Page 84 of Never Leave, Never Lie

Alek

Quickly, Ian expanded the rest of the email. Alek had contacted Mercer Llewyn first, shortly after he fell.

ML,

I’m finally ready to put together that will you’ve pestered me endlessly about.

Alek

That seemed reasonable. A near-death experience might have inspired Alek to get his affairs in order. Ian read on.

Can I call you?

-ML

Alek replied:

You may.

The following day, Mercer Llewyn sent back a response with a file attached.

E-sign this and you’re good to go.

Alek’s next response came a few weeks later.

ML,

I’d like for you to add an additional benefactor. Sara Stewart. $250,000 to be used to pay the remaining balance of her mortgage. Another 500K for her, as well. Say it’s for bespoke clothing… because it will amuse me.

Alek

That fucking prick.

ML had written back a single word:

Done.

It wasn’t concrete proof, but it was enough to quell his guilt.

Forget Alek’s plans. Ian had a plan of his own. He’d almost gone through with it that afternoon, but had been too afraid, because his plan was another lie. Another betrayal. One too big for Alek to forgive. It would make Alek hate him. It would ruin things between them, but he had no other choice.

35

ALEK

Showers used to be a very productive time for Alek. His mind would weave webs of music, turn thoughts into sound, spin memory into melody. But now showers were just showers—no stroke of genius, only circling sad thoughts.

Alek would leave that night. It was time. The decision made him feel a hundred pounds lighter. His suffering was nearly over.

Soon they’d both be free.

After Ian fell asleep, Alek would take his uncle’s piano key, and something to remember Ian by—a sweater or a shirt he’d worn so he could smell cedar and summer-baked pine and love and the only thing that ever mattered one last time.

He wouldn’t need anything else where he was going.

Ian still hadn’t returned from wherever he’d sulked off to. Ordinarily, Alek would have worried. Had Ian left? Had Ian left him? Left him for good? But Ian had become as codependent and afraid of abandonment as Alek was, which was another reason why he had to leave.

He toweled himself off and pulled on a pair of sweatpantsand a tee. He usually slept in the nude, but it’d be easier to slip away if he was already dressed. Hopefully, Ian would attribute the change to some other antidepressant-induced peculiarity or the air conditioner that chilled their room.

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