Page 10 of The Night I Lost Him

Another dancer appeared onstage, and I took a moment to try to compose myself. Sixteen-year-old Caden was crying inside of his box, practically screaming as he pounded on the walls, desperate to be let out again. But I had to shut him up, force him back in, and re-tie that bow that had started to unravel. I had to.

I managed to distract myself, not even really paying attention to the guy losing his clothing onstage piece by piece and thought everything might be okay after all. But then Jamie came out just like the other dancer had, and like I should have expected, and started working his way through the crowd. With much determination I ignored most of the lap dances he was giving to the patrons at the tables. The one time I slipped and looked over, it appeared that while he was practically humping some guy’s lap, he was looking over at our table again.

Caitlin looked at me in the one second I glanced over there. “You want a lap dance, Caden? I’m buying.” She wasn’t laughing. She was serious, and she wasn’t teasing me about it, either. Still, I couldn’t believe she’d actually suggested it.

“What? No. I’m good.”

She shrugged, then looked at Jesse, opening her mouth to ask him. He grinned without any form of hesitation and said, “Oh, honey. You do not have to ask me once.”

She giggled and turned back toward the front of the room, but paused and tilted her head as her smile turned into a frown. When I followed her eyes, I saw a blonde man who was probably in his late thirties sitting at a table but holding out his hand to block the path beside it. He was talking to Jamie, whose entire demeanor had changed. Jamie glanced past us, toward the door. The bouncer who’d let us in was already stalking purposefully toward the two of them, looking pissed. The bouncers there were huge, and they were the only fully clothed employees in the place.

The bouncer stepped between Jamie and the guy at the table, speaking animatedly though I couldn’t hear what he was saying. I wasn’t sure what had just happened, but the bouncer put his hand on Jamie’s arm and led him toward the backstage area while another bouncer walked the man, who was protesting, out the front door of the club.

“What just happened?” Jesse asked, pouting a little, “Where did he go?”

Caitlin looked bewildered. “I don’t know. That guy just put his hand out and started talking to Jamie like he wanted a lap dance. I’m going to go to the bar to get us some more drinks and see if I can assess the situation with the bartender. I’ll be right back. I guess worst-case scenario you have to pick another dancer for your lap dance.”

“Aw, boo,” Jesse said, but then he shrugged. “I wanted him, but whatever. I’ll make do.” For some reason, that irritated me.

We sat there half watching the dancer onstage until Caitlin came back with more shots and that excited look she got when she had gossip. “Ok, guys,” she said dramatically as she placed the shots in front of each of us, “So that guy who was just escorted out was Weird Wally. None of the dancers like him, but he’s especially fond of our dear Jamie. The guy somehow found Jamie on socials even though he only goes by Raven here and he’s even tried to talk to Jamie in the parking lot. He also apparently tried to follow Jamie back to campus once, which resulted in a temporary restraining order.” I downed my shot, looking at her wide-eyed.

She went on, “The restraining order is long out of effect, and they can’t legally ban him. He makes sure not to touch Jamie here, and he didn’t come in during the restraining order. They’ve told him he can’t talk to Jamie, but he keeps coming in, claiming he doesn’t know what days Jamie works, and still tries to talk to him every time. The bouncers watch, and if Jamie even looks slightly uncomfortable, they make Weird Wally leave. He won’t take the hint, though. He keeps showing up, and threatened a lawsuit if they ban him because he’s made sure they don’t have any legal grounds to. He threatens them every time they make him leave, but they don’t care. They know he'll be back, anyway. What a creeper.”

Jesse laughed heartily as he said, “Coming from the girl who just found all of this out on a two-minute trip to the bar.”

Jeff laughed, and she grinned, but were they not all hearing this? “What can I say?” Caitlin said, flicking her ponytail, “I’m adorable and I know how to get what I want. It helped that I knew Jamie’s real name and said we knew him from school. Everyone in here hates Wally, so they don’t mind letting people know to be wary of him.”

I finally found my voice. They weren’t taking it seriously. “Jamie has a fucking stalker?”

They all looked at me. “I don’t know if he’s really a stalker, per se,” Caitlin said, scrunching her nose up as though just realizing it might not be something to make light of, “But he’s definitely a weirdo.”

“He tried to follow Jamie home. How are you going to say that isn’t a stalker?” Why didn’t they think it was a big deal?

She tilted her head. “Well, I admit he’s seriously over the line. Hopefully it’s all innocent, though, because he sure hasn’t taken the hint that Jamie’s not interested. Especially after a restraining order.”

I looked back toward the stage but couldn’t get the whole thing out of my head. I was angry and worried, worried about this person I’d just started to get to know. I’d never known anyone who had a person so obsessed with them that they’d try to follow them home from work. Let alone keep showing up after a restraining order had been placed on them.

The only thing that pulled me from my thoughts was the fact that a few moments after Caitlin whispered something to our waiter, Jamie appeared at the front of the room again, making his way back through the crowd at the tables. He looked more put together again, confident like he’d been the entire time he was onstage. He headed right for our table, and suddenly every other thought flew right out of my brain.

“Oh, girl, you made it happen,” Jesse practically shrieked.

Caitlin giggled. “Happy birthday, boo,” was all she said. She glanced at me right after she said it, though.

Jesse excitedly scooted his chair out and sideways from the table in anticipation as he watched Raven walk toward him. Jamie stopped right in front of Jesse, looking only at him as he took the cash from Caitlin, folding it and tucking it into the top of his boot. Then he stepped even closer, his feet on either side of Jesse’s as Jesse sat in the chair looking eagerly at his damn classmate. Jamie lifted his foot to Jesse’s shoulder as a song started, none of us paying attention to the stage anymore, the toe of his platform boot touching but just barely and gave a nice slow roll of his crotch right in Jesse’s face. I swallowed hard.

Then Jamie dropped his foot and put his hands on Jesse’s shoulders, starting the most erotic fucking dance I’d ever seen. It was different from the one onstage. If I didn’t know any better, I’d have thought they were fucking in that seat to the music. Jamie was rolling his entire body and Jesse was definitely there for it. At one point Jamie turned around to face away from Jesse, slowly rolling his hips as he straddled Jesse’s lap. I caught sight of the tattoo again and tried to focus on that instead of what he was doing in my best friend’s lap. The phoenix was detailed beautifully, done in black but the flames surrounding it a halo of orange and red, just as detailed as the phoenix itself. There were words at the bottom, near Jamie’s hip bone. Again I rise.

Jamie suddenly grabbed Jesse’s hands and placed them on his abs before dragging them down his body, right past his crotch and down his thighs as he stood slowly, still moving to the music, then slid them back up to his abs as he sat down. He repeated the process, still moving Jesse’s hands up and down his body. I almost dropped my drink as I struggled to take a sip.

Jamie turned back around to face Jesse, who was in heaven and visibly doing everything in his power not to reach out and touch the writhing, naked torso in front of him without permission. He was completely lost in the lap dance. But then Jamie’s eyes flicked to mine behind Jesse. And they stayed there. Oh, man, I knew calculus was going to be so awkward, but I couldn’t seem to look away. I wasn’t sure how it was possible, but the dance somehow got even more sexual. It was like he was giving me the lap dance…or like he wanted to be.

I really thought my heart was going to beat right out of my chest. It would be really embarrassing to die of a heart attack at twenty-one in a gay strip club while watching my best friend get a lap dance, but it was a legitimate fear right then. To be honest, I was surprised there was any blood left in my upper body for my heart to pump, because it all seemed to have gone…somewhere farther south.

When the song finally came to an end, Jamie leaned forward and licked the shell of Jesse’s ear. I wasn’t sure he was allowed to do that, but it didn’t really matter. Jesse whimpered, but Jamie was still looking at me. “See you at school on Monday,” he said. I wasn’t sure who he was talking to because he said it in Jesse’s ear, but his eyes were on mine. Then he stood up with a confident grin, told Jesse happy birthday, and gave Caitlin a wink before heading backstage again.

Was I watching his ass as he walked away, in those shorts with the see-through strips that left nothing on his backside to the imagination? Fine. Yes. I was. When I finally came back to the reality I’d floated away from somewhere in the middle of that lap dance, I found Caitlin and Jeff both staring at me. Jesse still appeared to be in heaven from the giant tease he’d just received and was sipping his beer while staring at the stage, oblivious to all of us.

Caitlin looked like there were a million things she needed to say. Even Jeff had an eyebrow arched as he looked at me silently. “What?” I finally got out somewhat defensively, managing not to squeak out the word as I tried to will my body back under control.

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