Page 115 of To Bleed A Kingdom

“Pity me? Why?” I ask, offended at the very thought.

“Because you'll only ever be destined for survival.” Her eyes brighten, glowing with a feverish intensity as she places a palm upon my chest. Her warmth seeps into me and rids me of my anger, banishing all else but me and her. “Because there are those who hope. Those who fight for all beings throughout the realms. Humans, fae, immortals. For you. To live in a world where happiness and freedom isn’t a privilege, but a Stars-given right.”

Lifting my hand, I thread her fingers with mine, soaking in the feel of her bare skin. “I don't have the luxury of believing in such fantasies,” I reply quietly. I feel as if I’m disappointing her somehow, but I can't pretend to believe in a fairy tale. Not even for her sake.

“In that case,” she smiles softly, squeezing my hand, “I’ll just have to hope enough for the both of us.”

You really are extraordinary, aren't you? So bright and pure. Such a light in this darkened world. The only light within mine.

Staring into those amethyst orbs and seeing that sweet, tender smile of hers directed at me, words slip past my lips without conscious thought. “Go to dinner with me.”

“What?” She rears back, just as surprised as I am by my words. Flexing her fingers, she tries to pull from my grasp, but I clutch tighter and place my other hand atop hers, swallowing it within both of mine.

“Go to dinner with me,” I repeat myself, not regretting my statement in the least. This is right, her and I. I can feel it to the depths of my soul. She can, too. We’ve both just been too stubborn to accept it, but I don't want to fight it anymore. I can’t fight it anymore. And I won’t allow her to, either.

Cocking her head to the side, Lena scrunches her face. “Are you asking me or telling me?”

“Telling you.” I nod. “Definitely telling you.”

“Most males ask.”

“I'm not most males.”

“No, you're not, are you?” She shakes her head with a rueful smile. “I should say no on principle alone.”

“Probably,” I agree, and she laughs. “But you won't.”

“So sure of yourself,” she teases, then narrows her eyes. “Why should I?”

“Because you want me.”

Her eyes widen and she releases a startled laugh. “I don't remember ever mentioning that.”

“You didn't have to.” Lowering my head, my voice is a deep rumble within her ear. “I can see it when you look at me. Can feel it when we kiss.” I bury my face in the crook of her neck and inhale a deep breath, returning to the lobe of her ear with a flick of my tongue. “The scent of your desire for me is so strong, I can taste it on my tongue.”

“You only asked for dinner,” she says with a more pronounced rasp, a shiver wracking her body. “Even if I am attracted to you, you must have hit your head one too many times if you believe that guarantees I'll end up in your bed.”

“Because that's where you belong. In my bed, on my tongue, on my cock.” Her hand falls limp against my chest as I drop mine to her sides, feeling her every curve as I rock into her with my hardened cock, tangible proof that this desire is mutual.

But then she suddenly pulls from my grasp and steps back. One step, two steps, three steps. Dragging all her warmth with her, she leaves me with arms still raised, holding nothing but air.

“Is that all you want from me?” she asks quietly, a raw timbre to her tone. “Sex?”

No, I want all of you. Your mind. Your body. Your very soul.

But instead of speaking my thoughts, I remain silent. A cold chill sweeps through me, tightening my chest.

She flinches – she physically flinches at my continued silence as if I’d backhanded her across the face, before she quickly composes herself. “While your offer is tempting, I think I'll pass.” Her lips spread into a brittle smile, causing that tightening in my chest to twist painfully before she turns and walks away.

Stunned. Cold. Alone. I stare silently at her retreating back, scrambling for anything to say without me having to admit more than I wish to.

“I wouldn't have asked you to dinner if that's all I wanted!” I call out, hoping I said just enough without revealing the extent of my feelings for her. But when she peers over her shoulder at me and I see the look in her breathtaking eyes, I know it’s not enough. I'll have to offer her more if I want her to stay, but I don't know if I can.

Her lips lift into a small, sad smile. Then she returns her gaze forward, continuing on the stone walkway and leaving me behind.

A whoosh drones in my ear as I watch her walk away, imagining what my life would be like if I were to let her go, never to see her again. How I would feel if I were never able to speak to her. Never able to see that sassy smirk or hear her throaty laugh, never see the fire flash within her eyes when I piss her off, and never feel the warmth that fills me when she looks at me with that small smile I know is meant for me and me alone. I don't even think about how I'd never be able to hold her in my arms again or how I would never know what it felt like to be inside her. All I can think about is how bleak and dark my life will be if she was just not there. As if she had died and I was destined to walk the world alone, forever grieving. And in this moment, I realize, as much as I don't want to admit how much I’ve come to care for her, as much as I don't want to expose myself to another, that's not a life I'm willing to live.

“I don’t laugh, Lena!” I shout.

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