Page 16 of Royal Surrogate 2

My breath catches in my throat, and I can’t bring myself to look my brother in the eye. I did. I did exactly what he’s accusing me of doing. And for what? I can’t really remember now.

I gulp again, unable to bring myself to words.

Xavier stands silently before me, a growl growing inside him. He’s going to beat me to a pulp, and I know I deserve it. I can’t even explain my actions. I’ve bungled it all.

Finally, I lift my chin to meet his glare. “Brother, allow me to explain?—”

He punches me on the chin. Not so hard that it knocks me over, but hard enough that I grab the side of my face.

“I deserved that,” I say, nodding and rubbing my jaw. “But please…” I let out a long breath. “My intentions were honorable?—”

“You put a child inside her,” he growls. “And she has no idea she’s linked to you for the next two decades. How is that in any wayhonorable?”

“Believe me, there was nothing untoward about the way that child came to be inside of her.” Just thinking about it gives me chills. How clinical it all was. Considering how I’ve come to feel about Renae now… It’s all so regrettable.

Xavier’s gaze narrows.

“Trust me. We’ve never shared a marital bed. Conjugal. However you want to put it without being crass.” I frown, rubbing my chin again. “Her pregnancy is nothing more than a medical procedure.”

“Why?” Xavier’s fists drop to his sides as his shoulders slump. “Why would you put the poor woman through that? And have her sign that insane marriage contract? And not have her read it?”

I shake my head. “I…” I let out another long breath before motioning to the bench Renae and I had been sitting on only a few minutes ago. Xavier looks at me as though I’ve gone insane, and perhaps I have. But I feel as though my legs have given out, and I can no longer stand.

I collapse onto the bench, putting my head in my hands.

Xavier finally joins me, and we sit silently for several long minutes.

“I wanted what you have,” I say, lifting my head after another few minutes. “What you and Benedict have. It seems so immature now. But I had an…experience. One I deeply regretted. One I told no one about at the time. And I came to realize what I was truly missing in my life was a family of my own.”

“You have a family. You have your brothers. We are your family.”

“But I wanted a child. I thought…” I let out a sigh. “I thought that was the answer to everything. If only I could find a woman to bear me a child of my own, then I could have the happiness and contentment the two of you have found. I thought it would make everything right. I thought…” I shrug. “It all seems so stupid to say it aloud now.”

“And you tricked poor Renae into agreeing to this?” Xavier shakes his head.

“I’d like her to stay.” My eyebrows rise even as I say the words. But it’s true. I would like her to stay.

“She believes she’s your surrogate, and you want her to stay?” Xavier cocks his head. “Have you fallen in love with her?”

“I… I think I might have.” I press my lips together. It feels true in my heart, at least. It’s the only explanation for what I’ve been feeling for her. It’s the only thing that might make any sense.

Xavier shakes his head, even as his eyes roll skyward. “I will never understand you, Brother.” He’s silent for a moment. “You still must tell her about the contract. She must know that Father will have had it written as an iron-clad legal document. There’s likely no way out of it. Especially now that she’s with child.”

I nod. “I’ve read the thing a thousand times, and there’s nothing in there short of death that releases either of us from the contract.”

“Then you’ll go to her, and you’ll tell her that. Explain to her that you love her and that everything has changed. That’s simple enough.” The hint of a smile plays at Xavier’s lips. “As usual, you’re making this much harder than it needs to be.”

“Right.” I nod again. “Right. I’ll just tell her I love her and that we’re going to stay together. There’s just the small issue with her father, and the other issue with her not wanting to raise our child with me. But other than that, it’s all very easy.” I rub at the knot on my jaw where my brother punched me.It could all be so easy if I could just tell her everything…

“You just need to be honest with her. Like you should have been from the beginning.” Xavier stands, patting me on the shoulder. “I’m not sorry for punching you. You deserved it.”

“I did deserve it,” I say, rubbing my chin again.

“You definitely did.” His brows draw together, and he turns toward the river. “What was that?”

“I didn’t hear anything,” I say.

“I definitely heard something,” Xavier says. He grabs my elbow, pulling me from the porch and onto the path toward the river.

---