Lawrence.”

She jerks as if I struck her. Lawrence has been the topic of our conversations many times over the years. She’s fully aware of how I feel about him. Right now, she’s probably remembering the things I said about Lawrence that day at Dave’s and piecing it all together.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” she hisses, anger filling her face. “The guy broke your heart years ago, and now you have this great guy who’s good to you. How could you cheat on him with that asshat?”

“You don’t think I feel like utter shit?” My voice is strained as tears roll down my cheeks, and her expression softens. “Things are more complicated than right and wrong, bad and good. It’s not like I intended for anything to happen.”

I brace myself for more harsh words, comments about how that’s what cheaters always say. Instead, she wraps me in her arms, and I begin to sob.

“I was so afraid you would hate me too,” I confess. “Every day that passes feels like added weight on my soul. I’m starting to feel like I can’t breathe.”

She comforts me in the middle of the aisle, and I thank God the store is nearly empty. She leans back to meet my gaze. “I could never hate you, Cat. You’re my best friend, my sister. I will love you until the end of time. Nothing you could ever do would change that.” She pauses, and I nod as more tears fall. “But…Spencer is my friend too. You need to tell him what happened. Keeping this from him won’t be good for either of you.”

My heart clenches as I realize what I need to do. “I know. You’re right, and I’m going to tell him.”

But first, I need to officially end things with Lawrence.

31

Lawrence

My phone buzzes, and excitement courses through my veins as the screen lights up with Cat’s name. She’s responded to all my texts over the past couple of days, but she’s never initiated contact, and we haven’t spoken on the phone at all. Quickly throwing away the remainder of my frozen dinner, I slide my thumb across the screen to answer.

“Hey, KitKat.” My attempt to convey a calm demeanor is a total flop. My greeting sounds like it came from a nervous, adolescent boy.

“Where are you?”

My stomach twists from the panic in her tone, her voice strained like she’s been crying. As much as I hate the thought of her being upset, I can’t help hoping she’s calling about ending her relationship with Spencer. I’m trying to be patient. It’s only been a couple days. But I never thought I’d be here again, sitting on the sidelines, hoping she’ll realize we belong together.

“I’m at home,” I tell her. “What’s up? Are you okay?”