Page 61 of Never Leave, Never Lie

Ian cleaned them both up and dressed, then joined Alek, who hadn’t moved from his position, flat on his stomach with his limbs sprawled wide like a ragdoll thrown on the ground.

“You okay?” Ian cleared his throat. He hoped Alek hadn’t noticed the way his voice shook.

With his eyes still closed, Alek answered, “I think I’m still coming.”

Even as shaken as he was, Ian grinned. “You’re not still coming.”

“Shh.” Alek rolled to his side and pulled Ian into his arms.

Shade shielded their bodies and the wind whispered softlythrough the treetops. Finches called as they flitted between trees. Alek’s breathing was deep and even, already asleep behind him. The moment should have been peaceful, but all Ian felt was trapped. He wouldn’t risk waking Alek, though. Alek had only slept ten hours in the last three days.

Ian was a firm believer that as long as he worked hard, he could have whatever he wanted. That was the American Dream. It was what was fair. If he put in the time and effort, things should work out. But life wasn’t fair and maybe he was banging his head against a brick wall that he’d never be able to climb over or break through.

Ian woketo Alek straddling him. The sky had turned light gray and the wind that gusted around them was spiked with an icy chill. Ian hadn’t meant to fall asleep. He must have succumbed out of pure exhaustion.

Alek leaned forward. A lock of hair hung down over his brow and his eyes smoldered with mischief.

“What’s up?” Ian yawned as he tried to clear the haze of sleep from his thoughts.

“You’ve been taking such good care of me.” Alek rained kisses down Ian’s neck and nipped over his collarbone. “I think it’s time I return the favor.”

Ian tensed. “There’s no favor for you to return.”

Alek sat up and narrowed his eyes. “Why does it feel like I’m trying to convince you to let me blow you?”

“I’m sorry. It’s not you, it’s?—”

“If you’re about to say what I think you are, you’d better choose a more original statement.”

“Sorry. I’m just…” Ian cringed. “I thought I was ready for this.”

“I don’t understand. You were happy to tongue-fuck my ass but you draw the line at reciprocal blow jobs?”

“I thought I was over the things you put me through—I forgive you, but I can still remember my heart breaking.”

Alek’s brows darted together. “But none of it was real.”

“It was real to me,” Ian said with more anger than he’d intended. He took a deep breath and in a controlled voice continued, “You spent weeks torturing me. It’s messing with my head.”

“You let me think my head injury was the problem. I knew something was going on with you.” Alek shook his head in disgust. “You should have told me. Here I am telling you things I don’t even let myself think about, and you can’t tell me this? I would have backed off. I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do.” Alek pressed his fingertips to his temple. “I cannot believe I have to say this, but keep your hands off of me until you’re touching me because you want to. Don’t do me any favors. Don’t pay me back for my honesty with sex you’re not even into. If the only reason you touched me was to reward me for answering your question or to put me out of my misery, then I’d rather you not touch me at all.”

“That’s not what—” But that was exactly what Ian had been doing, wasn’t it? “I’m so sorry.” He tried to wrap Alek back up against him but Alek pinned him down with a hand to his shoulder.

“You expect me to tell the truth, but you’re lying to yourself,” Alek said. “You think you want me, but you don’t. You think I’m worth loving, but I’m not. You say you’ll never leave, but you will.”

“I won’t,” Ian insisted.

“And that’s the biggest lie of them all.” He climbed off of Ian and rose to his feet.

“Alek, wait.” Ian moved to follow.

“No. It’s my turn to leave in the middle of an argument.” Alek pulled on his pants. “I’m going to practice. Do not follow.”

“Please stay. Let me explain. I don’t want you to go.”

“Now you know how it feels.” Alek turned and disappeared down the path.

28

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