Page 63 of Harmony

“Physically, I mean. I’m afraid I’ve already hurt you emotionally.”

“I’m a big girl.” I brush my hands over my arms, easing the chill that has erupted. “I can handle this thing between us for the duration of the tour. I want it.”

“I want it too. But it’s not all I want.”

Haven’t I already told him I’d do whatever he needs? Whatever he wants? What more could he want? Does he want to handcuff me to the bed? Bind me? Spank me? I’ll do it. I’ll do it all for him.

“What, then? What do you need, Jesse? Because I’ll move heaven and earth to get it for you.”

He simply stares at me then. Doesn’t try to get rough with me. Says nothing about changing the way we have sex. Nothing about tying me up or spanking me, even though the thought arouses me more than I thought it would.

“I will,” I say again. “I’ll move heaven and earth. I wanted so badly to be the one to fix the Dragon situation. I even asked Brock to fill in. He used to be a drummer in a garage band. I was going to scour the streets of London to find you a drummer. I wish I could have fixed it because I felt like it was my fault.”

“No. Not your fault. Never your fault.”

“I wish I could have fixed it,” I repeat, “but I’m glad Jett and Heather could fix it for you because I never intended to interfere with your big chance. I was ready to leave. To go home. But I couldn’t. Not after I promised Maddie that I’d do this trip with her. I couldn’t go back on my word.”

“No. And I wouldn’t want you to.” He stalks back toward me. “I want you here, Bree. I need you here.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” I grab his arms, caress his muscles that are so tense and tight. “So tell me what you want, Jesse. I gave you my heart. What else do you want?”

“Oh, Brianna…” He touches my cheek with such a gentle caress that I widen my eyes to make sure it’s him and not a dove’s wing.

Jesse’s not known for his light touch.

“I do want your heart, Bree. But I’m not sure you’ve actually given it to me.”

I drop my mouth open.

He gently pushes my chin upward so my mouth closes. “I can’t believe this, but…I’m in love. I love you, Brianna. I didn’t want to. I don’t want to. But I do. And it crept up on me so quickly that I almost missed it. But it’s fucking love. It’s not the pretty and romantic kind of love that you want, though. It’s the all-encompassing viral kind of love that will eat at your very soul. The kind of love that you know is true and pure because every love that came before it pales in comparison. The kind of forever love that’s so genuine it fucking hurts, Bree.”

The words…

Are they real?

Because he’s told me time and again that there’s no future. That he’ll never love me. But Jesse wouldn’t lie to me. Not about something so important.

Still, I’m afraid to hope…

“You love me?” I say, my lips quivering.

“God, yes. I tried to fight it, but you’re inside me, Bree. You’re part of me now, and I’m not sure I can let you go if I give in to this.”

I swallow. A big part of me is still afraid to believe his words. “Jesse, I don’t want you to let me go.”

“But… I know you think you love me. But you’re young. This is a first love. And I’m telling you I was convinced I was in love when I was your age too, but this… This… This is so much more. It’s like when the melody builds, and the harmony comes in, and it’s perfect and comes to a fever pitch… It’s the perfect blend… The perfect sound…”

I step back.

The look on his face is pure anguish. He’s wincing, his eyes are glassy, his jaw rigid, and the wrinkles on his forehead are furrowed with tension. He’s in pain. Jesse’s in pain.

That’s not how you should look after you tell a woman you’re in love with her.

I swallow. “Why do you think I wouldn’t return that kind of love?”

“Because it’s too much for a kid like you.”

Tension builds in my shoulders. He’s not trying to make me angry. I know this, but again I have to remind him of the facts. “I’m twenty-two.”

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