Page 32 of Savage

But, if I consider the death of my mother to be a godsend, does that mean I’m a bad person or just truly fucking broken.

“I didn’t want her to wake up,” I tell Harper. “I sat in the car tonight and wished I could see her take her last breath. I don’t know if I could be the one to kill her. I’m not sure I have the strength in me to do that, but fuck, I really wanted to see her final moments.”

Harper sits back, so she can look into my eyes. When she’s got something serious to say, there’s a little arch in her brow as she raises it. I can see it now, and it makes me smile.

“I understand how you feel,” she tells me, and I know it’s the truth. We’ve both been broken by the ones who were meant to keep us safe. “I have worried the same thing about myself because seeing my father take his final breath brought me a sick form of solace. When I watched Caia kill him, I didn’t feel regret, guilt, or even sadness. But I think, even if I’d had the weapon in my hand, I probably wouldn’t have been able to kill him, because there has always been a part of me that longed for his approval and love. And I hate that. I hate that, deep down, I know all I ever wanted was for him to be a real parent.”

She’s right. Maybe I’ve been waiting for some weird miracle, hoping my mother will admit it was all a terrible mistake. I want her to apologize and tell me that when she allowed River and me to be taken, she didn’t know we were going to be harmed.

“I hate what they’ve done to us,” I tell her. “Even though I can happily walk into a home, an office, or wherever we find these sick fucks and end them, I can’t imagine doing it to the one person I should be able to kill.”

“That doesn’t make you weak,” Harper tells me.

I can see it in her eyes, she wants me to believe her. But I can’t. Not yet anyway. I think I’m far too focused on the problem at hand. Knowing my mother is free once more, I can’t settle. My nerves are on edge, and it’s making me jittery.

“Perhaps it doesn’t,” I finally say to her. “My mind is a mess at the moment. I want this over with now. It’s been years, yet my mother can still make me feel like a toy she can play with.”

Dante enters the room. He looks like an avenging angel who’s ready to kill someone. But right now, all I want is to sit here in the quiet.

Crouching down in front of us, he takes my hand. Dante doesn’t know how to be gentle and affectionate. Instead, he offers a domineering, commanding tenderness.

“The cleanup team are on their way. We have to wait for them to get here before we can leave, and then we can try to locate your mother,” he explains.

“I don’t want to go anyway. Not right now.” My voice is a whisper. “Can we just…I don’t know, sit here for a while? I’m exhausted, and I don’t want to chase around looking for my mother. I want to plan everything properly before we go after her again.”

I know she’ll be well hidden by now. And I don’t want us to rush in without knowing what we’re doing. If we act in anger and make a mistake, it’s only going to put us a hundred steps back.

“It’s your choice,” Dante tells me. “Anything you want or need, we’re here for you.”

“You’re not alone, Rayne,” Harper reminds me, and I nod.

“Thank you. Both. I just feel we’re going to be fighting a losing battle if we rush after her without having all the information we need. We have Bane’s business card, but I’m not sure how it’s going to help.” I look at Dante, then at Harper. “Unless you want to?—”

“I can’t face him right now,” Harper confesses. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to after the party last night. It was one of the most challenging situations I’ve ever been in.”

Nodding, I say, “It won’t be too long before we find him again. You’ll come face-to-face with the bastard, and this time, you’ll be the one in control. I can promise you that.”

Dante scoops me up in his arms and carries me to his office. He’s like my own personal safety net. Even when they found me imprisoned in the cells, I was intrigued by the man with the cold eyes that reminded me of the icy ocean I once swam in.

One of the men who bought me lived on a small island. I don’t know where it was. If anyone asked me now, I wouldn’t be able to pinpoint it on a map, but the water that lapped the shore was freezing cold. It was the only time I felt anything other than fear or pain. I welcomed the icy sensation of the waves against my legs.

Once in the office, Dante settles in his large chair and pulls me into his lap. His strong arms wrap around my middle, and he holds me close, inhaling deeply as his nose tickles my neck.

“What are you doing, Dante?”

“Just reminding myself of your perfume,” he says without any emotion in his voice.

Sometimes, I wonder if Dante feels anything for us, but then I see how he looks at us and how he acts if there’s danger around. When it comes to Harper and me, his protectiveness is like a cologne he exudes, filling the air and sheltering us.

Dante opens his emails and scrolls through some of them. There are hundreds. All containing intel on the men and women we intend to stop.

I don’t know how long we sit there together, but at some point, I must fall asleep.

When my eyes flutter open again, I’m in bed. A noise captures my attention, but I can’t put my finger on it. Rolling over, I find Dante’s warm body beside me. In the dark, I can’t see Harper, but I’m pretty sure she’ll be on the other side of Dante. It’s our usual position while sleeping, and I know when we wake in the morning, the two people I love will give me the comfort and pleasure I so desperately need.

My eyes close again, and I allow my hand to rest on Dante’s stomach as sleep steals me once more and a nightmare beckons.

The auctions that are held monthly are the reason I’m here. My current owner is no longer impressed with me, so I’m going to be sold again. He’s convinced I’ll fetch a good price. I’m all dolled up in a pretty white dress. My long blonde hair is pinned in a tight ponytail, and my bruises have been hidden by makeup. I don’t look like the broken toy he calls me. Deep down, I would rather be dead, but he hasn’t afforded me that luxury, and now that he’s selling me, he never will.

---