Page 137 of Failure to Match

My heart threatened to burst at that, expanding to four times its normal size. Then he said, “We can add it to the contract,” and it deflated like a cartoon balloon, puddling lamely in the pit of my stomach.

Right.

Of course.

I sniffled and wiped at my cheeks, blinking away from him. I was so raw that the mere mention of the stupid contract made my chest ache all over again.

“Jamie, please just tell me what’s wrong.”

“It’s nothing. I’m just having a bad day.”

When another tear escaped, he leaned forward and kissed it away. It was horrible. I was fighting a losing battle, and it was only a matter of time before I ripped my heart straight out of my own chest and voluntarily presented it to him, knowing he’d crush it.

“Remember what we said about the whole affection thing?” I tried.

“You also said we were friends,” he murmured with another soft press of his lips against my skin. “Am I not allowed to comfort you when you’re upset?”

My throat worked as I tried my best to contain the emotion clawing at it. “I know... I know you think that the whole friendship thing with us is a joke, I know you don’t take it at all seriously, but just soyouknow, I don’t think of it that way. At all.” And right now, right here, it was really important to me that he understood that.

“I care about you, okay?” I said, my voice wobbly. “Very much. And I want you to be happy and fulfilled and... honestly, I think you’re really awesome. Like you’re funny, and you’re charming, andkind. You try to hide it but you’re all of those things, and I’m sorry I misjudged you at the beginning. I’m sorry for how mean I was, which—oh, and for the whole disguise thing. That was really unprofessional and not nice, and I completely understand why you acted the way you did on the date. I also never thanked you for saving my life even though, like, you could have pushed me into the pool, and I don’t know if I’d even blame you for it? Because no one should be forced into a marriage they don’t want, and I’m also sorry that’s happening to you, but I can promise that, as your actual friend who cares about you, I will do my best to find you someone great.”

His eyes were sliding between mine, his frown ever-so-present. He opened his mouth, but I shook my head. I wasn’t done.

“I really think, like, if she has your sense of humor and a compatible lifestyle, it might not be so bad. But she’d also have to be on the same page as you about the whole romance thing, because otherwise it really wouldn’t be fair to her, and would probably create a big emotional mess for you by the year-end mark because, honestly, I think you’re a lot easier to fall in love with than you realize, and we really just need to make sure thatwe do our best to avoid any hearts being broken... and... you know…”

I trailed off, realizing what I’d just said. Nothing good ever came out of my mouth when it started running ahead of my brain, and I should have stopped when I’d noticed I was rambling. On the bright side, I’d said so many words in such a short amount of time that there was a good chance he’d missed?—

“You think I’m easy to fall in love with?” His voice was husky, quiet.

My cheeks flamed, sparks tingling over random patches of my skin, making it itch. I was tempted to laugh it off, punch his arm, and call him “buddy” so he knew how Not A Big Deal this was.

But what if... like what if that was something he genuinely needed to hear? What if there was a part of him that believed otherwise? What if he just needed someone who wasn’t on his payroll or interested in his money to tell him exactly how great and awesome and loveable he really was?

What was more important? That or my stupid pride?

“Very,” I said. “You’d be insanely easy to fall in love with, Jackson. For all the reasons I said and so much more. Just look at how thoughtful you are. Look at this.” I pointed at the sushi. They were messy, unevenly cut, and slowly falling apart, and it waskillingme. “Do you understand how adorable this is?”

He wouldn’t look at it though. Wouldn’t take his eyes off me.

“Listen to me so carefully right now.” I grabbed his face and pulled it closer, pressing my forehead to his. I needed him to pay extra close attention to everything I was about to say. “You are about as loveable as it gets, Jackson Sinclair. You’reperfectexactly as you are right now, in this moment. I. Was. Wrong. I admit it with my whole heart. I was so wrong about you that it’s fucking embarrassing. And you want to know what else? If you ever end up changing your mind about this whole romancething, I think it’s really important that you understand how stupidly easy it would be for you to find someone who’d love the shit out of you for the rest of your life. That’s how loveable you are, Jackson.

“And just to be extra fucking clear on this, absolutelynoneof it has anything to do with how much money you have or what your last name happens to be. I mean, you gifted my cat a whole palace made out of cardboard! He’sobsessedwith it! And you put in all that effort just to make him more comfortable around you! And youlisten. You pay attention. You’re thoughtful. Smart. Witty. Fun. Beautiful. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg, isn’t it? I’ve known you for less than a month. Imagine how many more wonderful things there are about you to discover!” I stopped to catch my breath for a moment, running my thumbs over his cheeks like he’d done to me. “And as your friend—because Iamyour friend, Jackson—I think it’s imperative you know all of that, okay?”

He said nothing. His shoulders were tense, and his jaw was locked tight, but his grip on my waist was kept gentle and caring.

“I think you’re really awesome,” I whispered. “And I promise I’ll try my best to find you someone you like. I’m sorry Minerva’s putting you through this, and I’m sorry your dad left the shares to her stupid cat in the first place. You said before that you thought he and I would get along, and I... I’m sorry I ever called anything about you abysmally inadequate. That was so mean and untrue.”

He’d gotten it all the time from his dad, according to Molly’s journal. Nothing he ever did was good enough for Richard Sinclair and the consequences he’d suffered as a result had been cruel. I’d unknowingly rubbed salt into a major wound and I felt horrible about it.

Jackson wasn’t breathing very much anymore. His whole body had gone stiff, and I started to wonder how long it’d beensince someone had just... held him. Hugged and soothed him the way everyone sometimes needed. He’d been so quick to comfort me, but when was the last time someone had comforted him? When was the last time he’dletsomeone comfort him?

Slowly, I slid my arms around his shoulders and neck. Slowly, I pulled him into a gentle hug and closed my eyes.

“Remember how you wanted a bit of coaching on affection?” I whispered after a little while, smiling into his neck. “Well, usually when someone wraps their arms around you like this, you’ll want to do the same.”

Maybe that had been his way of asking for affection back. Maybe it was something he’d wanted but wasn’t sure how to voice. I wondered what his other “areas of concern” were.

“Other acceptable options include shoving them away or simply telling them to fuck off,” I offered.

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