“But why do they always have to choose me?” I whisper, my bottom lip quivering. “What is it about me that says they can take what does not belong to them?”
His expression morphs, contorting into one of torment; the same torment that etches his face flows down the bond and into me, clashing with mine. And I can take no more. No more pain, no more fear, just …no more.
“Is it my clothes? You said they showed too much.”
The waves crash over my head, dousing me in despair as they sweep me up within their depths. Sinking, sinking, sinking. The water swallows me whole, drowning me in agony.Fumbling with the laces of my vest, my fingers tremble as I desperately try to tear them apart.
“Stop,” Darius pleads as he places his hands atop mine, enfolding them within his.
“Maybe that’s it,” I say, tears blurring my vision. “Or my face? Or all of it. Just take it, then. Take it all! I don't want it. Never have. Give me one of those ridiculous dresses and burn the skin on my face until only scars remain.” I unclasp my hands from his and raise his stiffened hand to my cheek.“I can't go through something like that again, Darius. I won't survive it. Help me. Please.”
Jaw clenched, Darius searches my eyes for several moments before his face softens and his stiffened hand relaxes, molding to my cheek. “How could I burn such perfection?”
“Because it's a curse,” I choke out.
He shakes his head. “No, Lena. It's a blessing.”
My vision blurs even more as the tears brimming my eyes spill over, trailing down my cheek. “It's not just them, Darius. It's everyone. The actions of the cruel and corrupt may be more sinister than most, but everyone wants something from me. Wants to use me one way or another, no matter how honorable they may be.” My fingers travel toward his forearm and wrap around his wrist. “Can’t they see I can do no more? That I'm already doing everything I can, and if they continue to take, take, take, they'll deplete me to an empty shell with nothing left to give? Why can't they see, Darius? Why won't they just stay away and leave me be?”
He stares at me for a long moment, his arctic blue eyes a reflection of my own pain. I know he wishes he could save me from my agony but he can’t. Not from something that has already come to pass. Not from what has already come to be.
Stepping closer, he presses his chest against mine. Lifting his other palm to my other cheek, he cradles my face so gently, so carefully, it's as if he believes I could break with just a touch. “I don't know why there's evil in the world. I don't know why some males are cruel. If you're a good person, I don’t think it's something you can ever truly understand. But I do know if they're willing to harm you, they're willing to harm anyone.” His eyes flash in conviction as he swipes away my tears.“That has nothing to do with you.”
His features soften as he strokes a light caress along my cheek with his thumb. “As for why people can't stay away from you, it's not because of your face or your beauty. It’s everything about you. It's because of who you are in here.” He pressesa palm over my rapidly beating heart. “You're kind and caring. You’re whip smart and funny.” He chuckles. “Gods, you’re funny! No one makes me laugh like you do.” His smile slips, and his expression becomes serious once more. “You're fiery and strong. Protective of those you love. You have this way about you where you can make everyone around you feel special. Doesn't matter if they’re a prince or a beggar, you make them feel needed and cared for. When you walk into a room, all eyes fall on you, not because of your beautiful face, but because of the beauty of your soul. So bright and pure, it's like a bright star in a blackened sky. People feel if they could just share one word with you, one touch, one kiss, your light could swallow the darkness within them. The question isn't why they won't stay away, Lena. It's how can they?”
Affection lurches from him, hurtling down the bond into me, along with something else. Something so much more than affection or attraction or tenderness. It’s powerful, potent, and could be absolutely devastating. An emotion I'm too terrified to acknowledge.
Placing my hands atop his, I give him a watery smile. “Thank you.”
“No reason to thank me. Every word was the truth.”
“I know.”
His chest expands, regret lining his face as his hands fall to his sides and he steps back. Sniffling, I swipe beneath my nose and scan all the lifeless bodies scattered around me.
It’s a good thing he got here so quickly. If he’d arrived even a minute later…
A thought pops into my mind and I frown.“Darius, how did you find me?”
His face shutters, and his lips tighten. “I felt you.”
Humming, I nod to myself.
He opens his mouth, hesitates, then says, “Lena, that pain...” He shakes his head in bafflement. “It was indescribable.”
“Yes, it is,” I reply quietly, walking to the adjacent wall and resting my head back with a sigh.
“Why are you here, Lena?” No answer forthcoming, he prowls towards me. “It's not for trading leather. I haven't seen you approach a single vendor since you arrived.”
I know what he's doing. Can feel his calculation through the bond. I’m cracked raw, vulnerable. He knows this and is using it to his advantage. I've evaded every personal question he’s thrown at me, but it seems his patience is long gone. And laid bare as I am, I'm simply too tired to fight him on it, so I neither agree nor disagree.
“Are you in trouble?” Silence. “Are you running from someone?” Nothing. Lifting an arm, his movements are aggravated as he swipes a hand through his hair. “Let me help you.”
I meet his eyes. “If anyone could help, it would be you, but you can't. No one can. This journey is for me and me alone.”
He steps into my space, his blue eyes searching my own. “It doesn't have to be that way.”
Placing both hands on his chest, I rise up to my toes and press a soft kiss to his bristled cheek. “I wish that was true,” I whisper in his ear. Then, I slip between him and the wall, heart aching in loneliness as I stride down the alley without a backwards glance.