Page 21 of The Night I Lost Him

I slipped my hand back into his pants, and it slowly wandered down until I was tentatively rubbing over his hole again. I was honestly scared to death, because even though we’d fooled around a lot with our hands and our mouths, Gavin and I hadn’t done that. I could feel my hand trembling, which was kind of embarrassing, and it was a tight fit for my hand in his pants. I was also still a little concerned about him, albeit probably irrationally, and I still hesitated. He seemed to understand all the thoughts that were rushing around my head, though, because he unbuttoned and unzipped his pants to give me more room, and his lips found my neck. “It’s ok,” he whispered, licking and gently biting my skin. His words calmed my nerves.

I rubbed my index finger around his opening for a minute, then slowly slipped it inside, to the first knuckle. He gave a little moan that let me know I was doing something right, so I pushed in farther. When my finger was all the way in and I tentatively started to move it, he shoved his pants down so they were below his ass. His mouth worked its way up my jawline and back to my own mouth as my middle finger found his entrance. I pressed in slowly, since it was the first time I’d ever done it and I didn’t want to hurt him. When I had both fingers inside of him, working in and out, I tried to shift, because I really wanted to find that spot. I knew about it, but I’d never tried to find it on anyone, including myself. He must have known what I was doing, because when I curled my fingers a little and pressed in, he let out a soft cry and backed up to look me in the eye. “You found it,” he said with a little smile before going back for my neck.

I worked my fingers in and out, trying to hit that spot every time. I didn’t even care if it was all we did that night, I just wanted to make him feel good. He’d shoved his pants down a little more and his hard cock was free. As I watched, a drop of precum leaked from the tip. I wondered if I could make him come with nothing but my fingers inside of him.

He tried to palm my dick through my jeans, but his movements were clumsy, and he was obviously having trouble focusing on anything but my fingers. His mouth found mine again, but he was panting into it and his hands were trembling as he sloppily tried to kiss me.

His head finally fell back to my pillow, and he gave a desperate little moan. I watched, fascinated, as his dick leaked on my bed and gave a twitch. I’d never been so turned on in my life, certainly not with any of the girls I’d been with, and not even with Gavin. Hell, I thought I might be able to come like that, too, with only a couple of touches on my still clothed, very uncomfortable dick, and my fingers in his ass. He was watching me with heavily lidded eyes, and his hand clawed at my back. His eyes slipped closed as he said, “Caden…please.”

When he said my name in that tone and begged, he could have had anything he wanted. I would have robbed a bank for him if he’d have asked me to. I would have stolen the entire Statue of Liberty and brought it back to campus for him. I would have given him anything.

My lips made a trail down his neck, toward his bare chest. He was flushed and covered in a light sheen of sweat, and God, it was hot. “What is it?” I asked him, still moving my fingers, “What do you need?”

He opened his eyes again as I backed up to look at him, and though he seemed to be in a haze, his eyes found mine. “You,” he breathed, “I need you.”

I tried not to panic. It wasn’t as though I’d planned for the night to end that way, though, because I hadn’t really expected either of us to be ready for it so quickly. Condoms, I had. Lube, I did not. Please, Jesse, please come through for me even though I’ve never seen lube on your side of the nightstand drawer before.

I was also afraid I wouldn’t last, because when I looked down I noticed that there was a wet spot on the front of my jeans even though I hadn’t been touched besides a few sloppy gropes and the occasional brush of his hips. I was a little worried that the whole thing was going to turn out exceptionally embarrassing for me, but as I looked into his pleading eyes, there was no way I could have ever turned him down, and there was no part of me that wanted to.

I sat up, whipping my shirt over my head as he kicked his shoes and then pants and underwear off. He ended up on his back, his dick flopping onto his stomach. I had to admit it was impressive, but at least I also had nothing to be embarrassed about in that department.

I climbed off the bed, getting rid of my own pants and boxers as I yanked open the nightstand drawer. I grabbed a condom out of it, ripping it open with my teeth while my eyes scanned Jesse’s side of the divided drawer. And God bless him, there was a bottle of lube front and center, with a sticky note on it that said, “You’re welcome.” I’d wallow in humiliation later when he realized I’d needed his sarcastic gift and he’d been right in assuming I wouldn’t be prepared for whatever happened. I might yell at him for the note, but I would also buy him gifts, anything he wanted, because I don’t think I’d ever been more grateful. I grabbed the bottle, flicking the note off before slamming the drawer shut.

I climbed back onto my bed, sliding the condom on and slathering it with lube. Jamie pulled his legs up and spread them as I took a shaky breath, trying to get the nerve up to actually do it while simultaneously trying not to come before I even got inside of him, just from looking at him like that. “You ok?” he asked sincerely, in a way that let me know that even though he was every bit as turned on as I was, he’d abandon the whole thing if I wasn’t ok.

I nodded, rubbing some lube around his hole and slipping a finger back inside. “Yeah. You?” He gave a little moan and nodded as I slipped a second finger in and scissored them, trying to make sure he was lubed and ready for me. His head fell back on my pillow as I added a third finger, trying to make sure I continued to hit that spot inside of him.

“Caden,” he breathed, desperation clear in his voice. I couldn’t stop the little smile despite my nerves, and I pulled my fingers out as I scooted toward him.

I lined up, but I wanted to give him an out in case he needed one. He’d said he hadn’t dated in a while, and while that didn’t necessarily mean he hadn’t hooked up with people since then, I wasn’t small and I was worried about hurting him, especially since I didn’t fully know what I was doing. I was still shaking even though I was trying my best to hide it, and I looked up at him. “If I hurt you, or you want me to stop for any reason, just say red. Yellow if you want me to slow down.” The color code seemed easier than coming up with a safe word in the heat of the moment.

He looked me in the eye and said, “Green.”

I couldn’t stop a grin at that, and I slowly pressed forward, slipping inside of him. He grunted a little as I pushed into him, but I looked at his face and he didn’t tell me to stop. I pushed forward agonizingly slowly until I was fully buried inside of him. Oh, God. I fell forward, my forehead resting on his as I tried to slow my breathing.

His feet dropped to the bed beside my thighs, and he reached up with his own shaky hands, touching my face gently and bringing my lips to his for what was probably the sweetest kiss of the evening. It was one meant to reassure me he was still ok. I took a moment there, wallowing in the feeling of the kiss and what was happening lower, trying to both let him adjust and hold off my orgasm a little longer. I couldn’t move yet; I didn’t want it to be over before it really started.

I finally started moving slowly, little thrusts into the tight heat of him, and he sighed as he watched where our bodies connected. I was trying to find that spot again, and I distracted myself enough in my quest to hit it just right that I managed not to come immediately. But he felt…so good…so perfect. He felt like everything I’d been missing my entire life. I shifted up a bit and put my hand under his lower back to lift his hips up slightly. He cried out as his head fell back to the pillow again and his eyes closed. “Mmm, Caden, yes. There. Right there. Don’t stop. Please.”

I wouldn’t stop. Ever. I hit his prostate over and over, mesmerized as I watched the ecstasy pass over his face and precum leak out onto his belly. When I looked back up, his eyes were open again, and he was watching me watch him. He bit his lip and moaned again. Then, “Caden…” Ugh, my name, every time he said it. My dick twitched inside of him. I held off as best I could, continuing to move and hit his sweet spot every time. “Fuck, Caden, I’m almost there,” he groaned.

He was panting and making little sounds that were driving me wild. His legs were shaking, and his hands were holding my forearms in a death grip where I had braced myself with them on the bed on either side of him. His hips started giving little thrusts upward, looking for friction, as one of his hands slid down my arm and fisted in my sheet in a grip that I thought might actually rip it. I didn’t care, though. Those little whimpers and moans he was giving, the sweetest music I’d ever heard, were more than enough payment for a lifetime supply of sheets. “Jamie, God, I…” I wasn’t even sure what I was trying to say at that point. His body was the most amazing thing I’d ever felt. I had no idea sex could be so good.

I could feel myself getting close, so close, to the point I was having trouble holding myself up. And though I wanted to keep going, to see if I could make him come with my dick alone, I wanted him to get off, too, and I wasn’t going to last. My dick throbbed inside of him, and he must have felt it because he let out an ungodly groan. His eyes were closed and the noises coming out of him were nothing short of desperate. I moved to touch his cock, wanting to make sure he got off before I did, but before I could, he let out a cry that could probably be heard three doors down. His back arched off the bed and his entire body shook as cum shot out of his untouched dick onto his belly and chest in thick spurts that seemed almost never-ending. Well, that answered that question.

Watching him come was all I could take. It was literally the hottest thing I’d ever seen in my life, and I’d already been right on the verge. My orgasm exploded out of me, and I could swear the earth moved. I let out my own cry and dropped to my elbows, unable to hold myself up with my arms as my orgasm tore through me and I thrust into him erratically. Stars sparkled behind my eyelids and there was a feeling inside of me, an amazing feeling I’d never felt with anyone. Yes, I felt fantastic physically, since I was experiencing the best orgasm of my life, but my heart. It was exploding, too. In a good way.

Once my dick finally stopped pulsing inside of him, I gave a few more half-hearted thrusts, letting out a little groan after that unbelievable finish. My forehead fell to his shoulder for a moment as he panted beneath me. My eyes were closed as I caught my breath, and I grew a little afraid to open them. That was a first for me, and I was hoping I’d done good for him. It seemed like I had, but as I came down from my high, I was as unsure of myself as I had been when we started.

I finally lifted my head and forced my eyes open. He was looking at me, and when my eyes met his, his lips turned up into a little smile before he grabbed the back of my head and pulled me in for a kiss. Whatever was left of my heart melted into a puddle of goo, because he said more to me with that kiss than words ever could have.

When I pulled back again, I pulled out of him and sat up, discarding the condom and grabbing the shirt I’d thrown on the floor. I cleaned both of our bellies with it since I’d landed in his cum when I fell forward.

He was watching me carefully, as though waiting to see if I would freak out or tell him to leave. I was still riding on a high of, I don’t know, like? Adoration? I wasn’t about to let him just leave. We had the room to ourselves, and I’d worry about how to get him out without getting caught when morning came. In fact, I really wanted to take him to breakfast. I didn’t want him to leave in the morning. Right then, I didn’t care what anyone thought. I wanted to live like that forever. I wanted to stay inside of him for the rest of my life.

I fell into bed beside him, covering both of us up and reaching over him to turn off Jesse’s little lamp. To my relief, he didn’t freak out either, but scooted closer, wrapping an arm around my torso. It was a twin bed, but it felt like plenty of room to me. I thanked the college gods that my building had a bathroom in every dorm room, so we wouldn’t have to sneak out for anything. I wrapped my arms around him and fell asleep with my face nestled in his hair.

Chapter 10

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