Would it be weird to sniff him?
Yes, yes, it would.
I pulled away, and his arm tightened around me.
What happened? Did I fall asleep while he dried my hair? Oh, my God. I groaned as my heart raced.
Wait a minute!
He took me to his roomagain,and he was in bed with me. Why?
He could have put me on the couch, if he didn’t want to carry me up the stairs. My heart couldn’t handle that sort of proximity to Hudson. He was a lethal drug to my system, and I knew I’d become addicted. I had to be careful, or I could trust that he wasn’t like the men I’d seen all my life.
I wanted to lock up his goodness and throw away the key, so that no one else could have it. But Hudson wasn’t mine.You swore off men, remember, Genie?I couldn’t recall beyond that sensation rocking through me. I feared becoming more attached. I knew I had to leave him one day. I couldn’t play so dangerously with my feelings, especially when the emotions were about the person offering me a roof over my head.
God, I was so conflicted.
Hudson putting me in his bed only confused my heart and body more.
Pushing at his arm softly, I climbed out of his bed and tiptoed to my room. Hudson was my friend. He might be becoming my best one right along with Holly. When I left his home, I wanted to keep that ease between us. I wouldn’t take advantage of Hudson like I saw so many family members do Gran either.
THIRTY
HUDSON
Eugene left my bed before my alarm went off, and somehow, I hadn’t noticed.Fuck.Was I being too obvious about my intentions? Did I make her uncomfortable when I laid her on my bed? That was the last thing I wanted to do, but I couldn’t resist putting her there when she fell asleep. She had fallen back onto my chest while I dried her hair. It was difficult to finish, but I tried to get it as dry as I could before carrying her to my room.
I hadn’t let myself pull her close when I joined her on the bed. I had hoped I’d awaken with some part of her body draped over me, so being alone that morning was a bitter disappointment.
When she asked about her friend visiting, I made sure to take Saturday off, which shocked Randall and Daisy. Eugene had plans with Holly and Roger, and I included myself when I prepared breakfast. Eugene called them out about the previous night, and Holly chuckled, clearly pleased with herself.
Eugene didn’t bring up what I had done, and the disappointment deepened. If she had asked why I put her in my bed, what would I have said anyway? I knew I wanted her.I’d been ensnared by her the second she started calling my dog Bear. Despite how hard I tried to tell myself she wasn’t for me or my type, I knew the truth. Patience wasn’t something I excelled at when it came to what I wanted. When I finally realized I’d rather own a restaurant than be miserable at my father’s company, I put all my time and energy into making it happen.
My yearning for the woman currently getting her hair color touched up in my kitchen grew each day. I loved my restaurant, but fuck. Whenever she clocked out, I found it difficult to stay and finish my work. I was afraid I’d miss the opportunity to watch her read by the fireplace. For her to do so, I had to start the fire. That was how I justified leaving work early every day.
Then I wondered what she’d do when spring arrived. Would she want to read on the porch? Would I need to update my patio for her? Or would she prefer me to build her a reading nook in the cabin?
My world arrived in that ugly Kia last month. Every beat of my heart knew she was mine.There is no point in denying a heart, because when it knows, it knows.Mine had recognized hers as forever.
“Are you sure you’d rather not be at work?” Eugene’s voice pulled me from my thoughts.
I hadn’t really noticed her enter the main room until she spoke. She had a cap over her head as she stared down at my legs while I sat on the recliner. I hadn’t noticed how furiously I tapped my left slipper on the floor until I followed her gaze.
I stopped bouncing my leg. “Are you trying to get rid of me, Red?”
Her cheeks reddened. “No. You just seem restless.” She pointed to the leg, I continued to bounce.
I was fucking restless. Looking at her all day, every day, was maddening. It only made me want to claim her more. I couldn’t help but stare. I’d rather die than not see her at that point.
I was losing my damned mind because of Eugene. She didn’t seem to notice me at all, either. I putherinmybed. My fucking bed. Wasn’t I being obvious about my feelings?
I told myself I wouldn’t rush. I convinced myself I wasn’t being creepy. But I was doing both for someone I deeply cared about. The last thing I wanted was to make her uncomfortable, like she couldn’t be safe in my presence. I was losing control and didn’t know how to behave anymore.
Dragging my hand over my face, I rose from the chair and stretched. “What’s the plan for today?”
“Bowling, I suppose,” Holly answered. “Roger and I want to head home by five, so we figured food and competition.” Eugene groaned, slouching in her seat, which made Holly laugh. “Let’s go wash out the dye so, we can get this show on the road!”
???