Page 17 of In Too Deep

My voice is choppy and breathless, giving away the panicked state of my mind. Only twelve hours ago, my tongue was down his throat, and now he’s here at my home.

He smirks, scratching at the stubble on his chin. “Built-ins remember?”

“You’re here about the built-ins?” My forehead creases, and I breathe in his intoxicating scent as the wind blows it inside. “Shouldn’t you have called to set up an appointment?”

Nodding, he licks his lips before rubbing them together, and my heart rate picks up as I try to stay focused on his eyes. “Normally I would, yes. But I was worried you wouldn’t answer or return my call.”

My hand lands on my hip. “So, you thought you’d show up here unannounced instead?”

“I didn’t want you to let anything that happened last night get in the way of finally getting those built-ins,” he answers, shrugging. “Can I please come in?”

Going against my better judgement again, I move back and gesture for him to come inside. It isn’t until he crosses the threshold that I remember I’m not dressed properly for company. His eyes roam over my body in a way that causes my nipples to harden as I close the door.

Crossing my arms to cover my chest, I turn and head toward the living room. “This way.”

Following on my heels, he sighs. “Are we going to talk about last night or just pretend it didn’t happen?”

My muscles tense up, and I shake my head. If pretending last night never happened is an option, I choose that.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say as we enter the living room, walking straight over to the far wall. “I would like to have built-ins on both sides of the fireplace. Floor to ceiling would be good. Maybe some additional storage at the bottom.”

When he doesn’t respond, I cautiously look over my shoulder at him. His expression is pleading and desperate, and my chest tightens.

“Come on, Cat. I think we should talk about this.”

Turning to face him, I take a calming breath. “And I thought you were here about my built-ins.”

“No, you didn’t.” He takes one large step, putting him in my personal space. My breathing gets shallow as he pulls my arms from my body and takes my hands in his. “I’ll build you some damn bookshelves free of charge, but please talk to me. Don’t shut me out.”

My throat bobs as I try to swallow the huge lump forming, my head shaking as I free myself from his hold. “I don’t know what you think we need to talk about. Last night shouldn’t have happened, and it won’t happen again.”

His eyes flutter as he groans. “Look, I’m not here hoping for anything like last night. I came here because I want you to know our time together and that kiss meant something to me. I want you to know everything I said was true. I loved you then, and that hasn’t changed.”

There’s such a sincerity in his tone, his eyes conveying vulnerability and honesty as I stare into them. Or maybe I merely want to believe him. I’m desperate for it to be true because I want him. Either way, my walls begin to come down, falling like dominos as my heart tries to convince my mind to let this happen.

“This is insane.” I throw my hands up, letting them fall with a thud back at my sides. “What you’re saying is insane. Before last night, we hadn’t even seen each other in years, and we hadn’t spoken to each other in well over a decade. I don’t know if you remember the way things ended between us, but it wasn’t pretty. And now, you’re standing in my living room talking about loving me. It’s too much.”

I’m panting as I finish my rant, my entire body trembling as he reaches up to caress my cheek, tucking my hair behind my ear. A painful, aching need builds, causing my lower abdomen to quake and center to heat.

“It may be crazy, but that doesn’t make it wrong.” His voice is seductively smooth. It’s such a contrast to the chaos going on inside me. I find myself gravitating toward him. His hands land on my hips as I get closer. “I’ll admit I was shocked when I saw you yesterday. I didn’t expect my feelings for you to be so strong. I thought I could block it out, that they would fade in time. Then, watching you drive away…it brought back the pain I felt all those years ago. That day has haunted me, and I’ve wished a million times I could take it back. I swore to myself, if given the chance, I’d tell you how I really felt. Then I quietly stood by as you drove away a second time. When I saw your car parked at the Trading Post, I felt like God was giving my dumb ass one more chance to make it right. I wasn’t sure how you felt about me, but I had to try. Then you kissed me.” He sucks in a breath, his grip on me tightening as I press my body into his. “You feel this connection between us too, and I can’t just let you walk away.”

“I don’t think I want to walk away,” I breathe, admitting it to myself as much as him.

He leans in, his mouth only inches from mine, his breath brushing across my lips. “What do you want?”

Him.

Right now, there’s nothing more I want in this world than to feel his soft lips on mine again. Much like last night, my mouth crashes into his without warning, my kiss devouring as our tongues tangle. Somewhere in my subconscious, I know this is wrong. But I’m too consumed by him to care, so lost in years of longing I can’t see past it.

He jerks away from me, breaking our kiss. “Whoa, whoa, whoa…” His breathing is heavy as he takes a step back, holding up his hand to keep me at bay. “That was…wow…” He blinks and blows out a puff of air, shaking his head as if trying to clear it. “But maybe we should take a second here.”

He’s right, but if I allow myself time to process what I’m doing, it won’t happen. I don’t want to think about the right and wrong of it all, or what tomorrow might bring.

I just want to be in this moment with him before it slips through my fingers.

I have no intention of stopping at a kiss this time.

His features dance with amused curiosity as I slowly close the gap between us again, taking his hands and placing them on my hips. I plant my palms on his chest, allowing them to roam over his pecks and down the ridges of his taut abdomen. He sucks in a breath as my hands slip under his t-shirt, my fingertips trailing around the waistband of his jeans before settling on his back.

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