Page 106 of Never Tear Us Apart

“Yeah,” I say simply. “Does that bother you?”

He’s quiet for a moment and then nods. “Alright then, let’s do it.”

“Um, what?” I close my eyes, and shake my head, not sure I heard him right. “Say that again?”

“We tick off yours, then we do mine.”

He can’t be serious. “The library is back in Elmhurst.”

“It’s not that far of a drive,” he counters. “And I’m sure our parents would love to see us considering they were gone the whole time we were there.”

I sit back and look at him, surprised he would share me with anyone. “Are you kidding?”

“Maybe I need that to move on.” He looks down, picking at an invisible piece of lint. “See you with someone else so I get it through my thick skull you’re not mine anymore.”

The pit in my stomach at the mention of him moving on makes me feel things I don’t want to feel. “Well,” I push aside the unwelcome emotion, “as much as I’m willing to entertain yourlittle sex with Ellery in the library dream, I don’t think you, me, and a third is something I want to do.”

“No?” His eyes grow wide with curiosity. “Why not?”

“Because I know you, Cruz. It would eat away at you, and I don’t want that. For you, or us. If there is ever a chance of us being friends, we have to—”

Cupping my neck with one hand, he pulls me toward him with the other, and kisses me, pulling the air right out of my lungs. “You’re right,” he says breathlessly. “Just saying it hurts.”

“Then why did you?” I place my hand on his chest and lean into the kiss.

“Because…” he whispers against my lips. “I have to find a way to let you go.”

I grip his shirt and twist it, then pull back slowly. “Watching me with someone else isn’t the answer.”

“It would kill me,” he admits, “it would. But I need to figure out some way to stop wanting you because I have to, Ellery.”

“Stop,” I shake my head, not wanting to talk about this anymore. The conversation had shifted in a way I didn’t expect, nor want.

Cruz wasn’t going back to Highland for a few more weeks and I didn’t want to deal with the reality of what happened once he did. Right now, I just wanted to spend time with him, without the hurt, and anger.

“Why?” He brings his head up and looks at me.

“Because I lied, okay.”

“You…what?” He looks at me, confused. “Why?”

I push up from the bed, needing to put space between us. “Because we are impossible and I don’t…”

My words trail off and he gets up and closes the space between us in mere steps. “You don’t, what?”

“I don’t want anyone else. You were my first, and I wanted you to be my last. That was my fifth. You, me, and forever.”

His lip hitches and slowly a beautiful smile starts to tug at his lips. “That’s not wet, Ellery. That’s just a dream.”

I can’t help but grin. “You obviously don’t know how I wanted to spend forever.”

He reaches for me, and I jump into his arms, wrapping my legs around his waist as he lowers me to the bed.

“This has to stop,” I grip his face while kissing him. “We have to stop letting each other in deeper.”

“I know,” he moans, while trailing his lips slowly down my neck. “But I can’t.”

As he moves his mouth down the hollow of my throat, I run one hand down his back and the other up to his head, grabbing a fistful of hair.

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